Do you give your kids an allowance?

Tamara - posted on 07/08/2011 ( 28 moms have responded )

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I haven't seen this discussed yet I am wondering others take on it. I didn't want to derail the chore thread so I figured start a different one. Sorry if this has been discussed a lot.



Do you give your kids an allowance? Is it based on chores, behavior, grades? How do you determine what you give?



We do give it to our kids. It is not necessarily based on every day chores. We have the chores that help the house run smoothly, which I feel they need to learn and do to help make things run, then the extra stuff like mow, shovel snow, pick up puppy messes, load the truck to go to the dump, babysit, things out of the norm so they can earn money doing that.



There is a set $10 every pay day (every two weeks) however money is removed from their account when they break major rules, (fist fighting, threatening mom, throwing things, stuff like that). So in a way behavior is kinda involved with them getting it.



I was just wondering how it works in other families.

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Constance - posted on 07/09/2011

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The reason I don't take away money is because they did what was exspected of them. If I tell them they will get X amount for doing their chores then that is what they exspect. If I then take it away from them then they will stop doing the things they earn money for because they will know if they mess up then they won't have the money anyway so why should I bother.

Praise, love, and trust are the fundation for kids to learn.

Tamara - posted on 07/08/2011

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Are you glad you were taught the basics of cleaning and maintaining a house?

Me I had to learn after I moved out how to do everything, we always had a maid and things so I didn't learn anything aside cooking a few things. So I said My kids will know how to do everything before they leave.

Janeta - posted on 07/08/2011

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My baby is still to little for an allowence but when I was growing up (keep in mind I am only 18) the only time I got an allowance was when I did extra things like mow babysit ect and my mom and dad took allowance away from us as well if we acted bad and broke major rules! My mom and dad always said we needed to learn basic chores such as cleaning the bathroom laundry cooking ect so that when we had our own famlies we knew how to take care of our house and our family.

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Selina - posted on 07/11/2011

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Our daughter is 11 yrs old and gets 3 € per week.
We don't pay her for chores around the house but she does them without complaining, and always has since she was little.
She usually spends her money on clothes in the flea market or on ebay. If she doesn't have enough then she saves until she does.
I don't believe in paying her to do chores around the house as she should help out as we all do to keep our house clean and tidy and all of her many pets clean, fed and watered.
She gets her pocket money to make her more independent and to help her realize how much things cost, how to save if you can't afford something and not just be given things without realizing the value of money.

Valerie - posted on 07/11/2011

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my kids are too young and we havent really thought about that yet. but when i was a kid we didnt get allowance. money was too tight to get a scheduled sum. but if we needed or wanted money for something certain things came into the picture. we had chores that we had to do everyday. and if we wanted to say go to a movie and needed money if we hadnt done our chores or had been bad we wouldnt get it. so we be allowed to go but have no way to pay. that stings. and then there were other things. if you shoveled snow you got 20$ if you mowed the lawn 15$ so there was always something to do if you wanted to make some. there was also report cards. this was particular to each child though i always did good so it wasnt something i delt with my mom would usually just get me a new top or something when mine came. but my brothers were a totally different story. one of them could not care less about school and anything that had to do with it. he would cut all the time and whatnot. if he got grounded he would cut more. it was so bad. so my mom essentially bribed him. when your report card comes you will get 20$ for every A. well you cant get As if you dont go to class. and the other one just had trouble with somethings. so he would get some kind of reward if he was doing really bad in a subject and pulled it back up to reward him for his hard work. i dont really agree with the bribe thing especially the way my brother is now that he is grown but the rest i like.

Jennifer - posted on 07/11/2011

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Well, our girls wanted a hamster, so I made an agreement with them. I pay for the food, they pay for the bedding. They asked me how they could do that, I said do things around the house and well we do it based off the chore. They get a certain amount per event, but they don't live with us full time either. So, I tell them how much it costs and they save to help with the cost. (I would not let the animal starve if they don't have the money.) They pay me back, or do more chores to make it up. Plus, we started this as they started asking for things, and we realized they could save up for it if they wanted it badly enough. This way they learn the value of a dollar, how to be responsible with life lessons, and they can earn the finer things they want. They learn that if you don't have the money (as most parents don't), you go without. They don't ask us, unless it is a necessity. But I always tell them they can come up with different chores and I will pay them accordingly. So, get creative about how you allow them to raise money, but be reasonable about how much you pay. There are times that we say if you get the whole house done, depending on how dirty it is, they can get anywhere from $5 to $10. So, it is worth their while, and less stress on me.

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I agree with Sherri, We teach them to have respect and pride for their home and their things, that means helping to clean and somewhat maintain the home. Everybody lives here therefore eveybody can help when needed.

