Does your HUSBAND do the laundry?

Gena - posted on 06/28/2013 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I have a friend she is a SAHM with 2kids.. Her husband works full time,but he has to do all the laundry,ironing,vacume clean the house and clean up when he gets home.He even cooks dinner and i am asking myself if there are alot of woman that let their husbands do all the house work?
I asked her why he does it and she said she also "works" looking after the kids all day..

I do the laundry and clean cuz by hubby works the whole day and i cook..not that my hubby doesnt do anything when he gets home but i realy would like to hear from other moms if they do the cleaning or if the hubby must..

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Sal - posted on 07/01/2013

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Not the first time I've seen this question.. And I don't get it either... My hubby does help out on days off so that we can do stuff together but he works and I do the home stuff, I feel looking after the children includes keeping their home clean their clothes washed and their meals cooked..

Joyce - posted on 06/28/2013

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Well, after 33 yrs of marriage I can say this much: if you eat, sleep, take showers, wear clothes,live in a home of any kind, drive a car, have some type of yard or a pet, use appliances, garden equipment, etc., then you must learn how to maintain all of these items, equally as your partner does. You must know how to feed yourself and clean up; take the trash out and clean trash cans, clean bathrooms thoroughly, wash, dry and do at least minor sewing repairs on clothing: vaccuum the car, change a tire, spark plugs, oil, wash the windows on it, the batteries in it, change the washer fluid and the wipers; dig a hole to plant a tree or flowers, use the hose and put it away; mow, rake, trim hedges, pull weeds or what to use to deter them; walk, clean, feed and play with your pet, nas nwell as be a good neighbor abt it; know how to cook the basics and how to do minor repairs on the kitchen appliances; in and outside the home how to paint, clean windows, polish your wooden furniturem vac your house, know the business end of a broom, disinfect the sink and counters of your kitchen, etc., clean out the rain gutters, shovel snow, de-ice the walkways, stairs and car correctly, etc. My Dad saw to it that we did not leave the home until we could manage at least this much. And we both help our spouses and they help us. All of us work and have children who are now grown and guess what? They all learned the same tasks. What good is a useless adult? If 1 in a relationship doesn't pull their weight, then guess who isn't a true adult??.

Sojada - posted on 07/04/2013

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I do mostly everything as well. But my hubby does help me out a lot with the kids from showering, changing diapers cleaning, washing etc. if I ask I know he will do it.

Danielle - posted on 07/04/2013

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I do mostly everything.
I cook, vacuum, mop, dishes, laundry, pay bills, ect.
My husband works all day and I wouldn't expect him to come home and do all the cleaning as described by the OP. Our family is kinda set on a schedule. I run the dishwasher overnight so I unload the dishes when the kids are eating breakfast, and then fold, and put away the laundry during nap. The vacuuming gets done also during nap.
On occasion he will help with general tidying.. like occasionally cleaning the table, or putting a couple dishes that were in the sink into the dishwasher. Or maybe once or twice a month fold the laundry and put them away.
There are only a handful of household chores I hold him to and those are: Mowing the lawn, collecting and taking down the garbage, and we also multitask putting the children to bed.
He also prefers to get the groceries because he is convinced that I am an excessive shopper (in my defence if non perishable items are on sale then I'd prefer to stock up!).

Joy - posted on 07/04/2013

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My husband do the laundry for big clothes. He also cooks and clean the house from time to time. He is doing that because he thinks I'm so stressed out with work and taking care of the kids already.

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Rachel - posted on 07/01/2013

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He does. Most times, I start it and then forget about it. It ends up getting musty and we need to re-wash it. Now, he just does it. He washes and dries, I fold and put away.

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My husband helps a good bit. I do most of the household chores--cleaning, etc. We take turns cooking dinner because he actually likes to cook, but I don't like it when he cooks because even though the food is fabulous, the kitchen is DESTROYED. I also take care of J--organize his activities, play dates, etc.; drive him around; help with homework/studies; and spend quality time with him.

