Do any of you stay-at-home moms feel overwhelmed with cleaning and chores all the time??

Gina - posted on 02/17/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I feel like what I do all day is cleaning and putting things away and don't have time to play with my kids. Before I know it I am making the next meal, and the next and then it is time for bed time. To make me time I do it when my son is at school and my daughter is napping, but sometimes not even then either. I just want some feedback if I am the only one out there with this problem. Thanks.

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Lauren - posted on 02/17/2010

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hi gina...
i have been struggling w/ this for a long while now. i make myself sick and get very grumpy and when i worry too much about the cleaning and stuff piling up i get neurotic!!!
then i don't clean as well as i'd like and i tend to yell at the girls... then when the day is over i feel ashamed. one thing i think of when i feel myself getting in those modes... is that the dirt will be there later...tomorrow or the next day the same as i left it... but my girls will grow and not stay the same.. and i will miss out if i worry all the time about the cleaning... it is so easy to spend more time cleaning than w/ our own kids. its baby steps for me... and i am doing very well.. good luck to you!

Theresa - posted on 02/17/2010

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You're not the only one. I found it helps to have scheduled chores on certain days. For instance I do laundry on Sat, vaccuum and sweep on Tues, etc. There will always be smaller things to do each day, but assigning a day for the bigger tasks seems to help. The other thing is make sure your kids are learning to pick up after themselves. I know the really young ones can't, but even my 17 month old knows she needs to help me pick up her toys. With my older kids I have a rule, you pick it up wken you're done playiong with it before you move onto something else. Do they alway do it, of course not. But they get one reminder to come back and pick it up of I will pick it up. If I have to pick it up it goes into a garbage bag and they don't get it back. i don't throw it, they do get it back after a few weeks if they can show they're going to responsible enough to pick up. It seems to help them want to keep things picked up. The only toys that are allowed to be left out over night are built things, like train tracks. Even those things need to be put away after 3-4 days. It seems after that period of time they've gotten bored playing with it anyway.

Brandi - posted on 02/17/2010

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I think this is a pretty common problem with stay home moms. If you are anything like me, You probably thought that since you stay home, you will have this emaculately clean home with dinner on the table at exactly 5:30, the kids would be perfectly groomed and well-kempt. Boy was I WRONG!!!! My kids rarely get out of their pajamas, the dishes and laundry are NEVER done, the living room and the kids room is ALWAYS a mess and I have NO time to clean the bathroom until the weekend *if even that* i swear the ONLY time my house gets a proper cleaning is when I KNOW i'm getting company, then hubby HAS to pitch in too. It gets very frustrating and I haven't really figured out how to do it all just so even after 2 years. You aren't alone in your battle against the mess, I promise lol

Veronica - posted on 02/17/2010

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I can relate entirely! I have five children, and am expecting baby six in April!! My laundry and dishes are an endless task! Actually, what frustrates me more - is when im doing my housework - my children will take advantage of busy mom, and get into as much as possible, and 'destroy' as much as possible! ahahhaha



A few things that help me out are: A) my hubby is home in the morning, so i try to get some things done then, where he is there to watch and play with them, and I can get some much needed stuff done while he is home. (a few loads of laundry - the dishes -etc.)

B) I incorporate my kids. They all know how to pick up their own toys, make their beds, and help fold and put away clothes. The older ones (7, 5 and 4 years old) do most of this. My little ones (2 and 1) like to feel important with throwing toys in the toy bin. The older ones loves vacuuming and sweeping - and this is usually what i use to get them to do something (clean your room and you can vacuum! hehe) When they get their chores done, I ALWAYS inspect - and then their main reward is lots of praise, pat on the back - things to make them feel good about what they did! (I say stuff like - doesnt it feel wonderful to have everything neat and clean and put away?)



My next step is teaching the older ones about washing dishes, and stuff like that as well. My explanation to them is that we are a family, and as a family we do housework together.



My grandma has a little plaque in her house that says stuff along the lines of: If you take it out, put it away; if you sleep in it, make it; if you open it close it - etc etc. Doing little things such as throwing dirty clothes right away in the hamper, putting garbage right away in the garbage (my kids like to leave stuff around), and rinsing dishes and stacking them or putting them in the dishwasher - saves tons of time in itself.



I know its a lot of work, and it can be frustrating and consuming - but these little tactics really help -- so when my children are in bed, or occupied in the morning, I can simply throw the laundry on to wash - fold and put away right away --- I can finish filling the dishwasher and put it on to wash -- etc etc. Routine and consistency has really helped.

But I wont lie, it can get hectic! And if I dont keep up, i get very far behind very fast!!



Maybe you need to set a bit of a schedule/routine where certain times are set aside for certain things. 1) clean up 2)activity time with kids 3)naptime/quiet time 4) play time 5)movie time 6)meal times --etc. etc.



I wish you the best, and wish you luck in getting your housework/kids time/and your time manageable for you!



-Take care,

Veronica

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Motherjournalist4Him - posted on 06/29/2013

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My grandmother used to say, "A housewife's work is never done." I AGREE. Naturally you feel overwhelmed. You are a wise mommy to plug away at the household duties while your kids are asleep or napping. I bet you also already prioritizing. That is my best advise:prioritize, do the best you can, but also absolutely SCHEDULE in a little play time. Maybe 15 minutes or 30 minutes a day with each child, and seek to make routines FUN. Learn from the women around you, and any resource you come across...l how to bring song, humor, fun, games and cheer into your home so that even if Mom is busy with work, she is sunshine in the home, and the children are happy. God bless you.

