Does anyone ever feel isolated being a stay at home mom?

Kylie - posted on 03/20/2012 ( 248 moms have responded )

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Hi! I stay home with my 13 month old son. I love him

More then anything, and appreciate the fact that I am able to stay home with him, but I feel super isolated. I don't have many friends with kids and it can get very lonely even though I feel busy chasing my son around. Does anyone ever feel this way?

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Monie586 - posted on 03/21/2012

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Wow and I thought I was the only one same I love my four year old son and one year old bby girl but sometime I feel its too much I can handle cleaning cookin and my kids but knowing my friends are busy workin and I have to wake up nd do it again smh I feel like im loosing myself im becoming who I need to be and not what I want to be

Christina - posted on 03/23/2012

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YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! My hubby even gets to go out with his friends while I stay home with my 13 months daughter. Some days I feel like im gonna loose my mind and by the end of the week im in such a mood, and my man just cant understand.He says he would llove to be home all day and entertain baby, but come the weekend al he wants to do is get out. I would like to see him last 3 weeks being home everyday day in and day out. Its crazy but God has given us some special gift to this our whole life

Latrail - posted on 03/20/2012

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Kylie, I feel the same way. I have a 5 year old son in kindergarden and I stay at home with my 3 year old daughter and I love my babies to death but I am going crazy. I don't know any stay at home moms, everyone has a job and when I do get to be around grown up, its like I don't have anything to talk to them about but my kids and husband.

Dorothy - posted on 03/21/2012

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My friends are from church.



Also try Meetup.com... this is where I found various mom groups around my area.



Going to the library's story times may introduce you to other moms in your area.

Kylie - posted on 03/21/2012

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Thank goodness I'm not alone! I was always so successful when I was working that now its hard not to get the same recognition. I feel like I have no social life. Im glad I'm not alone! You would think with so many other women feeling this way, there would be more moms groups!

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248 Comments

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D - posted on 05/08/2014

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Yes, I do feel like that and right now I can't take it anymore. You can write to me if you want.

Alison La - posted on 09/27/2013

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See if there's a Mothers' Center by you. It saved me when I felt the very same way.

Leens - posted on 12/10/2012

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Yes certainly I do...I too have quit working and am now a full time mother but I do feel isolated and depressed at times, although I love my kid a lot

AngD - posted on 12/04/2012

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I feel the same way. I have a 6 and 10 year old. I have to work nights to accomodate their schedules but in the day am feeling so lonely and isolated. IM me if we are on at the same time. devriesangie@yahoo.com

Isabella - posted on 12/04/2012

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i feel this way all the time and i have not had my daughter yet:/ i just feel like people dont wanna hang out with a pregnant girl because i cant do much

Lonely - posted on 12/02/2012

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Hi, yes i do, my baby is 14 months and I'm very happy to be with her , but my husband make me feel like nothing, very depress....

Miad - posted on 11/30/2012

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Yes!!!!! But u know what once I started taking my 11 month old baby regularly to a play group life is becoming better n more fun!!

Amy - posted on 11/30/2012

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Story of my life! I moved almost 2 hours away from my family and friends to where my husband has lived for several years and for the last 2 years I have been a SAHM. I have a 2 year old daughter and an almost 11 month old son. I absolutely love the fact that I get to stay at home with them, but I have absolutely no friends where I live... My husband works 5-6 days a week 10 hours a day so i hardly even get to spend time with him. There is really no one my age that lives around me or has young kids that I can hang out with. I get so lonely. And now my daughter is going through the worst case of "terrible 2s" any child has ever gone through (lol) and she makes it so hard for me to even pack the kids up to go to the grocery store! I very rarely get out of the house. All I do is clean up after them, cook dinner so my hubby has a hot dinner to come home to, clean up after that and do laundry all while chasing the kids around the house and dealing with a puppy on top of that! Don't get a puppy when you already have 2 kids 2 and under and you are the only one home to take care of EVERYTHING! You will feel like you are going insane! My husband just doesn't understand! He seems to think that I "sit on the couch all day" and, in his words, "eat bon-bons" He asks me all the time how I can possibly think that staying home is a hard job! Sometimes I'd like to smack him upside the head then leave the house for 10 hours 5-6 days a week just so he can get a small taste of what I go through... Right now at this moment my kids are terrorizing the house! toys so thick on the floor you can hardly see the carpet! but they are happily dancing to the Fresh Beat Band while doing so... so i decided to sit down, in the kitchen... seems like the place I belong... so i can get a few minutes to myself where I dont have a kid climbing on me. Ha can you tell i don't get out much? Anywho, it's nice to see that I'm not the only one who feels this way!! I know how you all feel!!

