Does anyone else have body issues because of stretch marks?

Jennifer - posted on 08/23/2009 ( 36 moms have responded )

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I only gained 25lbs with my pregnancy, but because of severe morning sickness, in the beginning, I gained it all fast and at the end. So now my stomach, thighs, and part of my calfs are covered in stretch marks. I have no self esteem now. I dont even want my hubby to see them. Anyone else feel the same? Anyone find a way over their insecurities?

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User - posted on 08/23/2009

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I had the same thing happen to me with my first child. Gained all the weight at the end and had a ton of stretch marks because of it. It was really hard learning to like my new post baby body, and I still have issues with it on occasion. Just know that they will not be red forever. They will fade and you will notice them much less. I have taken on the attitude that, they are my marks of motherhood and my children are worth it. You will get used to your "new body" eventually. My husband still loves my body, stretch marks and all (God bless him ;)). I felt much better about myself about 9 months into being a mommy. By then, they should have faded and you should be getting much more rest and have more energy. Try not to worry about it right now. Enjoy your little one. They grow way to fast.

[deleted account]

I felt bad when my kids were younger about the stretch marks, too..until my husband said that they were tattoos of beauty. I looked at him like he was crazy, but he said they were reminders of our children. He said that each time he saw them they brought back the good experience of the day they were born. I realized that if I looked at it as a reminder of the good experience it didn't make me feel so insecure.

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36 Comments

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Missy - posted on 09/09/2009

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Like everyone else who commented, I too have the battle scars. But I also have streched out skin on my stomach that just hangs and it really sucks. I am only 4'7" so when I was pregnant, I have 2 boys now, 4 and 2, I got huge because my stomach had to stretch way out to compensate for my small stature. I have lost all my pregnancy weight and even a couple extra pounds, but the stretch marks and extra skin are still there. I have stretch marks on my stomach clear up to my belly button and also on my hip and thighs really bad. I will say that they have definetly faded over the last couple years and aren't as noticible which is good, but sometimes can be hard to look at. But when I kindof start feeling bad about my body all I have to do is look at my beautiful boys and I feel better. While I don't like what pregnancy has done to my body, I wouldn't change it for anything cause I have all the joy in the world in those 2 boys of mine. As they say, it is a right of passage to become a mom. Unfortunatley, it is worse for some than others. Also, like pretty much everyone else, my hubby sees nothing but beauty in me, no matter what I think of myself. You need to give hubby a chance because he will probably surprise you. I know it is hard to show yourself to anyone else when u don't like what you see, but let him be the judge for himself. Most men really aren't as superficial as we think they are. :) Good luck to you and your family.

Susi - posted on 08/30/2009

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bio oil i've just started using it and my stretch more are going now and even my partner has notice and its only be a week

[deleted account]

I used "Mother's Cream" and got rid of most of my stretch marks. It Works! marketing has some defining gel that is suppose to be excellent for stretch marks.

Jane - posted on 08/30/2009

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i went thru puberty at age 9 and sprouted up and out over night. i hated my stretch marks. but now that i am a MOM, i wear them with pride! i put myself back in a two piece bikini b/c i am a MOM. i have carried my children, nursed them and it is the most important thing i have done so far in my life. wear your stretch marks with pride!!! i'm sure our men have them too, but aren't ours much better founded??? my body has shifted all over but look at the reason why. what an accomplishment! be a positive example for your little girl!

Jennifer - posted on 08/29/2009

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Thank you everyone! You all have helped me so much! If any of you want to add me as a friend that'd be great! I could always use a fellow mommy to talk to :)

Nyssa - posted on 08/29/2009

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I had body issues long before I had children. I got a ton of stretchmarks on my hips and thighs when I was pregnant with my first. I gained 60+ pounds! The stretchmarks will fade, I promise.
And now, I'm 8 months PP with my second child, and I still have 40 pounds to lose.
I really don't want my husband to see me naked, either. It's hard to get "intimate" unless it's dark and I'm wearing a shirt!

Christina - posted on 08/27/2009

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I think Tanya said it best! My son is 2 now, so most of my stretch marks have almost completely faded away, but I still won't be caught dead in a bikini! My fiance has to remind me occasionally that my body has changed dramatically (and for the better I think!) and that I carried a person within me and that is a miracle in itself. : )

Lauren - posted on 08/27/2009

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Don't worry sweety I know how you feel I was only16 when I had my first son and they were all over my stomach . I was embarressed for a very long time too. Remember thats your badge of motherhood. and I'm sure they bother you more than your husband he loves you for how you are the mommy of his babies.

Toocute2086 - posted on 08/27/2009

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listen, my son is 2 now and i managed to gain 100 pounds....lol....still holding onto about 75 of it...i swear my body was never ato be pregnant....as much as i love being a mom...im 23 and live in central florida and i think ive only been to the beach about 5 times and i cried when i had to go to the "old lady" section to get a new swim suit....i keep telling my husband that my body will never be the same and he keeps telling me that im redicilous and that if i just hit the gym everything would go back to normal...lol...i think he is crazy....anyway, this is the first time in my life that im actually considering saving up for plastic surgery....i cant be all alone here.....i just want to look like im 23 again...you know.

