do you depend on people

Beth - posted on 02/18/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hello Does any one ever feel like they need to depend on someone? When I was in my teens like 16-20 I felt very independ. I walked to work never really asked for a ride. Well my ex use to drive if we went some where but when it came to working and stuff I got there on my own.... Well I started drving about 2 years ago. But I dont get out that much so I still dont drive like the average person. I am a stay at home mom of 2 and I babysit. So its to hard to take all 3 of them some where right now.

Now when I get out most of the time its with my husband. Like to the store and to the bowl and other places that we go. And he always drives. Well the other day I took my daughter to target to return some things and to the store to renturn the red box movie and I felt so out of place like... Not sure i like to do things on my own any more. I just wanted to know if any of you other moms feel the same way. I feel lost some times.... In fact I did get lost going to my dads last night. I had to meet my husband there and I was almost to the poin of calling him and telling him to come to me....

8 Comments

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Halli - posted on 02/23/2009

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Don't let that stop you, just relax and say tomorrow is another day. Try doing little things for yourself like taking a candlelit bubble bath with soothing music after the kids are in bed... Lets us feel like a healthy woman. Make sure to take the kids toys out of site

Beth - posted on 02/23/2009

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so i went out on on satuday I was taking my daughter to dance and on the way there i side swiped a truck.... everyone is ok. I was so happy to go out on my own and now look what happen!

Kelly - posted on 02/21/2009

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It's sometimes the things that you don't want to do that give you the best surprises!! My two are a little older (8 and 5) and generally easier to take somewhere. It does get to the point that you enjoy their conversation and input on stuff. I do however like getting out without them because I can do things so much faster!



I find that I rely on my friends and family more for sanity and emotional support. I can use them in a pinch for things like babysitting. I am comforted by knowing that I can email one friend at her desk if I'm having a crisis moment and she can offer her outlook.



 

Traci - posted on 02/21/2009

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I use to feel that way until my husband deployed 3 different times...and I had to do stuff on my own and just trust my judgement on things. The more you do on your own; taking all kids with you, getting help when needed, and ect you will get more confident that you can handle it all.



At least that is what has happened with me.

Beth - posted on 02/21/2009

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hello to all you moms who have read this. Today my husband has to work so I am taking our daughter to dance this moring then going to come back home and feed the kids and then get them ready to go to their aunts while I go bowling by myself. I wasn't going to go but I was thinking I always get held back when i want to do something and my husband is not there.... So today am going by myself!!!!! Wish my husband could be there but at the same time am doing something for me!

JESS - posted on 02/18/2009

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I believe motherhood is as humbling as it is empowering. Im not nearly as swamped as you so far who have written. I am a first time mom of a 7 month old. Let me tell you, I was super independent. I had to swallow a lot of "pride" after my 26-hour labor that ended in emergency c-section for my 10 lb baby boy. My husband worked 5 hours away 2 weeks at a time; I had no choice BUT to ask for help. And Im looking forward to our second one (hopefully in the making soon) but I will definately not shy away help if offered.

User - posted on 02/18/2009

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I used to feel the same way. I have 3 girls, 4 yrs. 2 yrs. and 6 months and it is extremely difficult going anywhere with them. We just bought a minivan last May, so before then I didn't even have the option to go anywhere because my husband used our only car to go to work. So I was at home, alone, with my 2 girls (at that time it was only 2). But now my 4 year old goes to preschool 3 days a week and I have no choice but to take all 3 kids out, even when raining/snowing. I also started going to the store with all 3, just for a few items. But I make sure never to truly depend on anyone but myself. My friend has 2 girls around the same age as mine and relies on her sister and mother for everything. And I don't think that's healthy...for anyone involved. You cannot lose your sense of self or your independence, especially when you have small children. My girls rely on me for everything, and it wouldn't be fair to them if I couldn't raise them without help from someone else (besides my husband). I remember I used to walk around like in a daze because I didn't know where I belonged, where I "fit in." I hated feeling like that. I joined a gym and make an effort to go everyday when my husband's home. I get to go out by myself, have adult conversations, maybe make a quick stop at a store, and feel like a member of society. Plus, I'm losing weight!

Julie - posted on 02/18/2009

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I know exactly how you feel! it is to hard to take both kids out by your self! I have a 2 year old and a 11 month old and it takes everything out of me just to get them to the doctor! So yes I depend on people to help. Its like they say it takes a VILLAGE to raise a child! I really can't remember the last time I did something on my own! Well there have been occasions where he will take the kids so I can do some shopping!

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