Sara - posted on 01/31/2013

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lol that's exactly how I feel, it's hard to get a good routine and sometimes "stay at home mom" means chef, cleaning lady, referee, seamstress, chauffeur and laundry mat and we forget to be the Mom part of it. The only way I could actually get playtime and being an actual mom was to go on a strict routine which I only did after starting a dayhome.

Jeni - posted on 02/17/2010

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I only have 1 son (7months) and to answer your question No i dont, You sound like your trying to be the infamous Superwoman, My house at first glance is clean but i only do a proper clean once a week, i make my partners lunches the day before and i have pre made frozen foods for my lil man :) i dont know how but i even managed to paint and renovate while my son was napping.

The best advice i ever got is NO ONE is perfect, Your house DOESNT have to be clean and Housework will always be there later :D

Enjoy Your children coz they wont be little forever x

[deleted account]

Hey to all ladies in this post :) I read through and it's so good to know that i am deffinately not alone and have some cleaning disorder lol...i have 3 children, 8,4 and 1yr old and although my house is immaculate i do find that cooking and cleaning and constant going around picking up things is hard!..my children also spend most of their time in ther pj's, but until summer comes around again i suppose that's not a bad thing as the 2 older children play computer games and like to watch movies, If they wanted my attention then i would give it ( maybe a game or a silly singing dancing contest between us). I think that because as a parent you feel you should be giving 24/7 to your child, it makes you feel bad, but i have found that letting my children do things that are educational aswell as fun by themselves or together gives you that extra half hour or so to get those dishes from the night before last done! In my opinion, if your children are happy and you can get things done inbetween then there is no need to fret about your children not having enough of you ;) we are not octopuses and if anyone feels like they don't spend as much time with their child at the end of the day then make sure to make up for it the next day...: )

Becky - posted on 02/17/2010

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Mum's don't ever have enough hours in the day!! I'm a totall CLEAN freak! I either get up before the kids and do washing dusting lunches blah blah blah....I have 3 kids, 10, 7 and 10 months, once they are off to school I feed little miss and then put her down to play and then rush around doing the rest of my jobs, once they are done, it's usually around 9 ish, I have my shower then Miss come's into my room with me and we get dressed, by then she is ready to be fed and put back to bed for her morning sleep, and THEN it is ME time and I can spend the rest of the day doing what ever it is I need to all with a clean house, Once the boys get home from school it's all go again, You might find dinner times easier if you make your meals ahead of time ie lasagne can be made in the morning all ready to be heated@ dinner time when you need it, same with bacon and egg pies and mac n cheese, gezz the list goes on! lol
Good luck!!!

[deleted account]

Yes I feel the same way...I have a 4,2,&1 yr olds... if I take time to play, I dont get anything else done, but if I dont play I feel guilty like im ignoring them! I've been trying to involve them in the chores, which can be a hassle, but is deffinately a good learning experience for all!

Gina - posted on 02/17/2010

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Thank you for all who responded too this! That really helps. Yeah, I need to stop and take time to play with the kids on the floor or play a game with my son when my daughter is napping so we have some son and mom time. When he gets home from school then I try to do something with him. It is hard when it is winter and can't really go outside if it is so cold and you can't do anything with the snow. Can't wait until spring/summer. :)

Veronica - posted on 02/17/2010

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Just keep this in mind -- if you have to let the dishes/laundry or whatever else go for a day or two - just so you can spend quality time with your children - do NOT beat yourself up for it. We aren't super women - and our children are going to remember us as being a part of their lives - not how dirty the house was!! Our children are just that, for a short time - before we will know it, they will be grown, and you will be LOOKING for things to do around the house - perhaps you will make a mess just so you have something to clean!! hehehehe



Take it lightly, and cherish your children first and foremost before the housework. If hubby gets crabby about the house - show him the broom and the cleaning products, etc. - and tell him to have at it!!



-Take care, V

Amber - posted on 02/17/2010

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ur arent the only one! It seems busy all the time , sometimes i let a day of something go like laundry or something Lazy day ! LOL my hubby dont mind if i dont do laundry one day or so, we have enough clothes to last us , sometimes i just take it easy and play with my lil man! Dont get me wrong it can be overwhelming sometimes but its the best ur at home with ur child taking care of ur kids but its the best:) good luck just ask someone to help u sometimes my sister comes and helps me out sometimes and play with my son while i can go take a shower

Jennifer - posted on 02/17/2010

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yes I can relate! I have a three 1/2 month old son and I feel like its a either or situation -- either i feed him, hold him, and take him potty all day OR i get chores such as laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc done. I am hoping a healthy medium will come when I get a better rhythm going everyday.

Ashley - posted on 02/17/2010

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hi i know your pain lol i have 2 daughter 27 months and 9 months old i feel like the cleaning is never done and if i sit down andplay with them nothing else gets done by the time i get them to nap if by chance its at the same time i just wanna cuddle up on the couch and sleep to lucky for me my fiance isnt to bad when it comes to the house cleaning he will do it if i ask but of course i have to ask a few times but dishes he hates so yea i feel like all im ever doing is dishes and cleaning

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