don't know what to do any more

Ashley - posted on 11/21/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have been together for 13 years married 2 years. We have 2 boy's oldest 8 youngest almost 1. I'm a stay at home mom and he works 7 days a week 2nd shift. I never get any me time. And really could use a day off from the kids for adult time. But it seems like my husband takes a day off and he either goes hunting or goes and hangs with a friend. While I get stuck at home by my self the kids. He doesn't help with them at all. I feel isolated , forgotten, and I feel like all im good for is house work and taking care of the boys. He called off twice this month to go hunting but won't take my birthday weekend off to spend with his wife. We have gone over this time and time again. And he says he is sorry and will work on it but he never does. And he does it again. Im tired of crying and tired of being shoved a side. And tired of his being able to do what he wants when he wants. I love him with all my heart. That is why it hurts so bad. I just don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Bc im all out of ideas. Only thing I have not done is leave him for a few days bc I have no where for me and my kids to go. any suggestions will be grateful.

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Darlene - posted on 11/23/2013

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One day at a time sweetie. He will take some time, but you will see that your efforts will pay off. Just don't try to hard to win him over, it has to be in him to do so. I'll pray that it keeps. He will realize that what he unselfishly gives of himself the rewards will be amazing. Keep in touch and let me know how it goes. But that's up to you. I'm really glad you took that first step. Proud of you!!

Ashley - posted on 11/22/2013

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Thank you. That is helpful. I wrote him a 4 page letter last night to get him know how I felt. And when I went into our bedroom for my 10 minute mommy break from fighting with our son to get ready for school. He actually woke up and helped with the kids. And went to the store for me so I could go back to sleep. I just hope it lasts.

Darlene - posted on 11/21/2013

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I know how you feel sweetie and boy does it hurt. My former relationship was like that but he was there and equaly as dismissive. I had to get royally pissed with him for him to realize that I even existed. Got worse when I found out I was pregnant with his son. He was never abusive physically, but his emotionally distant behavior was damaging enough. He responded to other people more then me and his work took prescience over everything. Had to teach him to even say thank you when I made dinner. His oldest son didn't know the meaning of the word. There is so much more to it. But the point I'm trying to make is, is that I understand you completly. You are not alone.

Try showing him what he is missing out on. Make a nice meal and snap a pic of it and say, "Doesn't this look good" or put something on that you know he would make time for!! One thing you should never do, is miss someone who never makes time for you or the kids no matter how much you love them. It just makes it hurt more. Make him miss you and make him see what he is missing!! He will come around. If not, its his loss because his kids won't be kids forever. Hope this helps some.

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