Tamyra - posted on 07/10/2011

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I have kids from 17 months to 17 years. I pay my older kids a set amount, but I also tell them they can do exrtra things around the house just to help the house run better and to help me. My oldest son does this well, but my 14 year old daughter needs a push every now and then. I think they need some spending money so they can learn about savings and giving to others. I may approach it differently with my little one. Not sure yet how I will change it up.

Debi - posted on 07/10/2011

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My girls are 12 and 15 and yes they get money for chores. We have a Chore chart some things are worth .25 cents a day they only get money for the chores they do with out being told and CORRECTLY and they only get money once a month which part of the money has to help pay for their cell phones which teaches them that the money we earn goes to bills, If they do not do enough chores to pay for cell phone I take it away until the following Month, They both know how to clean and cook and I am glad because I know when its time fot them to move out and live on their own they will be ready to be responsible at cleaning and paying bills.

Amy - posted on 07/09/2011

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We give our daughter $1.00 for every year old she is. She's 8 so she gets $8.00 a week, but we require her to save 25% of it (we put it in her savings account). She has to do the chores we ask her to do (outside of the normal like you mentioned) without complaining, and we explained to her that a lot of household chores are just part of being in a family and helping out.

Tamara - posted on 07/09/2011

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I do understand what is being said about deducting anything. The only one we really have to do it for is my son Jeff and we have found that being the only thing that has worked toward changing the really bad behavior. With that said this summer we have yet had to take anything away, So for us it helped.

Thanks again for more different ways this is handled.

Jamie - posted on 07/09/2011

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RESPONSIBILITIES:We have 5 children. We picked things that they could do on their own. It includes things such as make your bed, put away your clean laundry, pick up your toys, set/clear the table, keep your shoes in your room, etc. Simple things. Easy things. We then assigned a weekly value to each chore (for the week. For instance, if they make their bed every day they will earn $2 for the week. However, if they miss one day, the forfeit the entire value for the week. You can of course assign a daily value if you would like – it is up to you.

BONUSES: Who doesn’t love a bonus? I know that my kids do. And so, we have a section just for this. We are trying to teach our children to take initiative and not be told to do things — nor do things only because they have to. We want them to see that the toys need to be picked up from the front room or that there are still crayons on the table at dinner time and put them where they belong without mom or dad askign them to do so. These items earn bonus dollars. We assign a value to each bonus completed and they can earn extra money when they complete bonus tasks for the week.

FINES: Ahhh, yes. The fines. If you are caught speeding, you may get a traffic ticket and get a fine. The same goes for our children. We add the area that they may have a problem with, be it fighting, whining at bedtime or talking back. These events are assigned a fine value. Each time they do something that earns them a fine, they get a checkmark by that item on their chart. This helps them visualize what they are losing by doing things that mom and dad may find less than desirable.

When “pay day” arrives each Sunday evening, we don’t simply add up the total they have earned (adding in bonuses and deducting fines). Oh no! We make them sit down at the table and be involved in the entire transaction. We first review their chart and go through the responsibilities and help them add up the total that they earned for the week. We then pay them that amount by laying it on the table in front of them (we stick to using one dollar bills and quarters).

Once they have earned their base pay, we look at the chart and see how many bonus items they completed. In our house, the bonus is one value that you can earn if you complete a bonus item every day. For instance, if our daughter always picks up something without being told each day, she will earn $3 for the week. However, if she misses a day, she loses the entire bonus. We then lay down more dollar bills to pay her for the additional chores she completed. We then have them count the money in front of us. And then…..come the fines……..

We have our childre each look at thier charts to see the fines they had for the week. We do them one at a time. As we come to a fine, we tell them you owe me “X.” They must pull out the payment from the cash/change on the table and place it in my hand. We do this for each and every violation. This is the hardest part of payday for our children. It is very difficult for them to have to give us back the money they just earned. However, this is teaching them a valuable lesson — there are costs associated with doing the wrong things in life. We hope that this is helping instill morals and values that are so important.

Once they have settled up with mom and dad, we help them count what they have left. They each have 3 envelopes: Save, Give, Spend. They are required to put a select percentage into Give and Save and the rest goes into Spend. They can use the Give money to place in the collection basket at church or to give to someone in need (however they usually just take that money to church each week). They can use Spend money on whatever they want (within reason, of course).

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I'm with Constance on not taking the money away....it seems to me, though I could be very wrong, that this would lead to kids spending it as soon as they get it so that they could not have it taken away. Sure, you could take the toy away, but what if they bought candy?
Also, I think it is important to teach them to save. J knows his money is save in a savings account (for the most part, unless we have another crash like '29) but that stocks are riskier, but return more. We don't let him invest in anything risky yet, obviously, but we do let him appropriate his funds as he chooses between savings, college, and liquid spending.

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I feel allowance should be earned, and it is very important to learning financial management, but I also feel that kids should be taught to do their part of the household upkeep just because it is a life responsibility--when they grow up, no one is going to pay them to clean their own room.

