Do SAHMs ever get a break? How do you do this?

M. Rose - posted on 09/16/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Hi, I'm new to this SAHM thing, my son is 7mos today and it's been crazy. Started out with colic and loads of screaming, then at 4 months we moved, which was so hard with him. When his colic went away then he got eczema, which I'm still trying to figure out but it's better. HE WAS BRIGHT RED and bleeding... it was severe. But even though it's better (I think b/c I don't have dairy anymore), I'm still confused on what to do with him all day! My husband and I chose for me to stay home before we even married and I was joyed with the idea, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I'm lonely (we only have one car and b/c he leaves at 5:30am, it's easier just to let him go most days than to pack up the babe that early). Sometimes I try to be the perfect wife and mom, and some days the house is just a mess.

How do I get a break? Is there such a thing? Everyday for this long is driving me up a wall... I do get out sometimes, and I have friends that are in the same boat, but it's still difficult because I just don't know what to do. My mom's not there for me and it's crazy just trying to figure out HOW to cook or HOW to do stuff. Praise the Lord (seriously) for the internet. Well this is a long story and I doubt anyone will know what to say, but I don't blame you.

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Jessica - posted on 09/17/2009

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i'm in a similar situation. i have an almost 1 yr old daughter and have been home ever since she was born. i also have a 5 yr old who just started kindergarten. we only have 1 car and my husband works 6 days a week, leaving mid morning and not getting home until 10 at night. so sometimes days get long! this summer we kept busy by playing outside and walking to our local kiddie pool and park. we have taken the bus occasionally, which my 5 yr old thinks is just as much fun as where we end up. we actually met quite a few other kids/parents by going to the park on a regular basis. i feel that there is never any real break except after i get the kiddos to bed, but by that time i'm nearly ready for bed myself, so that i can get up and do it all again. some days i feel that all the straightening up and cleaning up are a complete waste of time because within a half hour there is another disaster to clean up. but i think as time goes by it will get a little easier. my 5 yr old is a great help with her sister and with helping me clean up, so i try to enjoy my time with them as much as possible knowing that it will go by way too fast.

[deleted account]

I thought the first post was good. Make FULL use of the short time you have with your baby and teach him everything you can! A good book is "Slow and Steady Get Me Ready". It has activities you can do with your child from birth to 4 yrs. Also, do you have good books to read yourself? I am a book addict. Even though I have three kids and one more on the way, I CRAVE time to read and the sad part is, most of it is instructional stuff- cookbooks, sewing, raising kids, etc.
Another thing- the first post said to do things while your baby naps- that's assuming your baby naps regularly- a good book to read (in that spare time of course!) is "Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo. Didn't read it until my first child was 9 months but it saved my life!
I'm not big on playdates and activities- as in the kids don't need it, but every now and then you do! I go to town once a week for errands, and I do something with the girls about once a month. Also getting out of the house on the weekend for some family time helps too. SO plan ahead and take the car every once in a while!
Lastly, something I learned from my mom- when you just can't take it anymore- find some CRAZY hillbilly music, turn it WAY up, let the neighbors think you HAVE lost it, and dance with your baby til you're exhausted. Don't know if it's the music, the fun, or the physical exercise, but it helps! :)

Stephanie - posted on 09/16/2009

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I'm the same way. We have one car, hubby needs it for work and I stay home with the kidlets. It's been this way for 7 years. :) I do go a little nutty from time to time. but like Lisa said, take walks, go to the park, swim(we live in an apartment...). Also, hand baby over to hubby once or twice a week and go do something you like. Do you have a hobby? Do you like sports? I don't know, something. Sat. mornings I go to knitting group--although I crochet. Sunday afternoons I go grocery shopping alone. :) It's wonderful. sunshine, freedom and friendship. and best yet, refreshed for the week ahead.

[deleted account]

Take walks, go to the park, play, sing, read, and nap when they nap or clean. 7 months is a good age. They are not just laying there like a NEWborn, but not up and running around yet either. You are able to keep them in one place for a little while. Reading is so important, but even just talking or singing to them. Show them things and repeat what it is. Start on ABC's, or 123's. Get some Little Einstein cards and work with them. They really can learn a lot at that age so take advantage before the back talking and tantrums start! -- Search communities on here for something near you. You may find some other moms and able to have play dates, not just for the kids either. It is hard being a SAHM. I have a 26 month old and a 4 month old and been home now for almost 27 months. I was pretty clueless with my daughter and now my daughter somewhat entertains my little one. He is only 4 months so it's a little hard yet for her. - I live in the burbs of Chicago and there are TONS of things to do, but the playground is a FREE great alternitive for my daughter. She runs around, meets other kids, we meet other parents. -- I understand about the car thing. Well, one or two days a week, get up and keep the car so you can have some transportation and go and do some things. -- Wait til you little one is walking and running around. Then you will be busy chasing and babyproofing. -- It does get better, HONESTLY. And if for some reason it doesn't, is there a chance you could go back to work and have your hubby try it out for a while??? - I hope I helped a little at least!

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Melissa - posted on 09/17/2009

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I'm a SAHM of 3 boys under the age of 5 years old. Life is pretty routine here in my house. We only go out if I really need something or I'll wait until my husband's days off to get out of the house. Taking 3 kids out by myself is exhausting.

The only time I get a break is when my younger 2 boys are napping or when it's bedtime. You gotta make time for yourself cause if not..you'll just be a wreck.

M. Rose - posted on 09/17/2009

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Thanks everyone! Julia for the relaxing stds - I need that. Holly for the books, Stephanie for the hobby idea, Lisa for the teaching (which I love to teach and read books, but once I could read them, now he will grab at them put them in his mouth or turn the pages! so it's hard to read to him now). I will figure out some things thanks so much for all the ideas!! Anymore, plz post.

Julia - posted on 09/17/2009

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You are going to have to MAKE time for yourself. If you don't value your time, your husband surely won't. Tell your husband that you need to take a few hours JUST TO BE YOU.

Realize that as long as you have children, your house will NEVER be clean the way you want it to be. There will always be some mess that needs cleaning, some toys that need to put away, some clothes that need to be washed, etc. I have found that if I relax my standards just a little, I have more peace in my day.



I hope these suggestions help. If you are looking to make some extra money (maybe to buy that 2nd car you need) send me a message.



Julia

Jacqueline - posted on 09/17/2009

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When I get fed up I take walks with them, whether it be to the market around to corner or the playground down the street. Then I make sure to take an hour for myself (even without my husband) after they go to bed. Everyone needs "me time" even SAHM's

[deleted account]

Hi there,firstly i know where you are coming from sahm is the hardest job in the world..Not 2 sure if you have anything near you within walking distance, but i take my 3 year old to playgroups, there we have both found some friends,good for baby and good for mum..



Maybe catch the bus ?? which i know would be hard but at least you can get out,maybe walk there?? I found excercise help me a lot i feel so much better if i do a really good walk. You are doing a great job and should be proud of yourself...Hope this has helped..:-)

[deleted account]

The only time I had alone with 4 kids 7 and under was when they went to bed. LOL Now that they are all older, they are gone during the day at school. Life gets chaotic after they all get home and need to go to their activities.

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