Do you find that you are a more relaxed mother with your second (or each subsequent child)?

Alicia - posted on 04/16/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My second son is about to turn one. I also have a 4-year old preschooler. My husband finds it increasingly hilarious how much more I've relaxed with kid #2. For example, I was always hyper-aware of germs, dirt, dangers for kid #1 - it's a miracle I didn't spontaneously combust from all of my constant worrying!! With kid #2, I cart him around barefoot (that was previously a no-no) , set him down & let him crawl places I never would with #1, let him explore his surroundings without "hovering", etc.

Is this the case for you?? Do you think it's just a natural progression now that we're "seasoned" moms?? Are there things you would never have allowed with baby #1 but find yourself shrugging off with baby #2 (or #3, etc.)?

Would love to know how other moms of 2 or more kiddos have changed...

8 Comments

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Crystal - posted on 04/18/2010

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ABSOLUTELY! I am exactly the same way, and I think it's bad, at least for me! My son was the first, and he's not the typical "boy" where he likes to get dirty... that was pretty much just me not wanting to have to clean him up. lol But my daughter on the other hand, she's our second, and she's everywhere and into everything, and she falls and explores everything he never did .. of course because i let her. So I definitely now "see the light" in having to let them explore and get down and dirty, and just be a kid. Kids get hurt, scrape their knees, hands, get bruised up, etc... as much as you try and prevent it... it's going to happen anyways, so may as well let them have fun! :D I'm still cautious about certain "dangers" but I'm definitely not as overprotective of both of them anymore. We live and learn.

Catherine - posted on 04/17/2010

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Yes I am more realxed with my second child. I definetly was a "hover mom" with my 1st! It's just that we've learned!

Cynthia - posted on 04/17/2010

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I use the explanation that with my first child I walked on pins and needles to try and do everything just perfectly, by the time my fifth child was born I was so relaxed, he could juggle knives (metaphorically) and I would be fine.

Gina - posted on 04/17/2010

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I think most moms get better with each kid.I have 2 and I am most deffinatly more easy going with the 2nd. But as I let more slide with the baby, I find myself getting more irritated with her older sister's action.Don't do that!,put it back,it belongs to sissy,please be more quiet,it might wake up baby sister. things like that.
Big sis gets tons of good praise,but i think i get on to her more now too.

Val - posted on 04/16/2010

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I have 4 kids, ages 2-13 years....and yes, I have relaxed more with each child! I no longer worry about all the little things and that makes it so much easier to enjoy my children. That's probably what I have enjoyed the most about my 3rd and 4th child...just being able to relax and enjoy them without all the stress and worry that we put on ourselves with the first two.

My mother-in-law laughs at me because with the first child I wrote out pages of notes when she watched our daughter...when to feed her, change her, how to best entertain her, how to get her to sleep, you name it...I had it covered in my notes. (like she has no idea what to do with a baby, lol) With the 2nd child, the notes were still there but much shorter. With the 3rd child, I'd give a few verbal notes such as when she had last eaten or diaper changed. With the 4th child, nothing! It was a pass and go...fend for yourself! LOL

Found a great cartoon once that talked about this very phenomenon...the mom was talking to the dad about how they used to spoon-feed everything to baby #1. Baby #2 they would monitor every bite, but let him feed himself. And then baby #3, they toss tiny bits of food on his tray and let him fend for himself. So the dad asks, do you think we're not paying enough attention to the third baby? And the mom says, no, I think we wasted a lot of effort on the first two! LOL...I love it...so true!!

Christina - posted on 04/16/2010

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yea i believe so i am like that everything my first son couldnt have at this age my 2nd lil boy has had already & same thing here about the shoes & crawlin part lol

Donna - posted on 04/16/2010

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god yes i got 3 kids 7 and under with the 1st i had to have everything perfect and kept everything to the books (even waking her to feed her!!) by the third i realised they soon let you know if somethings wrong and that a little dirt, food etc is nothng to worry about that how they learn to quote my mum a dirty kids a happy kid .

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