Do ALL babies HATE sleeping?!

Nicole - posted on 05/06/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 19 months. We used to let her cry it out after I weaned her from breastfeeding (at 11 months old) That worked, but there was always the guilt. She would cry for 2-5 minutes and then sleep on her own, which was really good.

Then my mother said that we should cuddle her to sleep. Make sleeping more relaxing for her and help her to enjoy sleep. So we started that, and ever since she wakes up in the middle of the night cries for LONG periods of time until we HAVE to get her or lose hours of sleep. She's becoming too dependent on us.

How do you feel? what do you think is the right thing for us to do? Let her cry it out and become independent or let her rely on us?

thanks in advance for your input.

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Elyssa - posted on 05/07/2010

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My son USED to be an excellent sleeper, then we moved into my in-laws house and we all shared a bedroom, so he got used to having mommy right there whenever he needed me. Now he won't sleep in his own bed. he ALWAYS wakes up and comes into my bed. It makes it so I can't sleep, but he WON'T sleep in his own bed. It's VERY frustrating!

Diana - posted on 05/06/2010

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My daughter is 21 months, and still is not sleeping through the night. She also wakes up all hours of the night, and will cry until I get her. She is still nursing, and it's become a habit for her to wake up. The experts recommend you put your child down to sleep while she is still awake, so she can learn to fall asleep on her own. When you had her down to where she cried for 2-5 minutes before falling asleep, I only wish my own daughter would do that. I think what you had done before is the better option for your daughter. What your mother said, cuddling her to sleep, only makes bad sleeping habits for her. If you cuddle her to sleep, and lie her in her crib asleep, when she wakes up, she gets scared. You're no longer in the room, she's not cuddling with you, and it scares her, so she wakes up screaming until you cuddle with her again. Putting babies/toddlers to sleep before they are asleep, helps them to fall asleep on their own when they wake up in the middle of the night. I know this because my son was a perfect sleeper. My daughter, not so much. I let my daughter cry it out for up to 20 minutes. After that, if she's still crying I will go in, nurse her and try all over again. I know that my daughter is learning bad sleeping habits, but I'm trying to work on it. I think, in your situation, you might want to consider going back to how you did it before. She cried for 5 minutes, but slept all night. Sure beats having her wake up all hours of the night wanting to cuddle!

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Myra - posted on 05/09/2010

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Have you tried reading a bedtime book and a little milk or water? My oldest sleeps best when she has a little milk and a book before bed. Ironically, my 3 month old just wants a little milk and no book. Some nights my youngest falls asleep in my arms, some nights she doesn't, but she sleeps through the night. My 24mo old has been going to bed with just a book some nights since the middle of February for two reasons: 1. she was soaking herself so bad from the milk at bedtime and 2. it is more relaxing now with the new baby sister to just put the oldest down for bed because little sis will just cry.

I'm not a fan of the crying it out thing. IMO, it doesn't promote "independence" for children. I'm of the opinion that consoling or comforting a child makes them feel safer and more independent. After all, we're talking about children who can't even fully express what's wrong...how can they be independent?! They have to rely on their parents. Unless your daughter is a lot different than mine, crying is not the first option. Mine only cries when she doesn't know what else to do. At that point, letting her cry it out just teaches her she isn't cared about.

Auli - posted on 05/09/2010

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I think that about 19 months is age, when many children gets more troubled, even they had slept well. It's maybe from their dreams and growing and theet... But with my children this period has not been too long. I have taken my child near to me, so she/he can know that mother is near and there is anything to fear. Older has learned well to sleep by her own, younger is still sleeping near. He is 21 month now. Now he sleeps all night. I think I can't give too much love and nearness to my child.
I can't / wan't leave my child to cry for long time, and I don't have problem to take him to my bed. Children and their parents are different. What works wit us, is not right thing for everyone. My children love to sleep and when they gets tired, they wants to get bed. They both had some periods when they had cried middle of night, but it has stopped. There will be new times, when they cries, but they know that they can come to mum... They can get independent later and they definitely will. :-) Major forces of each mother, who suffers from sleepless child.

Nicole - posted on 05/08/2010

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I know how you feel. Right now we are waiting to move, and so we're still in our 1 bedroom apartment. So our daughter is in the same room with us. I'm very curious as to how she will react when we move and she has her own room.

Nicole - posted on 05/06/2010

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Yeah, it does get frustrating, and there definitely is a guilt factor when we let them cry it out. I totally understand what you are going through. Read what "Diana Matchett" said, that totally helps my way of thinking about the issue.

Nicole - posted on 05/06/2010

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That's some good advice.
It makes so much sense, I never thought of it that way. (When you said that she has to fall asleep on her own, rather than fall asleep in my arms, and then wake up finding herself alone. I never thought of it that way.) That's really really great advice thanks a lot.

Sarah - posted on 05/06/2010

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i asked a similar question.. i know i still feel guilt letting my son cry it out but i also get frustrated at times too because of how he fights the sleep

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