Do you plan to return to work once your kids are in school?

Missy - posted on 01/23/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

44

18

5

I was looking foward to returning to work once my kids started school but it was harder than I remembered. I had been a SAHM for 12 yrs and I was so scared! I couldn't believe how much I had lost my confidence. I tried a couple different jobs that worked well with my kid's schedule but it was difficult trying to get myself and three kids out the door in the morning so I decided I would just be a SAHM forever. That way I could get all my cleaning, laundry, and errands done while the kids were in school and then once they got home I could focus on them. The only problem is once I decided that was my life's path and tried it for a few months I started really getting down that this was all I had to look foward to everyday-more laundry, more cleaning, more grocery shopping, etc. I missed having something that was all my own-something that I was striving for myself besides just a clean house. Also I was tired of trying so hard to make ends meet. Sure we could get by but I was tired of just "getting by". So I did go back with a new attitude and found I loved using my brain for something more challenging than I was used to and it felt great to get paid. However, I don't want to go back full-time right now and I'm still somewhat confused to what type of work I really want to do the rest of my life. I was talking to several of my SAHM friends and they had the exact same fears-worrying they were making the right decision, feeling like they weren't sure they could do it anymore after being out of the work force for so long, knowing they wanted more but not sure what it was. Does anyone else struggle with this?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Patti - posted on 01/30/2010

157

7

1

Hi there ladies I know how you all feel I was in the same spot you are now only it was 14 years ago!
I had a very great career that paid me a six figure income but I didn't want to miss out on the firsts with my son.While I was on maternity leave I started my own business from home and it has not only replaced that income in that short time but it has filled the void that some of you are mentioning. The nice thing about my business is it allows me the flexibility to be there for my three childrens activities, field trips and vacation days. I have never have had to put them in daycare or have them be with a sitter because I worked my business around their schedules.
Now that they are older I still feel the need to be there and I am very thankful that a decision my husband and I made 14 years ago has allowed me to be there for my family both physically and financially.

12 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

Yes and no. I'm into investing, and can see doing some day trading from home after my kids go to school (right now, we live in a place with such craptastic schools that even our first grader is home, because I have to homeschool her). We also have been checking into some investment properties in the city we're relocating to next year, and are getting ready to begin a bit of real estate investing. This will also be my venture. My husband will be opening an automotive shop within the next five years, and there's no saying I won't find myself manning the counter on occasion, or doing the books for that, but we do not have plans for me to work in the shop full time or anything like that.

So if you count managing our investments as work, then yes, I will be working a bit, but I have no plans to go back to my old life as an engineer. The schedule isn't nearly flexible enough.

LauraBeth - posted on 01/30/2010

522

3

110

I will not return to work!! I will be able to attend school functions, help with class parties, attend field trips, take care of the house work!! I love what I do!! We are also active in church, I dont feel like I have lost any confidence by not working, Actually I feel like I have gained more confidence by becomeing a mother. As soon as I became pregnant I quit working and I have never looked back!!

Athena - posted on 01/26/2010

2

19

0

I am facing the same decisions right now... Not sure whether to go back to an office job or stay at home with my children and babysit a couple of kids to help financially. I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old and it has been so amazing being at home for both of them, my 5 year old starting Kindergarten and my 1 year old at such a critical age for care and love. With my oldest child I worked full time in an office, so most of her life she was in a daycare. I know it would be best for my children for me to stay at home and work from home while I am finishing my degree online, however being away from the office environment I feel would get in the way of my career and make it harder for me to go back to work. What is best??? I keep going back and forth... And, like you I am afraid that I have lost my confidence from being away from the workforce for 2 yrs or so... I guess if you chose to go back to work, you can regain that confidence. But, nothing is better than being there for your children. You need to be happy with yourself and what is best for your children too.

Crystal - posted on 01/26/2010

7

5

0

Ooh, not sure. I'd like to. Maybe start off with some part time, during their school time. Just so I can still be able to pick them up from school. I like doing the whole staying at home. And I love my husband so much for being a great father and provider for my daughter and I. But I could always help out and see how life takes me a few years from now when she's ready to start school.

