Do you ever just feel like you need some You? Venting...

Tarri - posted on 09/24/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

26

0

9

I am a sahm of 3 ages 4 2 1 and I am pregnant with my 4th. Believe me when I say my hands are tied behind my back. I love my children with all of my being and I feel like I over compensate for everyone as a mother sister, wife, daughter, friend, just everywhere in every aspect of my life I AM the "Go TO". Now like I mentioned I am pregnant with my 4th and I am just tired. I am still in my first trimester, I'm tired, I'm nauseous all the time, and I'm moody as hell. I Have no help. Hubby works day in day out. The only time I get a break, is lets say these 10 mins I am getting while my kids eat their night time snack all strapped up in their seats at the table. I just want to run off the planet sometimes just for a moment of quiet. I need some ME. Do you ever feel like you just need some you? Can you relate?I feel like i am consumed by my parasite, and by these leeches and everyone is sucking off of me while I can only do minimum for myself.In order to get a little outlet I have started vlogging on youtube again, but i'm almost over that too because my videos sound like Stop. Don't. Quit. Wait. "Screaming"... Yeah ... editing takes a lot to get what I do get :/ Welp I'm finished the kids are done and it's time to try and get them down for bed. ttys

2 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

I can relate, I've felt like that before, and I learned that it's always okay to say "NO" from those difficult years.

I only have one kid. It was that first year that I felt like I completely lost "me". I was struggling with a sick baby, finding that balance between working a very demanding job and fulfilling my role as wife and homemaker, while still maintaining my friendships and other social obligations with my family. Then one day, my MIL called to ask if I could make a rather involved cake I was known for making for her Christmas gathering, and I said, "No, I don't have time to make that." And she was fine with it. In fact, she was more than fine with it, she told me a store bought cake or any simple dessert would be wonderful, then offered to come over and play with J while I tooks some time for myself to sit in the garden and read a book. BEST MIL EVER!!!!!

That was probably the first time in my life that I've ever told anyone "no" when asked for help. Now I do it all the time. For example, I'm not volunteering at our school carnival this year, I'm not class mom, SEEDs mom, or AR mom. I help when I have time, and politely decline when I don't.

I've also learned to ask for help from the people I help. I cared for my parents the year J was born, both were very ill and in different hospitals on and off that whole year (Of course, I owed them that for giving me life and raising me anyway, but they were thankful regardless of whether or not they were "owed" and now they are well, and the don't mind at all watching J for me on the weekends so that hubby & I can have a date.
I have a wonderful friend in my neighborhood who was homebound for a few months. When I was out, I would call and asked if she needed me to pick anything up from the store for her, and now she does the same for me. Even though neither of us are homebound, it saves tons of time, energy, and gas money not having to make an extra trip to the store when you realize you are out of cheese midweek.

So, all that to say, don't be afraid to say NO, and don't be afraid to ask the people you've helped to help you out once in a while.

Christina Leigh - posted on 09/24/2013

16

0

3

I can definitely relate to that I'm also a sham of six lol yeah my oldest 18 just left a week ago for the army my other children are 3,8,10, 16, and 17. My three youngest are my husband and I bios and the older three are adopted but still mine :) my husband also works away 2 weeks gone at a time so yes u do need u time we all do sometimes u have to just find it. Or we'll take it. When UR hubby comes home lock urself in the bathroom and take a long deserved bubble bath hell have no choice but to take care of them. Ask a friend or family member to watch the kids for a few hours if possible. I know it's hard having kids of different ages cause they don't nap at the same times or at all anymore for that matter and expecting on top of that is worse. Have you thought of any community play groups that you can take your none school going children to for a few hours throughout the day while the school aged kids are in school. That may be a thought for alone time. I hoped this helped I don't have a lot of alone time Myself

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms