Do you get frustrated when you don't get breaks away from baby?

Leia - posted on 07/09/2011 ( 36 moms have responded )

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I feel like a horrible person because I get so tense and angry. I am with my son 24/7 with zero time for any friends, quiet time to myself, or just a night with no baby around.

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Raven - posted on 07/11/2011

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Oh girl, I take care of my two daughters on my own. And I would just like to say this, they are no walk in the park. I don't know where I went wrong, or if it was even me ( it could have been their father jumping in & out of their lives ), but they are screamers. They scream & cry about the littlest things. They are always up my butt & want me to hold them ( they're both mommy's girls, again, with their dad being a douche, that's understandable. ). & they are ALWAYS fighting over me. Oh man, they are just. I love them to death, but they're buttheads. Lol. We have good days sometimes, but it's maybe once a week anymore. I don't have much help either, my parents won't watch them, because of their attitudes & the screaming. My boyfriend works 6 days a week, and on his day off, he ain't even thinking about doing anything but sleeping. Lol. So, I know how you feel. And I feel horrible for wanting to run away from them, just for a day... Two would be better. Lol. But, as moms, we gotta push forward, no matter the circumstance. Mom's are probably the most emotionally/mentally strong individuals known to man kind.

Anyway, I'm babbling. Lol. You're not the only one. :) Hopefully you find some relief soon. ( And me too. =P )

Brittany - posted on 07/11/2011

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I go through stages of this. My son just turned 6 months. He just got teeth and they are still pushing through and causing serious havic on the poor kid! He's hardly sleeping during the day which runs me down because I need that time to just relax or do something some days. So I understand. I think I got to get hubby to do more sometimes, but baby is breastfed and has issues with bottles and isn't quite ready for a sippy cup.

Julie - posted on 07/10/2011

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i feel the same, especially now that i have a 6 month old and a 3.5 yr old. the oldest has lots of mood swings which frustrate me heaps.

Lukithia - posted on 07/10/2011

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Do not feel guilty because you need a break from the baby. Even God rested on the 7th day. You need to take time to yourself. To socialize, sleep, exercise, whatever. I pray you have family or friends who will give you that time by keeping the baby. When you feel frustrated some times make sure baby is safe, dry and full and go sit on the porch or take a bath. My sons pediatrician always said, "he won't die from crying a few extra minutes. You must take care of yourself in order to successfully take care of anyone else.

Jennifer - posted on 07/12/2011

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My best advice for you is to try these things I once read in a book. It really helps me to keep my cool and make me feel as if I had control in my life:

1. What have I done in my world today?
2. What have I done for myself today?
3. What have I done for my family today?

They don't have to be big. The "world" means your environment. What have you done to help clean it or organize it? The self thing is important. If there's a book you've been dying to read, try to read at least the first chapter or just for five minutes while your little one is playing or watching a show. Some days the thing for myself is just that I was able to take a shower. And the family thing is simple too, take your child to the library, read a book, or play hide-and-seek.
My family is far away too but the friends I have made here are priceless. Join a playgroup if you can. You'll find that most Moms feel this way, and can learn from their ideas and suggestions. You are not alone.

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Heather - posted on 07/16/2014

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thats normal i have a 15 year old special needs son and i get frustrated all the time when i get cranky my hubby takes him for a few hours we call it father son time i don't get to do any thing but have alone time but it helps

Veronica - posted on 06/28/2014

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I understand completely. I never get a break. EVER. I love my son but it's 24/7. He won't let me work on my computer or read. He kept wanting to breastfeed to the point that I had to start weaning him. Sometimes I get so frustrated that either want to scream or cry. I don't have any support system. He's 11 months old and I can count the amount of times I've had breaks on one hand. And I don't know if it even counts because it was for like an hour maybe two.

Kat - posted on 07/13/2011

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Similar situation. What has really made a difference in helping me relax and get some "me time" in my day is investing in an Ipod (or similar device). My son gets to play and do his "thing" but I don't have to listen to his music or TV. I can listen to what I like and be accessibly to my son and mobile so I can get things done.

