Do your husbands still look at you like your dating?

Nicole - posted on 05/25/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I've just been noticing my need for my husband to look at me and get turned on...I haven't felt like it's that simple in a long time and I miss it, I was just thinking about the way it used to be. catching him taking peaks when I'm getting out of the shower and getting dressed. Now I feel like I can stand totally nude in front of the tv and all he'd do is ask me to scoot to the side.... I was just wondering how many other couples have this problem and does he know that this is a problem?

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[deleted account]

I got most of those tips from our marriage counselor. I didn't realize how much I was calling him during the day until he told me to think about what we were going to talk about before I dialed. I think I was calling him like every 2 hours or so, just to say "hi" :P

They all seem like little, insignificant things to do/not do, but you would be amazed at the difference in just a couple of months!

We also have "dates" twice a month, kid free--gives us something to look forward to. We also have girls' night & guy's nights about once a month (or more) so that we have a life outside of "us". It seemed there for a while, like we had nothing to talk about, you know?

I also made an effort to be more "lovey" in public--give him a little peck on the cheek, hold his hand, etc. Something about PDA, just makes it more special....I don't know why.

Sorry I keep going on and on :P

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Dawn - posted on 05/26/2011

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Kelly - Wow that is very great insightful advice. I don't have anything to add because you've covered all the basis. Just wanted to give you kudos for the response. You've really challenged me to remember to keep up with these things and not let them fall to the wayside with all of the hustle and bustle of kids and maintaining my household. Thanks!

Stifler's - posted on 05/26/2011

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Yeah we have this problem. sadly, at age 23. We are really comfortable and sometimes feel no need to impress each other or do anything fun on the weekends it's really annoying.

Nicole - posted on 05/25/2011

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niice! i'll have to pay more attention to what I'm doing...reading your responce I cannot say I do or don't do those things....I'd love to get involved somewhere...I've tried playgroup theey always fall apart...the only thing we really do weekly is story time at the library...other then that it's whatever we feel like whenever we feel like it!!

[deleted account]

We went through a phase like that. We finally got through it, but I'll tell you--it was HARD.
What finally worked for me was rather difficult to do, since I wanted his attention so much, but basically, I put some distance between us, and put some mystery back into our marriage.

When I became a SAHM, he knew I was available anytime he wanted me, whereas when we were dating, he could only have me when I wanted him to, so he wanted it more--we crave things we can only have in moderation. I was home all day, and isolated, so I texted and called all the time--he never had tome to miss me. So I got involved in my community, hobbies, friends, etc, to keep myself busy and completely stopped calling him unless I needed something specific.
Another thing I did was started covering up more....we kind of got comfy together, sleeping nude, showering while he shaved, etc. So I bought a couple of cute silk nighties (comfy ones, he's not tearing them off yet!) and started doing my showering and getting ready alone. (I made this a bit of a treat for myself too, with nice washes, candles, lotions and perfumes, which make ME feel sexy, and leave a really nice scent for him to come into when I hand over the bathroom, which makes him want to smell me).
Oh, I also started having sex on my terms--If I was in the mood, okay, but if not, I said no and he had to wait it out.

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