Hubby is in charge of the yard. I help in the gardens, but he works the lawn mower and weed thing, and he does all the pesticide and fertilizer stuff--he likes doing it. He also spends time with J in the evenings playing and getting him ready for bed. This is the only part of the day they are together, so I want him to spend it with J, not doing chores. If he notices the "hand wash only" dishes piling up, he will usually do them for me. That's his major contribution, which sounds small, but I HATE handwashing dishes with a passion most reserve only for their worst enemies, so I love that he's willing to do it.....and sometimes I *might* be guilty of putting them off until he gets home just so he'll do them.

He and J can both be a bit sloppy and forget to clean up their things. I don't mind *too much, but on weekends when I'm trying to relax (I take weekends off--that is family time) I get annoyed because I have ADD and the extra clutter makes it difficult for me to think clearly and find things I'm looking for. I've started making them be more aware of what messes they are personally responsible fore--I will clean our house, but I do expect them to have a part in keeping it neat and tidy.

Gena - posted on 07/01/2013

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I am glad to hear from you all.. i was already asking myself if i spoil my hubby to much lol. I do the laundry and cleaning during the day but i also ask my hubby to put his clothes away if i didnt get finished yet. And he helps with other stuff on weekends and evenings but i would never sit around the whole day and make a huge mess and tell him to clean it all up. My hubby brings the trash and also cleans the bathroom in the holidays. And if i am sick he will take care of everything.He also goes gets grocery with our son..i dont have a car so we do it together usualy.
I agree it must work out for them but i have never seen a woman getting so much done from her hubby. Btw i dont iron, i cant do it and i hate doing it..dont know why its just not my thing and i have NO talent in ironing so i gave it up.

Sal - posted on 07/01/2013

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I don't iron if I can avoid it.. I'm great at hanging to avoid ironing but my hubby is in uniform and irons his own, I did iron them for a while but he hates the
Hanging in the cupboard after they are ironed once he put an ironed shirt in the washing basket (because it smelt like a cupboard!!!)... And I've never ironed them again.. Actually if hubby is ironing his uniform he often irons the kids shirts as well.. If if were left to me they'd go unironed
Also I'm struggling a little being pregnant and suffering from gout ( and i had a violent miscarriage last year and hubby is scared it will happen again) so he is treating me like a queen.. I could get used to it!!

Eve - posted on 07/01/2013

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I do most of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, paying the bills and running other errands, helping the kids with their homework, not to mention chauffeuring them to their various activities, plus visiting my parents to help them with any chores at their house. I tried being a "good wifey" and do my hubby's laundry when we first got married, but I forgot a lipstick in one of my pockets...needless to say, all his work shirts got ruined, and he's FORBIDDEN me to do his laundry ever since! On his day off, he also cooks dinner (as per our kids' request coz he's actually better than I am). Being pregnant takes a lot out of me and I do get tired more easily, so I've asked my hubby to help out more. It baffles me, however, that it takes him an entire day to clean the bathroom (his only major chore) and pick up after his own mess (which only takes me about a half-hour, including the organizing, dusting, sanitizing, sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping). Frankly, I've got a bit of OCD so most of the mess around the house is not mine. And if the kids can pick up after their own mess, so should he. When the baby is born, I do expect him to help with the diaper changing, etc. like he did with our 2 kids, but he sees that more of a bonding time with them than a chore:) Our firstborn was a VERY colicky baby so he helped alot with the cleaning and cooking because she just cried bloody murder everytime I tried to put her down to do some housework! Our second had a much more mellow personality, and when she was old enough to walk, she even enjoyed being "Mommy's little helper." How much housework he picks up in the near future will depend on our third baby's temperament... Obviously, every situation is different, but you're neighbor's situation does seem weird. She sounds like this woman in a Super Nanny episode who sat around babbling on the phone all day, not even paying attention to her kids, and the laundry/dishes just kept piling up!

