Does anyones partner tell them they are lazy and just stay at home and do nothing?

Shari - posted on 05/24/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have a 3half year old and a 1half year old and cant afford to put them in daycare so i stay home and look after them. My partner always brags about him being the main income earner and says i should get off my #$$ and get a job. I dont have much work experience which makes it twice as hard to get one. Looking after the kids is a massive job aswell as keeping the house in top condition. My job as a mother is full time 24hrs 7days. Why is that so hard to understand?

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Lisa-Marie - posted on 05/24/2010

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My partner wasn't as rude about it but did suggest I start working again. So I did the research and worked out what I would earn after tax and how much it would cost to put the kids in care. It worked out our family would be $50 to $100 a week better off. I presented this logical equation to him along with the fact that as I was at 'work' just like him - he would have to take on 50% of the house duties (cooking, cleaning, washing etc) and caring for the kids when we were both at home. Needless to say he quickly changed his mind and has never suggested it since. Maybe that would work for you.

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Kelsey - posted on 01/27/2013

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My ex did that crap to me. Basically told me that I wasn't doing anything all day too and that I should get off of my fat butt if I wanted money for our son. My advice to you is stand your ground and tell him to piss off. Sometimes leaving the baby with him works; sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes figuring out the numbers work; sometimes it doesn't. I had left my ex with the baby for a day and I had calculated numbers, Sometimes They Just Don't Get it. It's just going to be a matter of time before you snap at him for saying things like that. Those are his kids too. He should quit bitching and support them. Sorry about my bluntness; it's just men like that are like talking to brick walls.

Jasmine - posted on 05/24/2010

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my husband didn't understand until i left my baby with him for a day then he got it... so next time he has a day off tell him you have plans and leave the kids with him for a couple of hours then he will understand.... and plus daycare is expensive it cheaper to stay home and watch the kids

Nicki - posted on 05/24/2010

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I agree with Lisa-Marie. Figure up the numbers based on a min wage job's take home pay and show it to him. See if that helps.

Elina - posted on 05/24/2010

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teacher,
janitor,
preparer of meals,
interior decorator,
personal aide (times 2)
conflict resolution specialist
nursemaid,
event planner...
that's 9 jobs.
between that and what you save on daycare, you're saving him a boodle of money. especially if it's not like you have some massive earning power you're just sitting on. i'm in the same boat. i have loads of experience... as a server. woop woop. what i could go out and earn just isn't worth it after the costs, both in money and in time i get to spend with my kid (which, in turn, is time he gets to spend with me)

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