Do your Mom and your Mother-in-law get along?

Kay - posted on 12/11/2011 ( 17 moms have responded )

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What kind of a relationship do the 2 grandmothers have with each other. Is there jealousy?

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Stifler's - posted on 12/13/2011

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my mum can't stand my MIL because she always tries to organise things. there were arguments over our wedding cake and stuff and my son's curtains. my mother in law is ridiculous.

Bonnie - posted on 12/14/2011

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My mother and MIL were really close before my husband and I got married. Then when the first grandchild came, it seemed like there was competition and they got into a few arguments. They are better with eachother now, but don't see eachother often.

Sal - posted on 12/14/2011

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No But to be fair to mum no one gets along with my mil, not her sisters her kids her neighbors not even sure if her dog likes her!!!!! Lol but my mil is pretty nasty to me my son my husband and she isnt even nice to her little grand daughters and my mum just isn't the let it slide kinda gal when it comes to people being nasty to her kids

Carol - posted on 12/12/2011

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My mom always got along great with my in-laws. It helped sooo much for family get togethers like Christmas and Thanksgiving. Both our parents are divorced, so there are 4 sets to visit. My dad is a loser and doesn't count, so he's out. My mom usually went with us to one of the in-laws or she hosted things at her house and everyone was invited. All were invitied at our house too. Just within the last year we moved 1000 miles from everyone and my mom passed away suddenly. Makes you realize how very lucky we had it. I don't think there was ever any jealousy. My mom was the most involved and went to all the games and school plays and things and we'd visit each other nearly every weekend. My father-in-law would visit at least a couple times a month. My other set of in-laws would talk on the phone weekly and see us every month or two (they were 2 1/2 hours away). They missed us and the activities, but we always had so much fun together. Now Skype is king and we talk at least once a week to stay connected.
Skype is free. All you need is the webcam that you can pick up for under $20. If one of your parents is feeling left out, do a video call to catch up. We got web-cams for all the grandparents last year for Christmas and have been talking and seeing eachother whenever we want. My 8 year will even set up the calls without us sometimes and talk their ears off just like when they are here in person.

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Shauna - posted on 04/19/2013

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Okay, so I am looking for a little advice. My fiance and I are expecting our first baby in October. We both think it's about time our mothers spend some time together, getting to know each other and such. I am worried though... They are just about as different as can be and it is a challenge for us to try to plan things they'll both enjoy. They are both wonderful ladies and take great pride in their families, however I think there might end up being some jealousy over gandma/baby topics as well as some misunderstands elsewhere since their personalities are SO different. My MIL is very, well, emotional and touchy feely. I love her, but it can be a lot to take sometimes. My mom is just not that kinda gal. It's not bad, but I was just never raised with the clingy, crying thing so it's hard to take sometimes. I could go on and on - but will try not to. Long story short - does anyone have ideas on neutral playdate activities for one tell'em how it is mom and another emotional mom??? All suggestions welcome!

Jenna - posted on 12/14/2011

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Mine get along just fine. There is no jealousy. Of course, one lives in CA and the other lives in AZ and we don't live in either place. My kids see them both about the same amount and don't have a favorite. One funny fact--both our moms were born in the same month of the same year and have the same first name and they both also have all sisters and one brother. I think those facts alone helped them bond when they first met.

Stifler's - posted on 12/14/2011

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that's just like mine sal, no one gets along with my mother in law.

Sal - posted on 12/14/2011

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We won't have both of them together any more we have no more weddings or christenings so basically seen as its too much effort for her to ever come to anything she just misses out we tried doing sonething with each but don't bother anymore as she can't spend 5 minuites with her without some insane tirade so her lose

Rhonda - posted on 12/13/2011

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Yes, they get along just fine. It is nice. There is no jealousy or problems in their friendship.

Jaime - posted on 12/13/2011

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nope...they werent friendly with each other from the beginning....for my baby shower his mom didnt buy anything but my mom bought a bunch of gifts and bought the party favors and his mom had the worst look on her face, like "who does she think she is" my mom helps out alot with stuff like that and i am very close to her and my boyfriend did not have that close, nurturing relationship with his mom so i think there was some jealousy/animosity there.....she referred to my mom as ugly in spanish while on the phone thinking i dont understand spanish and everytime she did something nice for my son she would say "did your mom do that?" lol like a little jealous girl....my boyfriend actually doesnt even speak to his mom anymore because of all her passive aggressive behavior and indirect inappropriate comments.

Tinker1987 - posted on 12/12/2011

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Nobody likes my Mother in law....and i think my mother in law is definetly jealous of my mom,im very close to my parents and want my son to be close to them too, my fiance has a distant relationship with his folks,we dont see them often...

Karina - posted on 12/12/2011

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I've been very blessed to have my mother and mother-in-law get along like a house on fire. My mother-in-law still works full time and my mum doesn't so there is this kind of understanding that my mum gives my 2 kids all her time without hassle and my mother-in-law buys my kids the more expensive stuff. My kids love them both so much that my 2.5yr old happily jumps from one lap to another all day.

Brooke - posted on 12/12/2011

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I was just talking to a friend about this the other day. This past Thanksgiving was the first holiday our families spent together. Since Thanksgiving my husbands parents have come over once a week and our mom's actually got coffee together and talked about doing dinner together. I think we might have turned a corner! I think our parents always would've gotten along if we would've been married before having Kiya. Instead, our were mad at us and then my parents saw how his parents treated us and their grand daughter and they didn't like that and his parents didn't like that mine "bended over backwards for us" and they didn't like that Joe became close to my family. It was one big mess, but were making our way through it.

Aniesha - posted on 12/12/2011

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Not just my Mum & MIL, but my whole family get along fantastic with my in-laws. Makes family gatherings so much more enjoyable! It's nice to know we can leave them all alone together and they won't be at each other's throats or anything, lol.

Kimberly - posted on 12/11/2011

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Well yes you could say that, I live in australia with my husband and all his family is here where my whole family lives in canada. I am very close to his family and they have been a great help with our daughter. My mom is happy for us and realizes that I am happy and enjoy my life here but that still doesnt mean that when she sees pics of my daughter on the swings with nan here she isnt a little put out. No not jealous but sad that she doesnt get to see our daughter whenever she wants. They chat on facebook and my mom is very happy that they treat me like one of there own. I really dont think that my in laws could dislike anyone at the end of the day though lol!!!! We will be heading back to canada for our first visit when my daughter is three and a half( 2013) so boy will she be spoiled!

Jane - posted on 12/11/2011

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When they were both alive, yes, they got along just fine. My mom and my MIL were terrific ladies, just happy to see that their children were happy, and that their children's children were happy.

Now MY grandmothers were a different story. My father's mother, GMa D., was the "little girl" in her marriage. My mother's mother , GMa B., was a tough, no nonsense but generous woman who had been an equal partner in her marriage. Whenever GMa B had to sit next to GMa D, she would very ostentatiously turn her hearing aid off. She had very little use for an adult who persisted in behaving like a child. GMa D would burst into tears and flee to her room, emerging later to find that no one was paying her any attention. Family gatherings were always interesting. Too interesting.

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