Chelsea - posted on 11/30/2012

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i feel the same exact way i am home 24/7 with my child i love being a stay at home mom but i get very lonely when you have no friends and ur husbands constantly working so i undestand completly where ur coming from.

Kerri - posted on 11/22/2012

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Hey ladies I am a married Mum to 7 an I live in Australia, my oldest is 15 an I have been a stay at home Mum with her since I was pregnant with her. We have just started a business from home, an in the process of starting it on line aswell. But anyway, for the last 5 years I have been homeschooling so I don't get much social life. Even though I have all my children home you do still need that adult conversation. But what got me through the years was penpalling believe it or not. I have met some wonderful ladies, I even met my best friend through penpalling 8 years ago. I know not everyone likes to do something like that. I have about 20 penpals and I get afew letters aweek, I love it and couldn't see myself not writing..... I just thought I would mention it to you all and try and help you out a little.....

Katie - posted on 11/21/2012

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I feel the same all the time,My boyfriend has 2 children ages 8 & 7 so I am a stay at home girlfriend/Mother figure... That or I always feel I am not doing enough while my boyfriend is at work...

I have a few friends around the area but we only go over and hangout when the kids are at there Mothers every other weekend.

Megan Karrle - posted on 11/20/2012

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It does get frustrating staying home all the time. My car quit running the day I went in to be induced (dr recommended induction as my daughter was 10 days late at that point), that was 8 months ago. We have had it worked on and have one thing, that we know of, that needs to be replaced but we can't afford it and it's almost not worth it. Aside from that, it rains quite a bit where we live and we moved here only a month before I had my daughter so I don't really know anyone. I've noticed that I get very excited when I get to take my husband's car and go to the store. My husband always asks if we're all going or if just him or I am going and he knows that at least once a week I'm going alone and that I will most likely be gone for a minimum of one hour. My daughter and I also go for a walk on days it's not pouring and I stop and talk to various people along the way if I can because even a mundane how's the weather conversation is a nice respite from the all day baby chatter. I very much want to move back to California and be near our families again - I've never missed them all so much in my life! Not to mention, we could simply go out and play more often without worrying about the rain and gray skies. Also, you can constantly move your furniture around to break up looking at the same space all day.

Vanessa - posted on 11/18/2012

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This is likely how most mums feel well I sure for one do. It's really important to give yourself some what I call me time. When a friend first told me that I was like yeah right but now I do I'm positive it makes me a better mummy as I'm more rounded and have more to offer my little tikes.



Vee

Dawn - posted on 11/18/2012

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im with you on that feeling i have a 18month old and pregnant right now dont get out much unless my husband is home or i have the energy i have convo's with my son even though he dont know half what im saying...lol i think i know just about every episode of the cartoons on nick jr..i count down the hours till my husband returns .i love my son but i wish i had more of a social life lol

Dawn - posted on 11/18/2012

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im with you on that feeling i have a 18month old and pregnant right now dont get out much unless my husband is home or i have the energy i have convo's with my son even though he dont know half what im saying...lol i think i know just about every episode of the cartoons on nick jr..i count down the hours till my husband returns .i love my son but i wish i had more of a social life lol

Lady - posted on 11/18/2012

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Hi. My son is six months. Just six months and i havent seen any of my friends or go out anywhere since i gave birth to him. Its highly depressing but i always try to find something i enjoy doing to cheer me up but im running out of ideas. :-( To make matters even more difficult my child is a special care baby. He developed a bacteria (he was born at 32 weeks gestation) and has to wear a colostomy bag. He has had two operation done and has one more next month...hopefully the last one. How do you cope with something like that? I'm glad to be home with him but would enjoy the company of others or even go to an event every now and again. I wouldn't even talk about sleepless nights. thats a different chapter. Men just put on a deaf ear when you tell them how you feel. My mom would help but i would have to catch a plane just to see her.

