does anyone else feel like a single mum?

Annemaree - posted on 04/30/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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my husband has asked me to find a job so all the ones i have found are on his 2 days off sun n mon but he dosnt want me to take them as he dosnt want to look after the kids on sun for 6 hrs . every weekend he goes fishing with out us. the kids would luv to spend some time with there dad n i would luv to have a few hrs doing what i like doing too. im sic of feeling like a single mother i may as well go n be one....he complains when i take the kids to the park or fetes without him but he never here on his days off what does he expect us to sit at hme all weekend doing nothing while he is out having fun??? it really just pisses me of hes usually really good but because we are going through some financial trouble atm he seems to think that he dont need to spend time with his family

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Laura - posted on 05/03/2010

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Just wandering Cara... you can't get a job because he isn't able to look after him or doesn't want to? I hear this all the time and I even went through it. I have been married for 12 years and for the first half of it I felt like a single mom. Then I decided that I would just go do what I wanted. I gave him plenty of notice that I was going out. So I left and guess what, my kids were still alive when I got home! The more I left him alone with them, the more he got to know them. Now he loves spending time with them. I also had trouble with getting hubby to understand about the housework. But I explained that he goes to work for 8-10 hrs 5 days a week while I have to work all day everyday. I was worn out and tired of cleaning up after everyone. So I let it all go for a few days. I'm talking dishes, laundry, vacuum, dust, everything! He asked me why the house was a mess and I said I am tired of being a maid. And that until I got some help, I wasn't doing his laundry, washing his dishes, or anything of the sort. It only took a few days to convince him. (He didn't have clothes to wear to work) He told me that if there was something I needed help with then just ask. He said he didn't know I needed help because I did such a great job. I just assumed he knew I did cause I was drained all the time. I didn't want to do anything with him. Men are just straight forward people. They can't read our minds (thank God!) They don't get the obvious signals. They need things spelled out for them. I have learned that if I just say what I want, it works out for the both of us!

Cara - posted on 05/01/2010

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i feel the same..my parner works most days n when he does get time off he sleps in till lunchtime then either goes out to his shed or lays on the couch all day. he NEVER cleans up, hasn't changed a nappy and complains when his washing isnt done!! sometimes i feel like he is my child, not the man im going to marry...! he wont let me get a job cos he CANT look after our 16m old. i just wish he'd pay more attention to his son then on himself! so in response to your question..yeah i do feel like a single mum alot of the time lol

Eleanor - posted on 05/01/2010

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It sounds to me like he might want to do things with you and the Kiddos, Have you sat down and talked to him about what days are good for him to have a family day. He says that he gets upset if you got to parks ect. without him, but have you actually sat up a time that might work with his schedule and have it scheduled so that he don't make a fishing plans or time with his buddies. What about getting a friend to sit with the kids and having a date with him, or having a friend sit while you just go somewhere to even just read a book in your car. I have sat in a parking lot and just relaxed a few times. I also go scrapbooking at a local scrap shop once a month after my babies go to bed. My husband tends to be more inviting to sit for the kids if they are sleeping. LOL. I know that when I set up family days I have to remind my husband over and over again that these are happening. I know that my husband has grown alot in the past 17 years of being a dad. When our DS was born I had to take him everywhere with me. Now once a year I am able to leave for entire weekend with him staying behind to watch all 4 of the kids ( the youngest being 2). I hope that somewhere in this little blog there is some insite for you to make it through your rough time. GOOD LUCK!

Jennifer - posted on 05/01/2010

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i know exactly how you feel,i am a mother of 2 and my fiance works all day everyday while i stay home and cook and clean and take care of everything around the house, when he gets home my daughter,she is 3, asks daddy to sit on the floor and roll a ball with her and he just says im to tired to play, he watches tv and if she is talking he gets upset because he cant hear his tv, my son is 6 months old now and he has yet to change one diaper and has fed him maybe 3 bottles, i do not have a car at the moment so unfortunately i am stuck home day in and day out with the children, i try to make the best of what i have but its like if im going to cook, clean,do laundry and take care of my babies by myself why shouldnt i do it on my own..

Anna - posted on 05/01/2010

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hmmmm sounds complicated. I'm a mother of 3 and my husband works ALOT! I stay home and often the girls are in bed when the hubs gets home. It can be very very draining. I've felt like you often in my 6 1/2 years of being a mother. Hang in there! Try to stay positive that will help any relationship. I'll be thinking about you.

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