Does this seem a little unfair?

Chesnie - posted on 07/05/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My husband can go out after work for hours drinking with his buddies. I don't mean Chilis or Applebee's, I mean Hooters, Twin Peaks or Bikinis! You know the strapping, barely next to nothing clothes which is fine with me there because I go too sometimes and the waitresses take to me more than my husband, lol. Deal is, he freaks when I want to go drink with my girl friends, whom he doesn't with no good reason trust, btw. We don't want to sit around looking at each other n there are no half naked men's bars (which one day I will start myself called Dicks or Shortys) lolbut we like dance clubs which dont open til 10 and he says ok as long as your home by 10. Hhhaaaa well we can't go out for happy hour because we cook dinner for our husbands, let them relax, take care of the kids THEN maybe we can finally get out n it's late then. Hmmmmm make sense? I'm not a child and I have gone out 2 times since we got married Sept 2009. He goes out at least once a week. He calls them "meetings" but I asked why do you have to go these bars if it's for work? Why not chilis or Fridays or someplace. He won't answer those questions. Sometimes I do wonder if he s cheating.

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Erin - posted on 07/05/2012

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I think he's just jealous and worried someone might hit on you. Honest to God you need to just go out and stay out as long as you want go out when you want and put your foot down. He's not your dad you need to tell him he doesn't get to set a time limit for you. To answer your question yes it's unfair and it's rediculous.

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Wendy - posted on 07/24/2012

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be dressed and read to go out. when he gets home and say you're taking me out let's go .I already got a babysitter. Your not leaving me home by myself anymore.

sounds like yo need to go with each other ass a married couple more often than going out alone.

If he can afford to go out with the guys. Than he can afford to take just the to of you out together more often. If he really loves you he won't mind taking you out more. Good luck. And don't forget to leave some money so the babysitter can get pizza.

Stifler's - posted on 07/07/2012

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It actually does sound like he's cheating and assumes when you go out you do the same things he does.

Stifler's - posted on 07/07/2012

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Reallly? Tell him to step off you're an adult, you can do whatever you want!

Jodi - posted on 07/06/2012

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Hire a babysitter and go out! It really is that simple.

Tell him where you are going, who you are going with, and when you will be back and that there will be a babysitter to cover should he need to be at a meeting on the day you happen to have plans. Make sure the babysitter drives so that you do not have to drive her/him home after your night out, in case your husband isn't home yet. My guess is that you will have a blast, however, waking up the next morning will be kind of hellish and you probably won't get a ton of help from honey.

User - posted on 07/06/2012

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You say you're not a child, yet you let him set you a curfew?!

Arrange to go out with your friends, wherever you want. Tell him he's sorting out dinner that night and for him to expect you when he sees you.

Tracy - posted on 07/06/2012

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It sounds like you are wanting to get out as much as he does - which is totally understandable. However, my personal opinion is that you need to be able to get out a couple more times a year and HE needs to be home a LOT more. The answer isn't necessarily that you both get to go out all the time like he does - someone needs to be the reliable parent! :) Personally, I go out by myself about as often as you do and I've been married since 2001 (I think my husband has been out even less than me). However, I am pretty happy with the amount I get out. :) Anyway, it sounds like the bigger problem is that your husband is out TOO much. But you have to decide if it's worth the fight. In the long run, the kids are just gonna see that dad is kind of uncommitted. I mean, this has to take a large portion of money to go out drinking each week, right? If you absolutely need the time out, then take it! But just make sure that it's not disrupting your kids' lives, ya know?

Tina - posted on 07/06/2012

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Normal if a man doesn't trust his partner to go out with her friends it's because he himself is not trustworthy. You just need to take a stand let your partner take control of the household for one night and just go out. Don't cook tea or anything it might make for a cranky household later. But if it's ok for him then damn straight it's alright for you. He is very unfair. You're not a child. Don't let him treat you like one. Go out have a good time. If he doesn't like it then too bad if it's good enough for him it's good enough for you.

Jenni - posted on 07/05/2012

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i certainly dont think hes definitely cheating but that does suck. men can be pretty selfish sometimes and he probable just likes seeing all the boobs. he most likely wont act on any of it though and if it REALLY is bothering you this much just talk to him!

Melinda - posted on 07/05/2012

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this isnt a little unfair its really unfair. id go out more often if it were me.if he acts the same as in sex wise and giving you attention then i dont think he is cheating. typically when a man cheats he changes completely

Michelle - posted on 07/05/2012

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I probably wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he's cheating, he's just being very unfair.

A lot of men don't notice the double standards unless it's pointed out to them though. Maybe you should tell him that you have joined a book club or something and you have to go to monthly "meetings" then catch up with the girls.

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