Molly - posted on 06/29/2013

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If it works for them, it works. Depending on his job, she just might work harder than he does. I take care of baby all day, and we share in that nights and weekends. For housework, we split things up according to what each is good at. I cook, do most housework that's inside, organizing, correspondence, shopping. My husband does the yard, the pool, renovating projects, most the outside stuff. It works for us.

Gena - posted on 06/28/2013

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want to hear something funny? we are neighbors,and she sits outside and brags about the garden...who does all the gardening?her HUSBAND!I have never seen her help..all she does is sit outside or inside and plays with the kids and mowns that she is so tierd..i have been in the house and she gives the kids lunch but doesnt even bother to clean the dishes or atleast put them to the dishwasher.. i find it soooo weird that the husband lets himself get used like a slave..yes in my eyes he is her slave

Gena - posted on 06/28/2013

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glad its not just me that thinks she is lazy..
I also keep the house clean and do cleaning during the day with my son.He loves to help because we do it in a fun way.. he has his own play vacumecleaner and we race witg vacume cleaning,sing songs doing the dishes,and he helps with the laundry.To be honost i would feel ashame of myself to do NOTHING but sit outside and read books while the kids are playing (yes she does that and i have to kinda take care of them) and then tell my hubby to do all the household.

My hubby doesnt help alot with household but thats because usualy everythings done when he comes back from work.He helps that i can get a break..he baths with our son,or plays with him and sometimes cooks.And on the weekend he cleans if stuff is laying around but without me asking him to.

I totaly understand that you are going to need that break and find it great that your hubby will take care.
Wish you good luck and that everything goes well with baby nr3 :-)

Denikka - posted on 06/28/2013

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I'm also a stay at home mom with 2 kids, very shortly to be 3. I have a 4yr old boy, a 2yr old girl and will have a newborn in less than two weeks.

I do the majority of the household chores (cooking and cleaning). Like 95% type of majority. It's been a source of problems for my hubby and I, and I would like him to do more, but by *more* I mean a small amount more. Like splitting it more 80/20.

I've never understood those stay at home moms who expect their hubbys to come home after a full days work and then do all or even the majority of the housework. How is that fair in the slightest? Mom is home all day with the kids and, while I more than understand how much work that can be, it only takes 5 minutes to throw in a load of laundry or sweep a floor during the day. It only takes a few minutes to wash a few dishes at a time. And a few minutes here and there makes a huge difference in the daily chores. Not to mention that it's easy enough to get the kids to help if they're old enough to walk (my 2yr old unloads the dishwasher, does laundry and helps to pick up. And she is pretty much capable of doing those chores completely by herself (dishes, completely, laundry needs help getting the soap, picking up needs to kept focused :P)
I can understand certain short term situations (illness or injury). I intend on taking *mat leave* for about a week after this baby is born. I've been cooking certain extras to freeze, but beyond that, I pretty much intend on doing NOTHING after baby is born, no cooking and no cleaning. Hubby is taking a week off, so everything will fall to him. But that's because I need to recover. This pregnancy has been harder on me, mostly on my sleep, than my last two, and I'm just going to need that time to rest, sleep as much as possible, and get back on track. And once again, hubby won't be working at that point, just staying at home, and it will be very short term.
I think that stay at home moms who are capable of doing the housework (obviously there are exceptions) and choose to force their hubby to do ALL of them after he goes off and does a full days work..well, they're just selfish in my mind. It's one thing to expect help when hubby gets home. But to use the excuse that you were playing with your kids all day and couldn't do a single load of laundry, wash a couple dishes, run a broom over the floor even once, etc....that just seems lazy and selfish.

Michelle - posted on 06/28/2013

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When I was a SAHM I did it all but he did his own. Now that I work full time he does his and the kids laundry while I work on the weekends and I do my own. I still do all the cleaning, cook every night and do all the running around after the children.

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