Do you ever get the impression that people think you stay at home because you are weak emotionally?

Rebecca - posted on 10/24/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I recently had someone "encourage" me by saying,"You can do it! I'm a mom 24 hours a day, but I also work. It IS possible." It bothered me, because I don't feel that working is somehow better, and it's not that I don't think I could do it, it's that I think it's better to be at home. Do people talk to you this way?

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Erica - posted on 10/25/2009

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I totally understand you as sometimes i catch some remarks of inlaws and other people as well as if i'm not capable of working and looking after my kids at the same time. In my case i used to work since my first one was one and as i worked in a childrens daynursery she was there fulltime with me. When i was pregnant with my second i was also working but after given birth i decided it was best to be a stay at home mum as there were lots of factors coming in between raising up our kids and employment. As a Supervisor in the nursery i was expected to make long shifts,staying late for meetings,spending so much time on daily/weekly and monthly plannings and at a point there was just no time for my daughter who has entered primary school neither with my son whom was a baby and just spending full days with a childminder so i handed in my notice. Lots of people had their own opions as they thought maybe i couldn't cope or something but my decision was based on my childrens opbringing. I wanted to be there for them and spend quality time with them and that is something money just cannot raplace. My hubby also had a difficult shift thruout so he wasn't spending time with them so i feel like it was the best decision i've made. I've been home for a year now and i bring my daughter to school and i'm here for her after school to help her with her homework (which is a lot)and my son is having the time of his life as he's spending good time with me and i'm teaching him alot from home. It used to bother me when people think and voice their comments as if i can't cope or maybe i'm weak but now i feel like i'm more smart then them because it's just very good to be there for your children especially when they are so young. I have a routine at home and it works well,so i would say don't bother much about what people think you have to do what you feel is best for your children and what works for your family.

Myra - posted on 10/24/2009

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lol...gotta love those "liberated" people out there that. They probably didn't mean that you were weak because you don't work. They probably just don't see the wonder of what women like you, me, and all the others in this group do. Being a mom in the home...and only a mom with no job outside the home...is a 24/7 job.

You have nothing to prove to anyone about what you do. You don't need the "encouragement" because women like us ARE moms 24/7. Women that work get to put that mom thing aside and let someone else be the "parent" while they are at work. ...That's a full-time employee, and part-time mom.

Both holding a job or staying at home are a choice (even if it doesn't feel that way). Women who work seem to think they are better than us who stay home. Just look at the children that are the product of that choice...you (and the rest of us who stay home) are doing the right thing! :)

Rebecca - posted on 10/24/2009

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Jill, I agree with you. I think preschools are such a big thing because a lot of parents aren't taking the time to teach their children numbers and colors and because kids don't play outside much anymore.

I have a teaching degree, and I plan to for sure keep my kids at home for preschool, maybe even kindergarten. Why would I go to work teaching other children when I can just teach my own?

Heather - posted on 10/24/2009

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I'm a stay at home Mom because I want to be. My husband has a work schedule that keeps him away from home a lot, and I think the girls need me more because of that. I'm not weak. Being a Mom 24 hours a day is hard, and very rewarding. If I wanted to work, I could in 2 seconds flat, I choose not to, I choose to be the person that makes it all better.

Jill - posted on 10/24/2009

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i am a stay at home mom because working is not compatible with my husbands schedule....but the one thing i hate is when people tell me to put my kids in pre school.... i am a stay at home mom who is perfectly capable of teaching my kids everything they need to learn for kindergarten. as for the socialization.. they get that when they play with kids outside... sorry for the ranting....

Jill - posted on 10/24/2009

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i am a stay at home mom because working is not compatible with my husbands schedule....but the one thing i hate is when people tell me to put my kids in pre school.... i am a stay at home mom who is perfectly capable of teaching my kids everything they need to learn for kindergarten. as for the socialization.. they get that when they play with kids outside... sorry for the ranting....

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