do u recieve fs or pa?

BROOKE - posted on 05/08/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Are any of you sahm on fs or pa? What is your opion about being able to say home and recieve help?

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Jennifer - posted on 05/14/2012

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I have thought about this long and hard, and here is my opinion. I am a stay at home mom, because my job as a mom is to raise my kids. They need me. At one point I did work, and life was so hectic. My kids were confused as to which rules to follow, because they were being shipped to different grandmas' houses while I went to work. I view being a stay at home mom as a full time job. I am a care giver, teacher, and the rock that is the foundation my kids need to build their life upon. No, it doesn't give me a monitary paycheck every week, but the benefits outweigh any amount of money a "job" can provide. I started working when I was 16 in a factory during the summer, then fast food during school, and ultimately an STNA in a nursing home. I worked up until the age of 26. Once all my children are in school, I will begin working again. So, the way I see it is if we need a little help in between that time, I'm all for it. I have always said it takes a community to raise a child, so once I do begin working again, I will be happy to "foot the bill" for another mom so that she can be home with her kids.

Leekeisha - posted on 05/20/2012

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What about the people with 2 jobs and government assistance. Should they be able to afford everything without help. I try not to be so judgmental because you don't know people situation and there reason for staying home. Now without a college degree its difficult to find a decent job, and depending on the amount of kids daycare will eat you alive.

[deleted account]

We get medical help from the state. But we'd have to even if I did work. So no, I don't feel guilty about it. For some reason people have it in their heads that working will always make you more money. But with kids and all of the expenses that goes with working, it just isn't worth it sometimes. Honestly we'd need more help if I worked than by me not working. Gas, clothes, bus passes, child care. It would cost us so much more than I could ever make working.

Shantelle - posted on 05/10/2012

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I agree with Nicole. Even if both people in the house hold work , that little bit could help. They go based off your income anyways so its not like they just chuck the same amount to everyone all willy nilly. If you need cash assistance then I suggest trying to get a job even if its from home. But not everyone has the same living situations so if getting fs will help you out for a little while, then do what you have to do. And by the time they ask if you want to reapply you might not even need it again. Think about what YOU think is right for family not what other people think you should be doing. Alot of people just base opinion on stereotype.

[deleted account]

I want to start out by saying I am not trying to be argumentative, just offer a different viewpoint from personal experience. That being said, I would completely disagree with the previous responses. Everyone's situation is unique and sometimes being a sahm mom is the best way financially. For example, in my particular case, I was working and it wasn't enough. DH and I were both looking for better jobs. We have NO ONE we know who can watch our kids on a regular basis and after looking into the cost of daycare found that it costs more than I was making. So to break even we had to either alternate shifts or one of us work two jobs while the other stays home. My DH was making more than me, then found a new job that also offered higher pay than me while I still couldn't find anything that would even pay as much as where I was. I then lost my job due to downsizing, and DH picked up the new job and kept his old job, so I now stay home. Even though I love being a stay at home mom, I do continue to search job ads but have found nothing with enough pay to combat the cost of childcare. We currently receive Medicaid and just recently had to go get on FS. We hope this to be temporary as DH is long overdue on a raise that was promised and has been promoted. But my point is, it is misinformed to say that if you're to the point of needing government help you SHOULD go get a job. For one, it's not always that easy. Needing a job doesn't ensure someone will hire you. And beyond that, sometimes one parent HAS to stay home with the kids if that's the only way to come out ahead financially.

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[deleted account]

I do look at it as a choice. Sure I check the classifieds every week for that "miracle" high-paying job to pop up, but I'm happy to stay home. And I did CHOOSE to stay home really, because childcare costs are higher than typical wages in our area. Additionally, we have some other unique circumstances that would make it very difficult for us to work overlapping shifts. Really what I was trying to get at is that we just can't say what anyone else "should" do or judge them, because we don't know all the ins and outs of their situation. Or their finances, or what resources are or aren't available to them to be able to just go get a job. (Obviously you know more of their situation when you know them personally and KNOW they have the resources they need and just aren't using them.) And while it is very humbling (shameful, to me...case in point, lots of people look down on you without the facts) to have to accept any sort of assistance, I have to remind myself that it is there for a reason. I and my DH paid into that system for years, and DH is currently paying into it with two jobs. And even when we don't need it anymore we will still be paying into it the rest of our lives, which will in turn help others who need it. Some people most definitely do take advantage of the system, I agree. But I don't think it's as clear cut as saying anyone who is on assistance and chooses to be a SAHM is taking advantage of it. Sometimes staying home is just the most financially beneficial choice. We made the responsible choice for OUR situation, though it probably doesn't always seem so from the outside. And at this point I know there's no way we could afford for me to work. I would also point out, we ARE still a two-income family, same as those families where the husband and wife both work. We chose a different division of labor than most families, with my husband working both jobs and me doing almost EVERYthing at home. That's what we both agreed on and what works best for our family. So I can understand the other side of the argument better when speaking of families where mom stays home but COULD work, and dad has one job. When you're broke there HAS to be extra effort put in (as much as it sucks) to pull your family out of it. And when there's not, THAT is when I think you're milking the system.

Tabitha - posted on 05/10/2012

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Nicole, that situation is a bit different. You're looking for a job, not just deciding to stay home then expecting someone else to pick up the tab. You're not coming out ahead if the government is paying the way.

I have nothing against anyone that needs assistance. I've needed it before. If you can't find a job, by all means, please get assistance to help while you're looking. But to CHOOSE to stay home when you can't really afford it, then getting assistance, is not right.

Medic - posted on 05/08/2012

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I have to agree with Tabitha. If you could not afford to stay home then you should not have stayed home. Now if both parents are working and trying and still need help then fine. Pa and FS are ment to be a hand up not a hand out. If you are truely trying to change your situation and the end outcome is not needing the assistance then that is what they are for. If you are content to stay on them just to be able to live how you want then I feel that is abuse of the system.

Tabitha - posted on 05/08/2012

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If a family needs FS or PA then being a "stay at home mom" shouldn't be an option. Most families are struggling just to make ends meet with 2 incomes. Why should someone who obviously can't afford to take care of their family without FS or PA be able to sit at home while others are forced to work? I don't have a problem with people that NEED FS or PA, if they're doing everything they can to support their family and it just happens to not be enough. A parent should only choose to be a sahm if their family can afford it on one income. Why should the taxpayers have to support that family too if both parents aren't willing to work? That's my opinion anyway.

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