I HOPE I've found a balance with J. He is 6 yrs old and gets $5 / week. The way we explained it to him is that he has a responsibility to our family that is comprised of several components. For our household to run smoothly, just as a business would need to run smoothly, we all have to meet all of our requirements--these may vary from one week to the next, like daddy may have to work 20 hours one week, and 80 the next, but he always gets paid the same amount....but he gets bonuses if his firm does really well, we get into that later.

So while he doesn't get paid for each individual thing he does, he knows he has to do whatever is asked if he wants to get paid, and he knows how his actions, or lack thereof, affect the household as a whole.

Constance - posted on 07/09/2011

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I give my kids allowances and points. Their allowance is based on grades and chores. The points are for the exta stuff they want. If they follow the rules, do their chores, brush their teeth it is worth a certain amount of points

Each chore is paid by the chore if they don't do it they don't get paid. I never take away the money they do earn.

The points chart is based for behavior. If they don't break rules and do everything the are asked to do then the get a certain amount points for each thing. They have to gain a certain amount of points everyday if they want privledges. They make certain request then we decide how many points they have to ean to get something special. It keeps them motivated and they know they just have to do what they are suppost to they know it will get them things they really want.

Tamara - posted on 07/09/2011

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Thank you all so much for sharing your ideas and the way you do things in your house, I really appreciate it gives something to think about.

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Mine is too young right now, but I plan on giving them a little money once a month. I don't want my kids to expect anything from helping out around the house. They should do it because it's asked and nothing more. Chores should be used as a learning experiance not as something you get paid for (it isn't like they'll get paid for cleaning their own homes as adults).

As for taking it away, it would most likely be for major rule braking or repeated rule breaking.

Dianne - posted on 07/09/2011

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I've been tossing this idea around, too. Money can be a great motivator, but how about helping out just to be helpful and please people? Should kids be paid to learn to take care of themselves? It seems to me that children should be taught that being part of a family means helping out and doing their part with chores, projects, etc. When you pay your kids to do things around home it probably won't be long before you hear "how much are you going to pay me?" when you ask them to do something. Where do you draw the line between being part of the family and what's "extra"? I'm very grateful that my parents taught me to cook and clean, etc. I don't even remember if I got anything for babysitting 3 younger siblings when my parents went out for the evening! I think I would consider that "extra". Good luck sorting this out for your family!

Jennifer - posted on 07/09/2011

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My kids do earn an allowence for chores. For me, the whole purpose of doing that is so they learn that you have to work to earn money. Money is very tight in my house, and we don't have it to just hand out for no reason. The really nice thing is that my kids used to be very destructive with their toys. They are to some extent still, but they are learning that the stuff they bought with their own money took a lot of work to get, and they take better care of it. My kids only earn $1 each week for their chores (if done without complaint, which they've never complained yet, and they've been doing all for about 6 months now). Also, if they do extra stuff, sometimes they get money for that too. It's never much, usually a quarter, but again, it's something they have earned. I find it incredibly important that all my kids learn basic household chores. I can still remember a friend of mine that wanted a pair of jeans washed and had no clue how to run the washer, so she called me to come over to help her. She was 16! At 15, she put a plastic bowl on the stove thinking if she kept the temp low it wouldn't melt the bowl. Ya right, her parents had to buy a new stove that night, because they never taught her how to cook.

Stifler's - posted on 07/09/2011

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LOL Katherine they did. No talk of Easter, no eggs, no visiting Grandma. We were much better behaved next year bahaha. We were the worst kids.

Stifler's - posted on 07/09/2011

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My kids aren't old enough but they'll be getting money for doing chores when they're old enough and if they don't do it, no money. My parents never gave us pocket money unless we did jobs. If we were naughty they cancelled Easter HAHAHA. Well threatened to, they only actually cancelled Easter once.

Katherine - posted on 07/09/2011

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My kids are too little to. Actually I could start with my 5.5 year old......but growing up my parents also did the same thing. I had chores and had to maintain my behavior or I didn't get my allowance.

Now the only problem I see with this is that there should be no correlation with behavior and allowance. They've done the chores and should get their money UNLESS you established in the beginning they had to be civil towards each other or they wouldn't get their allowance.

Tamara - posted on 07/08/2011

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Thanks so much, That helped let me know that Yes I am doing the right thing making them work around the house with out earning (for the household chores)

Janeta - posted on 07/08/2011

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I am very grateful that my mom and dad taught me the basics of cleaning and cooking! I can and do cook homecooked meals for my family every night! I have a VERY clean house! My daughter is only eleven months old and I already tell her this is how we clean I walk her around her room and help her pick up toys and show her where they go ect! I can not imagine what my life would be like if my mom and dad would not have taught me what I need to know! I can clean and or cook pretty much anything that you put in front of me with out even thinking about it! I think you giving the kids an allowance is a good thing but just for the extras they do not stuff that they should already be doing daily as part of the house matience

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