Does anybody else ever just not want to do anything??

Ashley - posted on 01/25/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My daughter is about 15 months now, and I recently have been feeling tired, lazy, and just plain like crap. I used to play with her all day long, take her out to the park, beach, pool, on walks and to the store with me. And now, I only do those things sometimes. My housework is suffering, my relationship is suffering, I cook, but no longer want to. I've gained a lot of weight, and have been told that there is no "spark" in my relationship any longer...and never want to do much of anything, or if I do want to, I can't because we have money issues, or I just never get around to it. Has this happened to anyone else?? Some days I go to bed thinking that my daughter must've been bored all day because all she did was play in my room. I am having a hard time sleeping as well. And I just feel like a bad wife and mom.

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Mary - posted on 01/25/2010

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This is depression dear friend.
You have been through the major change of moving to another state and worse, you don't even like it there! You poor thing!
I am about to turn 46 and I have raised 6 kids, 4 now grown. I have mostly been a stay at home mom. Especially in the past 10 years when we began homeschooling.
When I was younger, to get out of the depression I would find some part time job for extra cash.
Cash is freedom for a mother and wife. Trust me in this. Even if you just sell Avon or Tupperware or Pampered Chef, just a tiny bit of cashola can go a LONG way in boosting your mood. It empowers you somehow.
The next thing I would suggest is to find friends. Join a MOPS group in your area.
Keep looking until you find ppl that you feel you fit in with. And don't give up until you do. At your young age other women friends are what will get you through.
And as you get older, making friends is harder to do. And at my age it is nearly impossible, so make friends now while you are able. (As we age our mindset changes and we literally find fault with everyone we meet!) When you are young and have little ones, it is just somehow easier to get along with people I guess. The best friendships of my life have been with women with kids my kids age. And boy! Did we have a BLAST! I could tell you stories that would make you die laughing!
The last thing I will suggest is Church. Church is good for kids and you too. And again, if you don't like one, keep looking until you do find one that you like.

Best of luck dear one and God Bless!
Mary~

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Ashley - posted on 01/26/2010

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Thanks for everybody's help! I will try everything! Oh, and it's not really the winter thing...I live in Florida, hahaha. And no I don't have literally ANY friends here. It's hard when you move somewhere with a new baby, then find out you hate it here, but you're stuck because you don't have the money to move back. I should get a partime job, I've been looking for a littlle bit. You are right Mary, money definately makes it better. It's just that my husband makes it all, and is somewhat selfish...and most of the time he doesn't share. I don't even get to do the shopping for the neccesities. He makes sure he goes with me and pays. It's bull if you ask me, but he is also upset that we've been through so many changes, including my new attitude which is in partly because of him.

Amanda - posted on 01/25/2010

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I had all of these things and I went to my doctor and he put me on Zoloft. I started to feel great and I started working out and eating right and lost 30 pounds. It makes things so much better. I use to lock myself in the room and I didn't want to do anything but now everything is back on track. My husband says I'm the person he first met.

Jessie - posted on 01/25/2010

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Same boat....just had second baby..and now im stuck at home even longer.. i need to find a job .. thats what keeps me sane knowing that i cdan get myself a job in the next couple of months

Michelle - posted on 01/25/2010

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Ashleigh, the winter gets me down too because you're like.... trapped in the house, you're bored, kid(s) are bored, men are bored... it sucks lol I can't wait for summer to come again.

Ashleigh - posted on 01/25/2010

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We should chat! I feel the exact same way. I just can't seem to kick it and im starting to feel really bad for my son (he is almost 2) because we don't go out as much. A lot has happened in my life (miscarriage, new house etc.) and I also like you have gained a lot of weight. Isn't being a woman wonderful?! lol. I don't really think im depressed, I think im more stuck in a rut somewhat. Plus it doesnt help it's winter and all the snow (im in Canada). Sorry to hear what you are going through, but at least now I know that im not the only one going through it!!

Nia - posted on 01/25/2010

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Awe honey, Im sure that you are not alone. DO you have any friends that live in your area that you can just get out with and go for a walk? THat always helps me, Im sure that if it wernt for the fact that I am alone I would feel the same way some days. Its the hardest job that you will every do, being a mom is hard and you little one needs you all the time. Its draining and exhausting. But at the end of the day she/he needs you, if thats alone cant pull you out of bed then maybe you should talk to you doctor, forget about the house work and cooking cleaning its about you and your baby, and if you are feeling down then it might not be you it might be more. I hope this helps.

All the best

Tally - posted on 01/25/2010

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I think this happens to a lot of moms... I am praying for you that God will show you exactly what to do... that He will provide you and your family with all your financial, emotional, and social needs.
When I feel alone and depressed I begin to pray and worship God... He meets me there and lifts me up.

with love

Michelle - posted on 01/25/2010

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Try taking your vitamins-- that helped me a lot. And Take care of yourself!! I started to feel like this so I set up time for me to be by myself and to take bubble baths or whatever, and I feel better now. Plus I started making sure I got more sleep and took my vitamins. If that doesn't work you should definitely talk to your doctor about how you're feeling-- depression is a slippery slope from manageable to unmanageable.

Ashley - posted on 01/25/2010

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Yeah, plus, I also just moved to a state that I can't stand being in, me and the hubby are having major financial issues, and I have no friends here because since I don't work, I don't meet new people ever. PLUS I share a car, so I am always stuck in my house, so, I think I might be a little depressed too.

Katie - posted on 01/25/2010

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maybe your iron levels are low... i was like that once and had a blood test and found out i have extremely low iron... i started taking an iron supplement and was sick the first week cause it was such a shock to my body but have sooo much more energy now and really enjoy everyday life... it's worth looking into! i also started seeing a chiropractor...sometimes if u have misalignments in ur spine it can cause sooo many problems healthwise and emotionally.

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