disappointed mom

Jennifer - posted on 12/29/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Does anyone else feel like they are a complete disappointment to their mom?
When I got preg. with my first son, I was in college. I dropped out and married the dad, because my mom said I needed to before I started showing. I didn't even really intend on marrying him, even though we were engaged, because I started to learn that he was a theif and liar and drug addict. I had just felt like I had alread disappointed her enough. When my first was about 8mo. old, I found out I was pregnant again, and again she was disappointed. When I was about 5 1/2 months along, the marriage ended (disappointed her again) and I had to move back home with my parents, because my husband at the time (who never held a job) stole all the money I had and I couldn't afford rent, clothes, or anything. When my youngest was 10mo old, I met my current husband. After about 6mo of dating, we moved in together. This really disappointed her, because we weren't married yet. When I found out I was expecting my third child (which was planned) we told her and she was completely disappointed. When we decided that my husband made enough money that I could quit my job and stay home with the kids (which is what i wanted) she seemed completely disappointed then too! Now my husband and I have decided that we want one more baby, and I know she will be disappointed again. I just don't get it. I don't need her aproval or anything, I just wish she would be happy for me for once. I know she wanted me to go to college and get a degree, and when I was younger, I wanted that too. But, plans change! I am happy with my life. I love being home with my kids. I couldn't imagine leaving them again every day. Oh yeah, we also bought our first home and that made her disappointed too, because we weren't close enough to her. My husband is sick of all of it. He feels like he will never be good enough for her. I try to talk to him about it, but all it does is make him mad. I tried to talk to my mom once and I even asked her why she just couldn't be happy for me. She told me she was, but her body language and eyes said differently. Yes we have had some hard times, but we are a good strong Christian family and our kids are learning to be very respectful. I know sometimes money gets a little tight, but we always have a roof over our heads, food in our mouths, and all our bills get paid. So why when everthing is going great do I feel like a complete failure to my mom? Does anyone else feel like this?

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Joannie - posted on 12/29/2009

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I do sometimes...I am with a 42 yr old and i am 27..he has 3 other children and we have one together..18mths old. We have been through some really bad times together and i know she would rather me be with someone else but she understads i am an adult and have to make that dicision on my own..Things are going good for us right now..but still she insist we are not suposed to be together...you have to live your own life and not worry what other people think even if it is your mother...being a mom myself i wouldnt want my son going threw the same things i have been through i can see how it would be disapointing if he does but i would be more disapointed in myself for not guiding him in the right direction..but everyone is there own person and no matter what you try and teach your kids they want to learn things for themselves. this is nobodys fault and your mother needs to realize that and let you live the life your happy living even if she isnt..hope things get better..you need to let this go with your mom and put it in her hands make peace with it and you will be much happier!

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