Sandy - posted on 07/12/2011

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YES! You need to find YOU time, even if it's only one hour a week at the grocery store buying groceries. Hang in there. Good luck.

Shamsa - posted on 07/12/2011

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I understand, I have the same situation with a terrible two and a big family I take care of. I was yelling, sometimes spanking my kid, and all my anger and frustration towards my kid was coming from other worries most of the time. Kids learn from us how to handle their emotions, and I read recently that it's not too late to curb your anger in front of your kid, you don't want him to learn to yell and show anger.

Shylo - posted on 07/12/2011

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I know how u feel i have a 3year old little girl that is with me all the time i have no time for anything else so dont feel bad when u need a break everyone needs time to themselfs

Katrina - posted on 07/12/2011

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I was that way too. I found that I need the social aspect of work & I need to feel productive. I went back to work when she was 1.5. I worked for several years & now I'm once again a SAHM. I have been very lucky to find a business that I can do from home & I can get the social & productivity satisfaction that I need. What you feel is normal, you just need to figure out what you need.

Jennifer - posted on 07/12/2011

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You are not alone in this! I feel the same way! I am a SAHM of four - if I don't get out of the house by myself a couple of times a week, I get super cranky. Luckily enough, my husband doesn't want to deal with me when I turn into mega-bitch, so he's been really good about letting me get some time to myself. Sometimes a half-hour walk is all I need...sometimes it's a full day of just doing nothing, without having to worry about the kids. Take some time for yourself - you deserve it!

[deleted account]

it's totally normal to feel like you need a break. it would be the same if you were wokring in a office or similar 24hrs. the baby doesn't stop just because you need a break. just remember that you can ask for help from your partner or family. my son has just had 2 nights with his grandma and grandpa, so i was just me and the NB cause my husband has been working and studing. it's been wonderful to ahve a little break, and i'm missing my son, he will be here in an hour, it's nice to miss him.

Natasha - posted on 07/10/2011

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Yes I do! I think it is normal though most of the time people will look at you weird if you say that outloud I honestly don't care I lose my patients go in the room for a few minutes and take a few deep breaths and get back in there. I understand you completely if I go food shopping without the kids it's like a vacation for me waxing my eyebrows is a luxuary. Just take a few minutes to yourself and breath 24/7 is a hard job but later on you will see the reward.

Constance - posted on 07/10/2011

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Leia, Keep your head up. You ae doind a really good job. We all need breathers. You have an extra stresser but you are keeping it together.
I am about of Bitchin Ladies. It is a pretty close group of moms if you would like to come join us. There is about 10 of us that are on most of the time. It is a private group so we speak very freely. But their is a lot of support and really no judgement. Just let me know.

Leia - posted on 07/10/2011

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You ladies who have 5 or more kids, you're my heros! I'd go crazy with that many! For those of you wondering where my husband is, he is at a correctional facility getting help to put his life back on track... so I'm doing it alone. Thanks for the advice! :)

Louise - posted on 07/10/2011

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we have 6 children and 1 on the way.My 4 elder children 11,8,6 and 5 are in school so in the day i only have my 1 and 2 year old during school hours.We dont have and never have had family around or near by .So i do it alone,i think we will have enough time to our selfs when they grow up.You just need to establish a good night time routine.Mine have set bed times so we get our time at night.I always think kids dont ask to be born so its nice to spend time with them.I never get time to myself ,if its not cleaning all day its cooking or homework or ironing washing ,bathing kids,changing nappies,what ever the task.I get up at 5 am and my bum wont touch a chair till 10 o clock pm,but i choose to have kids and that is how it is.Good luck with your me time

Constance - posted on 07/10/2011

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I understand the husband/boyfriend not being abe to be around at this time. my husband is living about 800 miles from us and we no hav 8 kids 19, 16, 15, 14, 12, 10, 7, and 6. I can sneak out on occasion but not for a long period of time. There are a lot of issues that we are having to deal with. Mainly the 12 yr old I just reasetlytook custody from his mom she is a herion addict and I just found out she is prostituting, but she thinks she is going to be able cme and take him so he has to be with me al the time. Even with a restraining order in place.