Jillian - posted on 11/17/2012

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I know how you feel. I have a similar situation, except my one friend just moved away so now there is no one. I am so depressed and dont know what to do.

Beth - posted on 11/16/2012

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Yes, sometimes I too feel isolated at home. But with family all day with you, you hardly get such moments. Try to develop few hobbies like reading, painting etc.to avoid these frustrating moments. And be positive.

Rose Anna - posted on 11/14/2012

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I feel the exact same way. Staying at home with children is a difficult road to travel, but will sooo be worth it in the long run. Hang in there! That's what circle of moms is for:)

Katherine - posted on 11/08/2012

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Yes. It gets worse years down the line. Get to know some friends with kids as acquaitances at least and stay in touch even loosely. Build a little bit of a life of your own now. Join a group.The longer you wait, the harder it is.

Katherine - posted on 11/08/2012

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Yes. I felt isolated but really enjoyed my kids. As they get older, it is imperative that you branch out and have a life of your own before you feel weakened by years of nurturing and caring, and your child just leaves and expects you to be mom and be ok on your own. Take care of yourself in little ways now. I learned this the hard way. Become friends with people who have kids your age and keep in touch with them a little. It will help in later years.

Melissa - posted on 11/06/2012

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Hi there



I am also a stay at home mum, with a son who is 29 months old. I have been off work the whole time, and as much as I love spending time with him, it does make me feel isolated also. I only have a couple of people I know who has younger children, but, they always seem busy. I guess the best thing to do is take him to play groups regularly to meet other mums, and keep him occupied.

Your not alone.

User - posted on 11/06/2012

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Every day! I take him to playgym twice a week but Im the minority in my area and dont have much to talk about with the other moms. Ive tried programs, but I hate things that unorganized and have not gone back to many. I go to Bikram yoga at night, but it's not really me time and some days I feel like it just pushes me more than I want to be but the teachers dont, I do myself. You're not alone. My sons the same age. Best of luck and try to get out there!

Bubby - posted on 11/04/2012

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I feel the same way too. I don't have any friends nearby and my sister is out of state as well. I just feel so bored and isolated most of the time. My husband works graveyard shift so when he comes home he sleeps most of the day and it feels the same anyway. I love my boys to the moon and back and I love spending time with them and all, I would just like to get out more and go places. Mind you I'm not really big on the bar/clubbing thing so my favorite thing to do is to take my boys to the park or just go somewhere "natural". I feel more refreshed in natural settings. I'm just getting so sick of waiting for him to go anywhere or even want to do anything. Even after he gets his rest, it seems as though he just makes up more excuses to not go anywhere. I'm just about fed up with it. I just want to take my boys to the park!

Kitty - posted on 10/31/2012

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i feel the same way my husband work hard his an union ironworker so he work outside and i understand that but i wish he understand what i feel being a stay home mom too, he never experience being alone with our 17 months old all day all night, and i wish he knows any chores aorund our house so he can he help me, i do everything form cooking twice a day everyday, i clean and organize almost everyday when my son is sleeping and i have to make his lunch even the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he cant do it. i told him if i can have at least an hour me time but never happen.

he gets off works at 4 or somtimes OT around 6pm he goes to bed around 9pm, and when he gets off work he'll go straight watching TV or Facebooking i reminds him everytime he gets off work in sarcastic voice "oh hi son how are you"??? i told him that at atleast half an hour give my son attention, i'm tired being a nagger and one time i told him i just wanna go back to my roots to have my very peaceful life i come from the philippines, and so does he but he was born and raised in seattle. i told him that i love to go back to the philippines for a year but he wont let me.

and i feel like i dont know myself anymore, i am very unattouched with the reality.

i just wanna be happy again i love my husband and my son but i want my me time sometimes.

Robin - posted on 10/30/2012

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Hi ! I have been a stay home mom for 7 years, and yes i feel isolated all the time, especially now that the winter months are approaching my home state soon. Although my kids are much older: 21,19, and 17. I have no car to get out, and most of my friends live far away.

Janelle - posted on 10/27/2012

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Kylie and Ermine!



