Does anyone else feel like they are put last???

Casey - posted on 08/27/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




I am currently staying at home w/ my 5 year old son, my boyfriends 5 year old son and his 7 year old daughter. There for I have NO income what so ever. The bills get paid and everything that the family needs. But I feel like my needs are put last. The kids get what they need and want, then my boyfriend gets what he needs and wants and then if there is a little money left I might get what I need or want.

I know that he feels like I dont need as much b/c he works a lot harder then me but that to me doesnt justify me being put last I dont think.

What are your thoughts on this? Any advise would be great as well.


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Crystal Boyd - posted on 08/28/2012




Its not so much asking permission to get something its asking how much extra cash we have n if we can afford it at that time

Bethany - posted on 08/28/2012




it's kinda the opposite for me, My husband comes last, then he doesn't have too many needs as long as there is some beer in the fridge he's all good, and even if there's not, he doesn't care too much, he's very easygoing and caring. If my daughter needs something, I don't think twice, but if my husband needs/wants something, he can buy it for himself, within our budget. He doesn't smoke, doesn't play any games in or out side the house, any money he usually does spend is on things for renovating our house, like drill bits and paint and things like that, because that's just what he enjoys doing, fiddling around in his shed and the house.

If I need/want something, and we can afford it, I get it for myself. I'm very important, I'm the Mum, and am a much nicer person when I'm happy. I also pay all the bills and monitor the budget, though it's not money I 'earned', it's my Family money and we all get our share.

I know what we can afford month to month, and spend accordingly. Sometimes a gal needs a haircut or a lunch out or some new clothing. As long as the bills are paid and the credit card is paid each week, I go for it. I find the better I treat myself, within reason, the better person I am.

I can't remember ever 'asking' for anything. That sounds a bit bizzarre to me. It's our money, and he trusts me, and we just make sure we check with eachother what our financial situation is when we want something 'extra' and usually, because we are usually so 'cheap' with our living expenses, we go for it. We're a team spending team money.

Crystal Boyd - posted on 08/27/2012




I feel the same we were on a very tight budget for a long time so I never asked for nething other than basics, shampoo conditioner ect. Now that we're doing ok and can afford to get extra things its like I always come last. He can go grocery shopping at Walmart n come back with a complete outfit . Its very frustrating. Lol. But the time its really got to me n I finally go off on him he pointed out that even when we're out amd I ask for something 90% of the time I put it back and get something for our kids. Or I don't ask at all.

User - posted on 08/27/2012




Your kids should always be put first, but your boyfriend should put your needs before his sometimes. I understand there are things that he needs and wants but so do you. You should talk to him and tell him how you feel.

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