Do you think a childs upbringing unfluences who they will become?

User - posted on 12/09/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Me and my hubby got onto this discussion and I found it really interesting. On his side of the family, all the men he says have been heitherns (sp.) and our son has that in his blood and he will be one as well.

Well.... I do not think so. I will not allow it for one, but it is really aggravating to me when our son does something out of line he remarks afterward by "oh thats the collins blood running through his veins". I think that parenting and giving your children limits and holding strong with them, being there for your child having security with you, and standing behind what you believe, being a good role model (just how you raise your child and the enviroment you have htem around) will strongly influence your child on how they will perceive things, their values and untimately influence there decisions as they get older.

I think that all children will try to go against you regardless at some point, its not all genetics that make him like that, its just him being a kid and learning his limits. Isnt it that "we live and we learn" We all make mistakes but having parents their to guide helps us become more independant and know more of right from wrong.

To me I feel that everyone is different with different personalities and they are going to make their own choices, however when they make those choices, how the child was raised and the enviroment around them do influence what they believe they should do or shouldnt do.

Theres alot of factors that go into how you will turn out as you grow up, but I know that if I wasnt raised they way I was, I would still be me but with my personality and what I believed in would be different because there are other outside factors that would help mold what I became, things that I might have in another life, but not nec. in the one I was raised.

Like now I was raised with my mom and dad and many siblings, I was shy and quite, I am the youngest so my siblings wouldnt really play with me often because of age difference. My oldest sister is 22 yrs older than me. Everytime I was upset about something, they told me to quit crying and your fine. My dad taught me to be self reliant, if I ever asked him a question he would say go look it up. I was raised in a great home dont get me wrong, there was alot of children to look after so I didnt get as much time and attention as I wanted, but after all by the time I was born they were 41 and 49, and raised us in more of an old style way

Things like this I see now that I am not an outgoing person, I tend to still be in the background, I am self sufficient and do not like to ask for help, I dont like being the center of attention, etc. Im just getting at if I was raised in a home that was very talkative and had ouspoken parents and it was comforting to talk to them about everything, well I would probably be a lil different, as I wouldnt be as soft spoken as I am now etc.



I just thought it was interesting, this is just what I thought on it but wanted to know how others veiwed it.

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Jodi - posted on 12/09/2012

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Psychologists generally believe that we are born with a certain genetic temperament, but that our personalities and how that temperament develops is dependent on our environment (whether that be upbringing, circumstances, physical environment, etc. We are not born to be one particular way. We are born with many paths that we can take, and while our temperament will dictate some of the paths we take, our environment will dictate just as many.

User - posted on 12/09/2012

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thats what I tried to tell my husband, that even if the family has a past of bad deeds, doesnt mean that he will too, he might want to but how we parent him as far as when we are around he will not be doing those same bad deeds and that we will raise him the best we can and just hope that we taught him well enough that he wont get into too much trouble when hes on his own.



It really is a mixture of both.

Denikka - posted on 12/09/2012

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This is the whole nature vs nurture debate.

And I think most people will tell you that its a mixture of both.



How you raise your child, expectations and rules you set, along with their ingrained personality is all going to have an effect. Some people do have a streak of mischief, no matter how theyre raised, they are always going to be getting into a bit of trouble for their devilishness. How you raise them though, can more determine whether they turn to harmful pranks, cruel pranks, how far they may go with things, whether they own up to what they did, etc.



Your son may have a streak of devilishness in him. It may be more difficult for him to always do the right thing and not give in to temptation. But he can still control his actions, etc.

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