You both need to join a mothers group so you have some kind of network. Isolation can have an horrible effect on a mother'ss self esteem and confidence especially those that don't have a family network. Try to connect with other mothers at day care or pre school so you have someone that can support you emotionally. It may take time but give it a go. I think this if vital to your well being! Fathers/husband/partners can only do so much in this area. Its not a male domain if you get my drift. Mothers connect in so many different ways and it can be very gratifying. Remember it is a very quick time in your childs life as your child grows up you will meet other families down the track and become more involved in their schooling. So sit tight, you will connect with someone when you take the time and will to reach out. I wish you both the best.

Ermine - posted on 10/27/2012

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I could'nt have said it better, thats exactly what I''m going through at the present, what makes it worst is I moved out of state from NJ to GA and have no family here...:(

Chanthana - posted on 10/25/2012

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All the time. I don't get phone calls because my friends don't know when a good time to call is. Truth is there never really is a good time. I don't go out to friends house around as much... to hard with all the kids. I have a two boys 3, 1 and one 5 month old girl. My two boys are a lot of work so all I do is watch my kids at home. I don't have cable or TV, only internet. So when I want to connect it is internet only. Then when I feel like I need to see another human being I go to the grocery store., but I can only do that when their father is home .

Julie - posted on 10/24/2012

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absolutely...in more ways than one, when you have kids, your life kind of stops. it's unavoidable.



you are not alone.

Maria - posted on 10/17/2012

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i do i thought i was the only one even sometimes i feel boring i have a 6 year old in kinder nd a 3 year old at home im tired of doing the same thing over and over again i have no social life.

Beth - posted on 10/14/2012

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Every mother has to pass this phase. But for me you should be involved with something even if you get free from your kid for 2-3 hours. Either you should invest your time in work at home jobs or you should be continuing with your hobbies and interests, whatever they are.

Athanasia - posted on 10/13/2012

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I used to have a career, lots of friends and I was traveling a lot. Now I have three kids, one 5 years old and two 19 months (twins). These days I mostly talk to my friends over the phone or by emails. Do not get me wrong, I adore my kids, they are my life, but there are times I think I going to explode.

Sometimes I have the feeling that I am watching someone else's life.

That's why I decided to start doing things that I like when everybody goes to sleep. Before I go to bed I give one hour to myself to do whatever. Watch tv, read a book, write or drink a glass of wine... I say to my husband," Do not ask or tell me anything, this is my hour",...except if one of the kids starts crying, then...... So do not worry, think yourself as one pearl on a necklace. You might lost your oyster and the beautiful ocean, but you are part of an expensive magnificent necklace!

Cass - posted on 10/12/2012

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tell me about it. my only baby is 9 months, hes totally awesome and does all kinds of hilarious things and its great and everything. hubby is working all the time, and we live in a new town. i don't have trouble socializing but its not too convenient going anywhere with the baby. i'll have to check out a moms group, sounds like a good idea. i like having friends and everything, but its more the alone-time freedom that i miss. freedom to go do whatever, whenever without a single worry. even when i do get out - for grocery shopping :/ - i'm always in a panic to get home asap even if its for less than an hour because hubbs freaks out if the baby cries like its the end of the world. this always ruins my mood. plus he always wants a nap in the aft cause hes so tired from work so 95% of the time i have to take the baby unless hes gone for a nap too. so it can definitely be depressing, my world will be black where everything is negative and shitty. i go for walks with the baby, and i always get everything done like dishes, laundry and cleaning because that makes me feel really good. after awhile accomplishing tasks seems to lose its positive effect. and there i am only looking at the negative side of everything. which in turn makes me have a low libido, and that is annoying. usually i have to trick myself out of depression. i'll think about how lucky i am to have a supportive hubby who provides for us, i have to remember the times when i was working & just wishing that i would never have to work, i have to eat really healthy or else i'll get grumpy, and just try to keep busy, if the house is messy then my mind is messy so if things aren't clean i'm more likely to get depressed. this website has even helped a bit to be honest haha. but yeah it sucks to have to have all these ways to prevent getting down. i hate tv, i feel like a drone when i watch tv. sometimes i'll watch movies or whatever but i feel so ashamed if i just watch tv all day, i need challenges, and i need to have my ego stroked once in awhile - not gonna lie.

