Does your husband give you spending money?

Stephanie - posted on 11/28/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Does your husband give you money every week/month for your own personal spending? How does the money situation work if you don't make any money?

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Angel - posted on 03/27/2014

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My husband and I don't have joint checking account, I don't have full access to it, as well as the credit lines and savings and retirement accounts. He is in the army 03. He gave me allowance $20 per month. He send me to school and pay $85 per week. He said that he don't want to share anything because he earns it not me. What shall I do? I feel like he doesn't trust me. He is kind of controlling too.

Jeannine - posted on 01/22/2014

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No my husband doesnt give me any money. I have to ask for money and he sighs everytime. I am a stay at home mom with multiple sclerosis i use a cane. And i have been married to him for 8 yrs. Ans i never have any money. I have 2 daughters one is 25 and on her own and my other daughter is 15 and a son by him 7. He is an alcoholic. He doesnt go to the bars or never mean. He gets all buzzed up with beer and he gets annoying and sways when he stands and then goes to sleep. Thats my life. I get up get my kids up for school tjen clean the house do dishes. Then around 4 pm start dinner. He comes home at 5:30 we eat and he gets a buzz then falls asleep. Wow what a life. Shouldnt a husband give his wife some money each week? I aint even on his checking account? He even pays the bills. I am not stupid i can pay bills. Hell i am home all day. Is he controlling? My sister keeps telling me it isnt right. Now i have to tell him i need pads and he goes out to buy them. And he spoils our son. I cant even work due to my ms and i am on soc. Sec. Which i dont get much at all because they go but his income. This month i only got $1.45 fro soc. Sec.? Its really getting to me. I keep thinking in my mind that i should divorce him. What should i do go to counseling or what? I really cant take it or live like this anymore. I dont go anywhere and have no friends either. I feel "stuck".

April Marie - posted on 11/29/2012

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No and he keeps telling me to get a job but we have a specail needs little girl and she has lots of medical problems.so i just take it.

Fit2BMe - posted on 11/29/2012

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My husband considers the money "family" money, not his money vs mine. I have a credit card and he pays it each month. I try to be careful with it, and we keep spending an open discussion.

He recognizes that me staying home is a good thing, and prefers it that way. He also recognizes that I need money to buy groceries, child care items, and things for myself every now and then (tho I seldom buy much for myself as I'm a SAHM and don't need much.)

I try to keep in mind how difficult it would be to work long hours and not get to see that money if a wife is at home spending it loosely, so am careful.

He brings in an income, and I save us money. We both contribute in our own ways to our joint family account, trying to be respectful of eachother and mindful of our resources.

[deleted account]

We have joint checking account, we both have full access to it, as well as our credit lines and savings and retirement accounts.



In order to keep from over drawing the checking account without having to tell each other about every little purchase we make, we both get a "budget" or "allowance"--a set amount of money for each of us that we can spend each week on whatever we see fit. The actual money stays in the checking account, and we use cards for purchases, but we log the spending on an app on our phones. We know that as long as neither of us spends more than our "allowance" there will be plenty of money left in the account to cover the monthly bills and put a few hundred a month into savings.



We came up with our "budget" by adding all of our monthly bills at their highest possible amount and subtracting that amount from our monthly income. Then we looked at our past spending to figure out how much we spend on other needs, like groceries, transportation, clothing, etc. We added those figures up and divided it according to the percentage that each of us spends, and subtracted those numbers from his income--like, I buy groceries, so grocery money went into my budget, we both buy auto gas, so we split that spending equally. The money that was left was divided 3 ways--we each got an equal portion for personal, discretionary spending--like lunch with friends, a new video game, etc, and the rest is auto deposited into our savings by our bank.



The amount of our "allowance" stays the same from week to week--we don't have to waste time calculating how much we can spend each month because we used the highest amounts for all the bills. If extra money comes into the house or if bills go down in cost, we just ignore it. Then, if one of us needs to make a big purchase, like new tires or a big medical bill, the money is there, but we discuss those expenses before paying for them.



This way, the only spending we really have to waste time talking about is purchases that are too big to fit into our weekly allowances.

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Stephanie - posted on 03/28/2014

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That is a hard situation. $20 per month is not a lot. Do you get by on this small amount? If you are living poorly and giving of yourself, that could be seen as a good thing. Many of the saints lived very poorly and were mistreated by their peers and loved ones. Maybe if you pray and offer your suffering up to God, you could be counted among them? Good luck and God Bless.

Stephanie - posted on 01/23/2014

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In Our family, my husband works and he pays all the bills. He has in place a budget system for all of our needs. Each bi-weekly pay check he gets goes into different accounts and categories to keep our budget. We have grocery, home, car care, clothes & shoes, entertainment and so on. Also, when I decided to get my hair cut short, and have it cut every six weeks, he put that into the budget (tip included). So now that I'm growing my hair, I use the hair cut money to take art classes. As a SAHM, my husband knows that I need to keep my individuality somehow, and he sees how difficult it is to stay at home. All in all, he is a very great man, and organized!

Nelly - posted on 12/04/2012

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We have a family budget but if I need extra money for Christmas and birthdays I just ask

him

Cleaver - posted on 11/28/2012

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he gives me money for everything we need and my family allowence is for me roughly 100$ a month

Ruth - posted on 11/28/2012

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My husband does not give me spending money. We have a family budge (and a joint checking account) that we have both agreed on. As part of this budget, we both have a small amount of personal spending money, as well as money set aside for date nights and family outings. My husband has always made the majority of our income, but I usually keep track of expenses and pay the bills. I think it is important once you're married to stop thinking of things in terms of 'mine' and 'his', and to think of them more as 'ours'.

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