Does anyone ever get tired of punishing their child?

Bri - posted on 04/15/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Does any MAMA get tired of punishing over and over again. I wish i can learn effective parenting. thinking a class might help our blended family!

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Shannon - posted on 04/15/2011

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Its never fun to be the "enforcer" it can get old but it won't last forever, one day you will be able to just sit back and you won't even have to raise your voice and the kid will listen. I have 4.....15,12, 6 and 4 (my oldest 2 have birthday's within next 2 months, 2 teenagers yay me!) The only child i am currently trying to "train" is the 2 yr old i babysit 3 days a week and she actually is doing really well. When my oldest one was little i had to do A LOT of trial by error, i have now effectively gotten a "system" down. It required patience but it is well worth it. On any given Thursday you can find me with three kids ages 2,4 and 6 out for lunch and shopping. We do not have meltdowns, fighting or tantrums. While i am loading groceries my 6 yr old is helping the younger 2 "buckle" i then check to make sure we are all done up safely and off we go to the next destination. My friends have all called me crazy for taking all 3 with me until they join me on an outing then they are all wondering HOW.... i can't explain how it works but the kids all kow that i don't tolerate BS, i do not reward bad behavior in any way, i cannot tell you how many times i have walked out of an establishment because the kids started acting up in some way, temper tantrums at home were completely ignored, if one of them started throwing a fit, i would go do laundry or put my ipod on until they stopped with the fit and then we would discuss things calmly, I used to drive my husband nuts because i have the "tune" out button and he does not. For actual punishment i would take the favorite toy or game until they were able to act civilized. I'm not saying my method will work for everyone, but it has worked for me and the little girl i babysit is now able to go to the store with her mom and not act out as well. I hope you find something to hel, Good luck :-)

Shannon - posted on 04/16/2011

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LOL, Hardly a dream but thank you, I do still have the teenage attitude on occassion and the "bad day at work" with the hubby. I just tell them all, I am here to enjoy my life not deal with your bad attitudes and i WILL NOT put up with it, i don't deserve it, i have done nothing to you and i shouldn't have to bear the brunt of it. I asked my 12 yr old to help me try and explain how i get them to behave and she says she personally listens because she doesn't want to lose her stuff, all of our kids have that one toy or game that they can't make a move without, that would be what i took for bad behavior, the longer they acted up the longer i kept it. Like i said it requires alot of patience on your end but it is definately worth it. Tantrums at the store, no matter where we were at in the store resulted in walking out leaving everything in the cart in the middle of the aisle and going home to sit at the dining room table and reflect on why we left. I don't have to raise my voice too often, i sit down and talk to my kids and i tell them why what they have done upsets me. When we are at the stores and the kids ask for something if i feel they have behaved enough to have the reward i allow them to get it, if not i simply tell them "next time" and that settles the discussion. My kids do have their ornery side and we do have alot of fun together also, but they know when i say something i mean it. They know that misbehaving will make it so that we don't do anything fun and they enjoy getting out as much as i do.... we have a 'Sesame Street Live" on the 28th of this month i will be taking my 4 and 6 yr old as well as the 2 yr old i babysit and my 2 yr old nephew.... i know 3 of them can be handled in public, definately gonna need some luck with my nephew lol

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Anita - posted on 04/16/2011

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tes I am so tired of punishing my child. I have three boys 5,8,12 years old and my daughter is only 6mos. My 5yr old just won't behave most of the time. I took parenting class for 14mos and tried it all.I use time out with him and take away his favorite things,but nothing works. Maybe for just a few minetes.

Shannon - posted on 04/16/2011

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My oldest will be 16 in 2 months and she has a healthy respect for my rules, she says the worst thing ever is thinking she will disappoint me in some way and that is the worst punishment. I will not speak to them when i am upset because i don't want to say something that i will later regret. I hope my kids feel the same way when they are grown Thanks!

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I have a toddler so needless to say it takes a lot of disapline. I've noticed though that she mainly acts out when tired. Otherwise if it's a repeat offense I can tell that she forgot that she isn't supposed to do it and a single warning is good enough.

Shannon you sound a lot like my mom (and that's not a bad thing). Even now as adults we all really respect her. I remember when she told me that my cerfew on weekends was 1 am (I was 17)... I about hit the floor (I was expecting 10 pm). Even after I was 19-20 years old and living with my dad I couldn't say out later then that... I would feel guilty. lol Honest even now at 24 I sometimes feel guilty about staying out late. I got in real trouble once in high school with my mom (boys you all know how that is). Never did it again.

Jenny - posted on 04/16/2011

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Shannon, your life sounds like a dream! Give us more details on how you do this! I want to take notes of everything :)

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