Liliana - posted on 10/10/2012

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I do I have been a stay at home mom for 5 years . from a real estate agent to a stay at home mom that was a BIG change in my life . now i do not fill accomplished . dont get me wrong I love my family the are loving . but depression, sadness, anger and worry have taken a part in my life also ;'(



We as human beings are not meant to be alone. The more we’re alone, the more we look at all the things we feel are not right with our lives. It contributes to people getting into a negative, self-attacking mentality

Arlene - posted on 10/09/2012

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i feel this way all the time and i wish i had someone to hang out with and my kids can have a playdate too

Arlene - posted on 10/09/2012

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i feel this way all the time and i wish i had someone to hang out with and my kids can have a playdate too

Momof2bys - posted on 10/06/2012

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Hi! I am a stay at home mom of two boys school age. Yes, they both attend school full-time.

I try and keep myself busy by attending school online to completing my Bachelor’s degree. Making friends has been difficult for me. As adult I have been bullied by three adult women who have children the same age as mine in our neighborhood.



Needless to say this bullying takes place at the bus stop each morning. It hard to believe and I don't know how to react because I don't want to say anything in front of the children. This is an adult problem. The only solution I have come up with this school is year is the boys are car riders in the morning and bus riders in the afternoon. This way I do not have to deal with this twice in one day. This has been going on since our oldest son began Kindergarten. It going on four years now. We do not have any family close by. I do not have a social life outside of my family. We attend church and Bible study regulatory.

Rachel - posted on 09/23/2012

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I spent two years at home with my kids and it was the WORST time of my life. I think I would have coped better if it was part time working and at home but full time was terrible. My daughter will be 2 in Nov and my son is 3.

I went to counselling and that helped. Get your son into daycare part time - it will change your life and do something else. Your son will love it too coming home to a mum that is super happy to see him and having stuff to talk about. Being around other kids, making friends and other people having FUN.

Being able to escape into a job, study or anything is so fantastic. You can be a person again a real person. You can talk to people about other stuff, real stuff like gossip and coffee and girls nights out.

Life's too short. Get out of the house. xx

Janet - posted on 09/19/2012

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I feel the exact same way... a lot. I feel incredibly lucky to have been able to stay with my son so long (he's about to start Preschool!) and now that he's starting school I will finally be getting (oh no, don't say it!) yes, a job....Honestly it would help to find some mother who live by me...

Roberta - posted on 09/19/2012

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Hello My name is Birdie, I am on here for the 1st time . I seen your comment and I thought I could share my experience... I know there are many ways in which we feel isolated at times. I am a stay at home Mom who homeschools I love it at times but I to miss the work force I am so good with people but everyday I get up clean, school work , try to spend time with my wonderful husband. I do feel isolated at times But I do take a me Time commitment. I am not totally away from the house from my family but I have learned when to put them on hold for a while. Here are my suggestions. I set the tv to program colombo at 7pm on sundays when the program pops on its me time. I have found small ways to make it feel like its time for me. I keep my cosmetic case with lotions beside my couch when I sit down I pamper my self. These are just small ways to think of yourself for the moment may not get you out for a bingo night but at least gives you that break for a few moments this to can help you not to feel so isolated to your baby. I also bought a trampoline for my front room. I have started an online course for the fall as well. Keep you and your mind active good luck kid any more advice just ask hope this helps hon

Maria - posted on 09/17/2012

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hi i am a stay at home mum with a 3 and a half year old and a 23 month old and like you feel isolated some times but have you tried out any of the parent and toddler groups in your area as this will help loads and you will meet others in the same situation as yourself. i have no support here most of the time as my husband is a serving member of royal navy and is away most of the time and the toddler groups really help just get that contact with other adults is great.

Niki - posted on 09/17/2012

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Take heart. The best thing in the world to talk to anyone about is your kids and your husband...lol. Be careful and don't get caught up on some of the "newer" way of thinking out there. It wont be long before you find women who can relate about the most important things kn your life and theirs.....God and their family. You may find you have more in common with a little bit older women at first.....but then their daughters and others will share your views.

Niki

Ruby - posted on 09/16/2012

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I know how you feel. My daughter is almost 3 & my son just turned 1. It's not easy staying at home & running the household. Men have it easy because they work, raising a child is 24/7. Hang in there:)

User - posted on 09/16/2012

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It is too bad we don't live in the same area. We would never feel alone again! I am starting to feel like I don't want to get out of bed because I have nothing to look foward to. I am greatful for this website so that I can connet to other moms. Thanks Girls!

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