Yvonne - posted on 08/27/2009

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yes. and no. they bother me. of course. how could they not i have them on my belly, legs, and breasts - im very small so any growth must have been hard on my body. but when i ketch myself critizing myself about them, i remind myself that my body created 2 lives. which is crazy that we are able to do that so i remember that my body is amazing and i kinda feel proud of those ugly stretch marks.

Penny - posted on 08/27/2009

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Stretch marks are part of childbearing. Some of us get them, some of us don't. Your spouse will have to accept you as you are, and so will you. They are there and they aren't going anywhere. No one looks like a cover model, not even the cover models. Their photos are FIXED! We are all human beings and we all have the same flaws at some point or another. Look in the mirror and smile at yourself because you are a mom, and you should be very proud to have accomplished that.

Amanda - posted on 08/27/2009

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oh my word i thought i was the only 1 i thought that a bit of bio oil wud clear them right up but no that didnt wrk . even though i have accepted they will always b there theres a bit of me that is upset that i will never wear a bikini again. Then i look at my son and think they are all worth it and my partner dosent seem to mind then he says they are reminders of when he had to put up with lol.

Amanda - posted on 08/26/2009

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I have stretch marks all over my stomach and will never wear a 2 peice bathing suit agian but I am sure your husband doesn't mind he loves you for you with or without stretch marks

[deleted account]

my stretch marks are awful to ...so try not to feel to bad... its all part of the being pregnant mine literally caused me to be depressed ,but i over came it just by reminding myself that nearly all moms get these unbareable things..so hold ur chin up and tell urself your beautiful just the way u are !! And don't worry about being embarressed around ur husband I bet he loves you the way u are !! My husband says the ones on my stomach reminds him of fire ,lmao !!! he is soooooooo crazy....

Cristina - posted on 08/25/2009

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Hi, lady, I used to cry often about the beating my skin took during the last weeks of my pregnancy, I have them all the way up to my sternum, on my hips, bottom, arms, thighs and breast, this is the price we mothers have to pay, well most of us anyway, to have a beautiful child, we go through this and get the " battle scars" as my husband calls them, he says that I should feel proud of them for they will always remind me that I'm a mom for the rest of my days, and to be honest with you, most men don't really care about them, usually your partner only cares about you and just you, so don't stress too much over them, although, you can easy the way they look by using cocoa butter and vitamin E extract right on them, it works and it lightens them very much. hope it helps.

Lauren - posted on 08/25/2009

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Not sure where you are but you might Google SCENAR. My husband is a physiotherapist in Newport Beach, NSW, Australia who is trained in SCENAR therapy & can reduce stretch marks. It's a non-invasive, non chemical therapy out of Russia that is starting to gain credibility around the world. It is amazing technology & not just for stretch marks. Anyway, hope that is helpful!

Stacy - posted on 08/25/2009

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I like to think of them as badges of honor...lol

I gained 50 lbs with my son and had them pretty bad all over...at first I couldn't bring myself to wear a bathing suit without a t-short and shorts (yeah, I went swimming in all those clothes!)...but, eventually over time (many years) with exercise, healthy eating habbits, plenty of water and lotion (always, always mosturize your skin after showering!! Also, don't forget sunscreen!) they've faded so significantly that they're not noticable...even pointing them out, my girlfriends and husband can barely make them out without squinting and getting their face real close...lol

So don't worry, you'll be fine, you'll see...=)

Meagan - posted on 08/25/2009

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i have used citrus oil and it has made my stretch marks fade dramatically..although i know that they will always be there...i feel better knowing that they are not as obvious

Jody - posted on 08/25/2009

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I have the same problem! My first son was 10 pounds even, (my perfect 10!). He was totally worth it but... I do hate my saggy belly. It is so bad that my OBGYN brought up the possibility of a tummy tuck! I know other women choose this option but I cannot justify it on our income.

Fortunately my husband tells me I'm beautiful and appreciates the sacrifice I made to have our kids. This helps a ton! I love my guy!

I know it's hard, but try to remember that many other moms have gone before you in this stretch mark adventure. You are not alone. Those scars are a lasting reminder of a miraculous time in your life and you have accomplished so much. They are a small price to pay for such a lasting reward!

Brittany - posted on 08/25/2009

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get the some cream for them i got some olive oil stretch mark cream and they disappeared

Jodi - posted on 08/25/2009

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The post-body is a truly complicated web of esteem issues. I lost the belly weight fairly quickly, but am fighting to keep it off. That and the stretch marks make things seem hopeless, and at times depressing. I noticed If I took some time, and worked on me with possibly some earrings, make-up, and some slightly loose clothes to make me feel like a woman with some control again.

I know these slowly fading purple stretch marks, are a thing that will pass and I need to realize it was part of an amazing experience. We are always insecure over things we cannot fully control, but If you took steps to work with coping it would make things less complicated.

Rachel - posted on 08/24/2009

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I think we all have our battlescars after pregnancy in some way or another..one may not have the stretch marks but they have the saggy pouchy tummy, and saggy boobs..
=(..sigh..its all in the way you look at it I think..I try to play up the things I'm not embarrassed about, instead of concentrating on what I hate..oh! try spray on tans at the tanning salon..you'd be surprised how much you can camoflauge with that! good luck!