Bethany - posted on 01/26/2010

376

34

147

I'm considering homeschooling for primary school, so no paid work for me, though maybe some weekend or night work if finances demand it.

Missy - posted on 01/26/2010

44

18

5

Thanks for all your comments! It's such a struggle being a mom sometimes! I'm glad I'm not the only one trying to figure out what's best and trying to make it all work. Good luck to all of you!

Samantha - posted on 01/25/2010

7

16

0

I kept saying I would go to work when my youngest started school as well, then we had one more child who is now 6 months. However, I did go through training through the army before I became pregnant with my youngest, and honestly I hated beeing away from my kids, even when it was just a few hours of the day and I could go home to them. I am now starting up the clinical portion of my degree in april, where I will be away from home for 5 hours of the day again. In one big way Im looking forward to it, I love the work and I know my kids could use more social time with kids their ages and I could use more adult conversation, but I know I will miss them all day long. It just takes time to adjust to a new schedule, and everyone suffers low confidence issues once in awhile. And whether you are a stay at home mom til they graduate college or go out and do something else for work, just be happy with what you do and enjoy every minute with your kids. :)

Jennifer - posted on 01/23/2010

1,431

1

298

We keep saying that I will go back to work once the youngest is in school, but i have no clue when that will be, because we are currently trying for just one more. I keep thinking that I have no clue what I will do, because I was a nursing assistant for seven years before I decided to stay home, and I don't know how to do anything else. I can't go back to work as a nursing assistant without taking the classes and tests again, and I have no desire to work in a nursing home again (if you can believe it, it was way more stressful than staying at home). I am currently trying to find kids to watch in my own home, so if I get that started and can keep up with that, then I don't see the need to find something outside of the house later on.

Heather - posted on 01/23/2010

150

9

8

I am currently a SAHM and plan to go back to work when my youngest is in school shes 6mo now so it will be a few years! I do wonder how I feel getting back in the work place but I agree I like not just having something to look forward to but also to use my brain! I also think it could be encouraging for my children to see me succeeding to world as a working women and Mom with a family! But I hope I still feel that way when i rejoin the workforce in about 6 years!

Lisa - posted on 01/23/2010

37

17

0

I have been a SAHM since my twins were 8 months old (they are 12 now). I did work an evening shift at a resort hotel a few miles from our house when they were about 18 months old and it was a perfect balance. I hired a babysitter to come to my house and stay with them until my husband came home (I left around 2:40 and he got home around 5pm). I worked from 3-11pm and usually got in around midnight. I was able to sleep until about 6:30am and then start the day with my boys. I wouldn't have quit but we sold our house and moved too far to make it reasonable to keep working there. SInce then, I have done some babysitting in my home and some office work for my husband's company. I stopped babysitting in September when the little girl went off to preschool. At first I loved the freedom but now I find myself feeling bored with the same chores every day. All of my cleaning and shopping is done by the middle of the week. Now I spend more time with friends which helps keep me from bored but doesn't bring in the extra money that I used to make. I will be working part time with very flexible hours working for my husband's company again. I'm looking forward to getting out, making some money and still being here for my kids when they need me. I hope you can figure out what you are looking for and find a happy medium. I used to think I wanted a career but realized along the way that being a mom is what brings me satisfaction. My "job" doesn't need to be meaningful since being a mom is so fulfilling.

Jennifer - posted on 01/23/2010

40

3

10

Hello, i want to stay at home till at least my youngest starts nursery (if finances allow me too) i thought it was extremely important to stay at home with them for the first years of their lives, and really nurture them like a mum should. my eldest is 3 and my youngest 10 months, i feel lucky im at home with them cause i know for a lot of mums its not an option. but its deffientely just as hard work being at home you dont exactly get breaks. and im always worried that people are thinking why isnt she out working? i think i probably have lost confidence and it defintely terrifies me the thought of going back to work although i know ill have to. ideally i'd like to train to become a child minder, i love being with my own children, so id like to make a career of it plus it works well with my own children because ill work from home. i have to say i do feel quite isolated possibly more because im not out working and meeting people as much and like you said there is always the same routine everyday of cleaning and stuff. im going to enquire with some mother and toddler groups so i can meet a few people and get my confidence back i think. hope it all works out ok for you.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms