Does anyone feel guilty for wanting another baby of a different gender?

Kelly - posted on 02/18/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )




Let me start off by saying I love my 2 boys and wouldn't trade having them for anything, but I was wondering if anyone else is really desiring the opposite gender? I would like to try for a 3rd, but I really want a girl next time. I know that I am lucky to have children, but I feel a little empty longing for that girl. I'm a little nervous that it'll be another boy (which I would love, but may always secretly wish was a girl). Anyway, just wondering if anyone relates. I know it's silly, but I can't help my feelings.


Chelle - posted on 02/18/2010




there is actually a condition called gender disapointment...its 100% real and many people suffer dosnt meen you love the kids you have or will have any less.

ill try and give you a link to the website and t.v documentry that explained this to me...i dont know if it will work because its a british website... and i know if i try to look at some u.s tellivision sights it wont let me , so dont know where ur from but if this works it might shed a light on how you feel.

and your not alone by the way. i have a girl and am expecting another girl...i was hoping for a boy but im just as happy with a just a little dissapointed because i can only afford to have two kids and im not selfish enough to keep popping them out just to get the gender i want. i know im very lucky to be fertile and have my second healthy child on the way.

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Kelly - posted on 02/23/2010




Kathleen, I was thinking that I'd get a response like yours from this post, and I sympathize with you and understand 100% why you'd post that message, which is part of the reason that I do feel guilty about my feelings. I truly believe that every mother would put wanting a healthy child as #1, but that's not what my post was about. Best of luck to you and your family.

Kathleen - posted on 02/23/2010




As someone who struggled to have children, I think anyone who has them easily should just be thankful that they have them, especially if they are healthy. Not only did I have an extremely difficult time getting pregnant, but my daughter has 2 very serious illnesses, one of which is life-threatening. I would give anything to have a healthy child of either gender and would be thankful for that rather than wishing I had the opposite. God gives us what we need, not what we think we want. I don't understand why He gave me a sick child, but there's a reason for everything. I do have a second child who seems to be healthy (we are fairly certain he doesn't have the same condition our daughter has), and I am extremely thankful for that.

Sheryl - posted on 02/22/2010




i have two lil boys myself and i love them every much. i just wanted to have a lil too. but with my dem. gene being boy and my husbend the same we now even if we tried again it would have been a boy. place we can't afford anymore kids. plus we want are kids that we have know to have everything that they want in life so that way i had to just come to a place of letting it go. know if we ever get to a place that better and have enough of money we both said we would not mind looking in to adp. a lil girl. see i grow up in a house manly of girls. not i am in a house of boys. so i think that way i still long. cause i a lil girl i always dream of plaining a wedding, dance's, etc. but i just hope and pray that maybe one day i can have a granddaugter or be involed in helping my son getting married. so that way i can have some type of memories. i hope this is narmol. oh well at least i got my two boys. and at least one is a momma boy so that helps.

[deleted account]

Im the exact opposite lol i have three boys and im pregnant with baby four im happy whatever i get but if i could choose id want another boy. Everyone thinks im mad and keep telling me i dont know what im missing because i havent got a girl but i really want another boy havent got a clue why but i do.

Kayla - posted on 02/22/2010




I totally feel for you. I love my son, but when i see little baby girls or toddler girls, i want to cry. I have my son and a step son. I am the only girl in the house and all the testorone drives me nuts sometimes. I would like some comfort of some girl friends. My bf said we can try for a girl and if it turns out to be a boy we can adopt a girl. But i want the next one to be a girl. I love my son dont get me wrong, but i would love to have a girl to have a mommy daughter connection with.

Chelsey - posted on 02/18/2010




I totally relate! I'm just the opposite...I have 2 girls and love them more than anything, but I always wanted to have boys. We are contemplating having another child and if we do I am going to be praying for a boy the whole way through :) Good Luck

Chelle - posted on 02/18/2010




Hi Kelly, It is only natural to want a girl after having 2 boys... My first was a son so i prayed my next would be a little girl, when i went and had my ulstrasound they told me i was having twins!! both boys... I coulnt help feel a little dissapointed but got use to the idea and can you beleive when i had them 1 was a girl!! I was very happy... Like you i absolutly adore my boys but it was wonderful to have a little girl.. When they were 3 i fell pregnant with my 4th child and was told it was a girl... I was so exited as i already had 2 boys and a girl and another girl would make my family complete...Dont ever think the ultrasound is 100% positive in telling you the sex of your baby because it wasnt a girl i had a little boy... Again i couldnt help but feel dissapointed as i prepared for a little girl... It took me a while to bond with my son but now i love him to bits and wouldnt trade him for 100 little girls... Needlest to say i have since had another baby... A little girl... :)

Faith - posted on 02/18/2010




LOL no, I dont feel one bit guilty for wanting a girl. I have 3 boys...yes each time I crossed my fingers for a girl but haven't been gifted with one. I absolutely love my boys but feel as you do. I know that I am so very lucky to have 3 happy healthy boys but would realllllly love to have a girl in the mix too :)

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