Tina - posted on 08/24/2009

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One thing that seems to be a comman thread in these replies, is that strech marks bother we woman much more than our partners. This is so true. I was 21 with my first, and only gained 20lbs., but had vivid red and purple strech marks, that really made me feel awful.All I can tell you is they do fade in time, and for most people they are never as bad as the first pregnancy. I am now 49, and three kids later, those harsh red , broad,lines have faded into very light silvery lines, that you can barely notice.I wish I would of known that was going to eventually be the case when I was younger.I could of saved myself some angst. Hope this helps.

[deleted account]

I'm fortunate enough not to have stretch marks BUT I do have body issues. Having and nursing babies just changes our bodies. I don't look like me anymore. My husband doesn't have any complaints, he still thinks I'm beautiful. When I complain about my shape he says, "You're not fat, you're experienced." So I try to think of it as being a medal of honor. I'm a momma to two gorgeous children and they are worth any sacrifice it might have made to my figure. (I do have to remind myself of this often though :)

Josie - posted on 08/24/2009

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Be pround that you are a mommy of a beautiful baby... and if that is all that you had to give to have such a great treasure then isnt that worth it...

Jamie - posted on 08/24/2009

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Also dont forget , we women dont realize this but its true...our men dont give two shits about stretch marks ,they love us, as im sure ur man loves u , stretch marks and all ! if nothing else i hope this makes u laugh

Jamie - posted on 08/24/2009

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Jennifer i know exactly how u feel except i tend to take a lighter approach on it. While others may say "well u got a beautiful baby out of it" is true, i know that doesnt change the fact that when u see them (stretch marks) u want to cry, however there isnt much u can do about them, while they will fade over time and a little "Sally Hansen's airbrush legs" spray works pretty good when u wanna wear some shorts/dress, they r yours to keep, im not saying this to upset u im saying this to let u know to smile about this bc just about every woman u see walking the street has them, and im not talking about those young, skinny B*&^^%#s, (who by the way will possibly have children one day and it will happen to them , so keep that in mind) or the airbrushed ads in the magazine

Jocelyn - posted on 08/23/2009

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oh hunny i gained 60 lbs with my first, stretchmarks galore!!!! and those were on top of the ones i already had from puberty :( they aren't fun, i'm most self conscience about the ones on my belly, so i have learned how to use lingerie to my advantage (ie, corsets). i have been using bio oil, and it seems to be working. it's not working miracles mind you, but i do definitely think that they are fading... i have stretchmarks on my calves, and i am working on some nice tattoos to cover the majority (the ones on my calves and thighs i got when i was a young teenager, so they have faded away for the most part, so they are easy to cover with tattoos (luckily hubby is a tattoo artist lol)
i'm preg again and going for some maternity photos soon, and i am going out to buy some camouflage makeup to cover up my stretchmarks :)
oh and i am also a fan of thigh high nylons for in the, ahem, bedroom lol they cover quite a lot, and dh likes them too!

April - posted on 08/23/2009

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You are not the only one sweetie. It is rough after having your firstborn. Because before you got prego you felt beautiful to your hubby and he adored you. Then as you got prego he noticed the weight gain but was kind and generous to you because you are a beautiful pregnant woman. Then after having a baby you have all the battle scars and that is when it is the hardest. I remember feeling so disgusted looking at myself and thinking oh my husband is going to be disgusted to. But instead, he encouraged me and never teased or gave me dirty looks. He told me he understood that I just had a baby and I was not going to bounce back. It has now been 3 years and I still have the "battle scars" and my husband doesn't even notice them:) I think we judge ourselves harsher than our husbands. We know this yet it is still hard to forget about. I hope that with time your insecurities will become less and you will see what a beautiful woman you are and what a beautiful wife you are and what a beautiful mommy you are. To our husbands our beauty IS seen both inside and outside:)

Tanya - posted on 08/23/2009

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Think of it this way, when men go to war and get injured they are proud of their scars because they are scars from something they are proud of and were the result of something they believed in. Our stretch marks our our battle scars. They tell our story of how we became women and created a life. It's what separates us from the girls. If the result of your stretchmarks are a beautiful life that you created and your man still loves you, then it's all good honey.

Rebecca - posted on 08/23/2009

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yes, your not alone, i too have body issues that all poped up during and after pregnancy.

i am covered in stretch marks breasts/arms/stomach/thighes/behind my knees/ hips.

for the longest time i didnt let my partner touch me i felt like i was the uglyest thing around, but as soon as my man told me that he loves me no matter what and that all my stretch marks are to show that i have had a heaslthy baby boy and that he admired them because i got them from growing a baby.

i was told that bio oil/vit e cream/ect would help themm to go away or not come at all but none of that worked for me. then my mum told me that women are predisposed to stretch marks if there is a family history of them, and in my case there was on both sides of my family.

i have found the best bay for me to come to terms with my post baby body is to use a moisturiser that i love and use it often it makes me feel heaps better.

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