Don't cry for me Argentina

Nina - posted on 02/16/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Not wanting to let my 9 month old "cry it out", but beginning to feel a little desperado if you know what I mean. Any suggestions on getting the peanut to sleep in her own crib through the night?

5 Comments

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Emily - posted on 02/17/2009

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When my daughter was first starting to sleep through the night, I would put her in bed, give her a kiss and walk out the door. Of course she would cry and after about 15 minutes, I would go back in, leaving the lights off and kiss her one more time and walk out again. Slowly I would lengthen the time between kisses and it only took about a week for her to understand that I would still be there in the morning. Today, she practically puts herself to bed, she climbs right in and snuggles down with a teddy and she's out.

Amy - posted on 02/17/2009

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Yeah, like I said, Cry it Out was the wrong method for our son. I've heard it does work for some.  We had all the routines before bed and nap, and my son still cried and cried harder and cried harder when we still didn't come. There were nights that he would fall asleep within 30min or so after crying, but there were others he'd go the full hour or more...there was just no rhyme or reason for it, and we couldn't stand it anymore.  Just find what works for you, it may take a lot of different methods and tries, but you will not always be sleepless:)



 

Whitney - posted on 02/17/2009

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I was not a big fan of the cry it out method either...I don't know who it was harder on, her or me? But after many days of no naps and restless sleep at night I had to try something with my 11month old. I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and they suggested having a routine for both nap and bedtime. So we read before each nap and bedtime and then we play some music for her and put her to bed while she is still awake. This book suggests letting them figure out how to put themselves to sleep, but don't let them cry for more than an hour. The first nap we tried this with, our daughter was between crying and talking to herself for a good 50 minutes and then she fell asleep for an hour and a half! We repeated this and the next nap she talked and cried for about 30 minutes and then slept for another hour. It was wonderful! I've found that it usually takes her about 30 minutes to calm herself before she falls asleep. Since we have done that, she has been sleeping straight through the night and sleeps longer...she goes to bed around 7:45-8:00pm and sleeps until 7:30-7:45. It's wonderful!!!

Amy - posted on 02/16/2009

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My first born was not a "great" sleeper on his own.  My first advice, try not to panic. Try and keep good sleep and night "associations" for your child. 



My second advice is see if you can find some books that may help...one that is designed for sleepy parents to pick up and put down and access answers quickly is "No Cry Sleep Solutions" by Elizabeth Pantley.



We ended up going the route that worked for us where everyone ended up getting some sleep- and he slept in our bed for a few months...now he's in a "side car" bed next to ours for now. (he's four now).



 Every child is different and when I look back I think we were so adament about him sleeping in his own bed and would "freak" out when he would come in our room or have more than one restless night...that we made an even bigger deal about nighttime in his mind and "freaked" him out even more. 



First of all, I think kids go through phases where they are growing, or not growing,  having scary thoughts at night, teething, get into bad habits of waking up and wanting parents to soothe them etc.  The Sleep Solution book goes into having set routines, how much sleep for each age, etc.  A 9month old is still pretty young and will "grow" out of whatever phase they are in and a new and more interesting phase will come :). 



We did crack and try the Cry it out method, when my child was a year old, and it was HORRIBLY wrong for our child. I think that's also part of our problem now is he still remembers screaming and hitting his head against the door and wall etc, or if he doesn't remember -he does still carry some bad associations with nightime and sleep.  I don't recommend Cry it out for anyone, especially for kids over the four months of age. 



 I hope this helps, just know you're not alone.  I always heard all my friends pitty and tell me their little ones sleep all night by themselves blah blah blah, but since all that I"ve heard many parents talk about sleep difficulties in their children and that every child struggles with sleep from time to time whether they want to admit it or not. 



My advice, know that this child will not always be this age and have this problem and work out solutions that help you and your little one get sleep no matter if they are the "norm" accepted ones or not.

Dawn - posted on 02/16/2009

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i'm right there with you!! what's frustrating for me is that my son CAN sleep through the night. but like every couple of weeks he will go days without sleeping. i've tried putting him to bed awake and letting him fall asleep on his own. i've tried waking him up before i go to bed and feeding him again. (that actually works 9 times out of 10) but i'm not sure if it really is or if he's just tired enough to sleep all night. so i'm anxious to see what some of the other mom's have for suggestions. hang in there your not alone:)

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