Does anyone feel tht they are not thought of anymore??

Terri-ann - posted on 04/08/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Since having my daughter things between me and my partner have gone downhill quite rapidly...... We seem to not reli do alot together anymore like we used to... i know things would change as time would be taken up with Porsha, but i didnt think it would take everything away.. The whole subject of sex comes up and that it rarely happens.... i feel like im in the wrong for saying that i am tired..... and bringing up that my body has changed (obviously) and my self esteem is low!! we used to enjoy just sitting on the sofa in the evening and having a reli good cuddle watching a film together or something... but now he doesnt seem to want to do it... and i have tried talking to him that i makes me feel he doesnt want me anymore..... it just goes back to .... you never want to be close to me either???? am i the only one who feels like this..... as i feel he doesnt want to think how i feel now

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Terri-ann - posted on 04/09/2009

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Thanks hun....... i do what i can for him...... i make sure there is dinner thought of and let him unwind after a day at work etc..... im now eating more of the healthier things to try and keep energy levels up and making more of an effort of how i look like i did before i fell pregnant... I expect your right that things will just blow over after time...... thanks for you advice

Sarah - posted on 04/08/2009

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Oh man, I know how you feel about being tired all the time and unattractive. But, I think that having a baby is hard for both of you. So if you want him to be considerate of you, you need to be considerate of him. Just think about how important it is to you that he sit and talk to you or cuddle with a movie, it is just as important to him that you forget your insecurities and try to get into making love again. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling right now, so I don't want you to think I don't. I feel unattractive too (I have three boys and with each pregnancy my breasts got smaller and smaller. Add that to a flabby stomach, and it's not a pretty sight), but if you try to think of yourself as beautiful and sexy then it will emulate to him that you are. He has probably always thought you still were.



As far as the tired, maybe try to take naps or take vitamins to even out your health inside, then you might have more enerygy. I'm not implying that it's only you that needs to change, but those are some things to think about. Maybe if he sees that you are trying to be considerate of him, he will do the same for you. I know that with the stresses of having a baby, a husband and wife need eachother so much, so staying close is the best goal to have.  I really hope the best for you guys! If it helps, me and my husband went through it after each birth of our boys. So hopefully it's just a crappy phase that will pass over.

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