do any of you deal with husbamds who work from home??

Cleaver - posted on 11/22/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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do any of you have husbands who work at home?? everyone (except my mother) tells me that it must be amazing because we can do things together and i must have his help but the truth is that hes driving me up the wall he thinks that because he can he must sleep in til half way through the afternoon then work until all hours of the night, when i am not home he smokes in the house. but worst of all he NEVER leaves the house if i need me time i have to leave any tips on how i can deal with this i hate him working from home but he works for his dad and i doubt will quit or get fired ever

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Alison - posted on 11/26/2012

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Toni, mine would ask why the stove wasn't as clean as it use to be when we first bought it, then cook eggs,bacon, and toast then leave every pan he used right there for someone else to wash. My mother once told me that it's a learned behavior. If you don't start the marriage off by catering to them then they won't come to expect you to do it in the future. She MAY be right, but who wants to sit by and let their house get filthy and smelly just to test it out? What should scare you the most though, is the fact that if you become sick in the future and have to depend on your spouse to take care of you, give you your medications, take you to the bathroom? I thought about that recently... frightening!

Toni - posted on 11/24/2012

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yep my dh refuses to take annual leave because he "is home all the time" but never stops working - drives me up the freakin wall. And he is a great one for making a huge mess behind him and wondering why the house is such a mess

Alison - posted on 11/24/2012

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of course! because then it because YOUR fault that HE'S late.. *exasperated sigh*

Cleaver - posted on 11/23/2012

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i know and then (my husband would get upset if i give up and he sleeps too late

Alison - posted on 11/23/2012

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That happened to me as well. It was .. "Just 5 more minutes." Then, "just 20 more minutes. " I have snooze written somewhere on my forehead. lol

Cleaver - posted on 11/23/2012

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yes i do not leave him alone about smoking its bad for the kids i brought it up to his parents when i was there discretely and his mother freaked out on him and he does it less. ill try this i dont like having to come in every to minutes to wake him up i have my routine and going in there over and over is not in it

Alison - posted on 11/23/2012

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My husband use to work at home more often than he does now. It was awful for me too most times. He would mess up more than he cleaned, and needed me to find things for him. It felt like he was one of my children because he wasn't helping me raise them anymore. He also use to smoke in the house. There were ashtrays with cigarettes that had to be dumped out all the time. (he'd never do that).

I felt hostile toward him constantly. So, I think when people suggest that you should be happier being stuck within the same four walls daily with your "beloved" they forget you're not bf and gf any longer. He's not new to you anymore and he's not trying to be on his best behavior. His little idiosyncrasies are no longer cute but very annoying.

He's in your space,your Domain. You've heard how people will say "women run the house"? Well, in a way it's very true. My husband messed with the flow of my everyday schedule. Waking him so he could " work" when work consisted of easy tasks accomplished in a short amount of time followed by long breaks of computer time and couch rest, aggravated me to no end, especially when I normally get up at 5am.

Possible things you could try?

If he's just sleeping because he can get away with it and it's not necessary to his work schedule, you could either wake him or let him sleep. If u'd like to have him help you get the kids ready for school or help out around the house. Give him an alarm clock and set it for him. Take a decent amount of time in the morning, and wear him out. Have him do things for/with you that will make him tired and possibly change his schedule a bit. A big help might be a room as his "office" where all his stuff can go. When he's in his office, think of him as being away from the house. If he's working for hours that gives you hours of peace. Keep on him about the smoking -like a dog with a bone; don't let go of the issue. Eventually he'll get tired of the nagging. I nagged mine until, I guess, he figured it was better to walk outside to the back porch rather than face the long drawn out sessions of arguing we might have over the fact that he didn't. All of this assumes that you have a husband willing to work with you. I know some people don't want to help or change.

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