Just make sure that you take me time when you lay him down. Curl up with a book or just do something that you like to do for you that has nothing to do with him. If you have enouh money to get a sitter even if it is to go get your hair done then ask other moms who they use. Word of moth is great and see if they have like reading tme at that library it is another way to find outlets and alot of time you can actually trade babysitting.

Nicole - posted on 07/10/2011

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Same here....every where i go i have to take my kids...but it doesnt matter where my husband goes he never takes even 1 of our 3kids....i cant even go to the bathroom without one kid standing right in front of me or crying at the door.

Britt - posted on 07/10/2011

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When thinking about it at times, but things never got really complicated but then again my DD 17months is very mellow easy to figure out, I took at the most 5 minutes away then my DH lets me go get my hair done for a couple hours it helps relieve stress and feels good getting your hair done. It helps too since my friend graduated beauty school - so its a quick very affordable way to relax plus spend time with my friend!

Rebekah - posted on 07/10/2011

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I totally understand. I have 3 boys 9,4 and 2 years old. My husband is a truck driver so I never know if he's going to home for the night or away for a couple of days. He never wants to take more than 2 of the kids. He says he can't handle more than that. Lately I just want to scream and cry and I feel overwhelmed by them. I hope you can find someone to trust with your kids. I am really looking for a friend out here. Good Luck and keep praying to God, He will help you.

Jennifer - posted on 07/10/2011

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I feel bad too. I do get some breaks from my kids, but the time is usually used to do errands and catch up on housework. I am always craving time away from them, so I feel terrible about that. With the friends, I found new friends with kids, this way we can have playdates and such. It helps to talk to other woman that are going through the same thing as you.

User - posted on 07/10/2011

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i feel the same, i have 2 kids and all i do is spend time with them, sometimes i feel like running away, wen my husband gets home, i keave the kids with him and go to the shops, its my only way of haing a little bit of time alone....

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I live in North Carolina and almost all of my friends and family live in New York, so I hardly ever get to go out.....I do have a few friends here, but that's because our kids are friends.

[deleted account]

I have felt that way for a long time. I have 3 kids (ages 12, 9, and 4) and have been blessed to stay home with them. I was a little excited when both boys were in school full time because it meant that i would get a break....well that lasted all of 9 months because SURPRISE......I got pregnant with my daughter a month into the school year. Summers are the hardest but I know I/we will make it through.

Leia - posted on 07/10/2011

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My dad lives 300 miles away, and my mom is always working and doing her own thing.. she holds him for a few minutes sometimes, but other than that, it's really only me who does everything. I know if my dad lived closer, he'd watch him once in a while.

Katherine - posted on 07/10/2011

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Can your parents help out? Maybe watch him for a few hours so you can go out?

Leia - posted on 07/10/2011

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Thanks ladies. My husband helped but is locked up for another year or less... so right now I'm doing it alone. I like the "girls night out" idea, sounds great! Taylor--- all my friends party and stuff too, and thats never been my scene, especially now. I'm glad you all feel the same way, thank you for the advice :)

Taylor - posted on 07/09/2011

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u sound like me, my daughter is 2 years old and i have been stay at home mom for 2 years now, lost all my friends cuz they party and i stay at home mom, it is hard, if u want to talk contact me, i am looking for some moms who know exactly how i feel

Bertina - posted on 07/09/2011

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I think all mom goes thru it I know I do I would love to just have one day for a couple of hours to myself it def sucks when you don't have family that will help you out =/ you def need some girl time I would ask a family member to watch him for a couple of hours while you go out with friends or your husband or bf (:

Constance - posted on 07/09/2011

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You are not alone. You have to find some Leia time without baby. Even if it is just a relaxing hot bath so you don't have to deal with her for even 15 mins. It'd hard but hang in there.

Terin - posted on 07/09/2011

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It's normal. Maybe get a babysitter for one night? My husband gives me a "girls night out" once a week.

Mabel - posted on 07/09/2011

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We all go through this and it does get better.How old is your baby?Mine is going on three and all I hear is the MOMMY and the screaming.just take a deep breath and try to relax when the baby takes a nap or see if a family member can watch him/her for an hour or so.Good luck =)

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