Does anyone else get sick of being asked when your going back to work?

Julie - posted on 04/20/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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People ask me this all the time, and then are shocked when I tell them that I don't plan on it. I have four children ages 6, 5, 3 and 23 months and people seem to think it is my duty to go to work when they are all in school. My husband and I have talked about it and we both feel like I should be at home where I can help volunteer at the kids' school, do PTA and of course run all of them to their various activities. Honestly I am kind of looking forward to being able to clean my house without little people underfoot, hopefully keep up with the mounds of laundry that six people make etc. I have slowly been working on a degree in education online in case something, God forbid, happened to my husband and would go to work if I HAD too, but I don't want to. I really feel like for our family my place is in the home. Am I the only one who feels like this? Am I wrong to think I will be needed at home when my children are older?

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I feel the unspoken pressure of returning to work. I feel like people are wondering when will I work again. Honestly I don't want to, but find myself telling people I probably will when my girls go to school.

Paula - posted on 04/22/2009

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I am so happy you posted this and for the responses! Even my own parents don't understand why I want to stay home. I think being here for the kids is much more important than working so we can buy stuff. After daycare and the other costs associated with working at a law office, that's what it would amount to. So what if we have to rent for another year before we buy a house? So what if our biggest TV is only 27 inches? I get so much more being home and watching my 3 kids grow and learn than I could from any materialistic stuff!

Sam - posted on 04/21/2009

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Hi I'm a stay at home mum. I live in Southampton England and have one daughter who's 9. She was born with a rare condition and we spent the first 5yrs at hospital appointments. She is noe in the Hampsire Jr Judo Squad and the Southern Area Judo Kata team and trains 4-5 days a week and plays the Viola, thats before all the other things like home worke and partys!

People ask me when I'm going to get a job, I tell them I have one as a social secratert, personal shopper, cheff,maid...you get the idea.

Lizzie nearly died. Why would I want to miss out on a second of her life? Thats why I help out at school and with Hampshire county Judo.

Every one tells me how polite she is and how well behaved. Thats what the security of a stay at home mum give a kid!

bless you and your family Sam x

Melissa - posted on 04/21/2009

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Nope. That is my plan as well. When will all the laundry, dishes and cleaning get done as well? That is enought in a day.

Kim - posted on 04/21/2009

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I get it all the time. I have 3 and want more. Boy! When they hear that; I get a look like I just committed a mortal sin.

Kate - posted on 04/21/2009

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Like you, I don't honestly think that I could manage everything if I went back to work. This is of course apart from the fact that I and my husband combined wouldn't make enough money to pay childcare to do all that I do with my kids! My kids are 17, 9 and almost 6, and I am busier now than I was before they were all at school.



I am up to bring my daughter to catch her school bus, 3 mile round trip, first thing in the morning. I do the school run then, my sons school is 5 miles away and home to catch up on housework, laundry, etc. The boys finish at 2.10pm and 3.10pm, so I am barely home from collecting the younger one, when we are back into the car to get the older one. I have to come home in between runs, because I also collect some of the neighbours kids and have to drop them home. Homework, dinner, various sports training evenings and then into town (20 mile round trip) to collect my daughter from her extra study classes at 7.30/8pm. She is doing final exams this year and the stress is rising!!



Bedtime for the younger ones, and then finally I can sit and relax for a couple of hours before falling into bed myself. Combine this with minding three other kids under 7 part-time during the week, and I cannot find an hour to work outside the home, never mind a week!



I would ignore these people who obviously don't have a clue, they either don't have kids, or spend all their time at work and don't really understand what it means to be a stay at home mom! It is the hardest job in the world, and we don't even get paid for it. But we are there when they come home from school either with a problem, or an exciting bit of news, and then it is all worth it.



Keep up the good work Julie, and ignore those others, they are probably just jealous anyway!! :)

Jessica - posted on 04/20/2009

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No, you are not wrong! Believe it or not, sometimes you're needed even more. I also stay home-my kids are 11, 8 and 1. As the kids have gotten older, I have been very involved with volunteering at their school and with PTA. This has led to me being able to substitute teach at the school as well. But I don't do it often because there is much need at home. The older kids need me there in case they get sick, need a chaperone on a field trip, etc. Not to mention all the running after school for volleyball, baseball, choir, etc. The job just seems to get bigger! And of course the little ones need us there all the time. Kudos to you for standing your ground-this is the most important job there is!

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