Dont know what to do with myself.

[deleted account] ( 26 moms have responded )

I am a stay at home mom. I have an 8 year old son and an almost 3 year old daughter. My son is at school all day. My daughter pretty much self maintains. She and I play and talk together through out the day but it seems that i am left with a lot of time on my hands. I dont have a car during the day so we dont go out too often. I guess I'm looking for ideas on what to do with my time. Even something my daughter and I can do together. Anyone else feel this way? Or am I just a nutcase?

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Amber - posted on 02/12/2009

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No, of course your are not a nutcase...however, I don't know you personally :) I have a much younger daughter(16 months) but I have broken up my day. Between meals and naps, she helps me clean out the dishwasher, do the laundry, and terrorize the cat. In the months coming I intend to implement games centered on the ABC's in the morning and 123's in the afternoon(great ideas but we'll see if they work for us). I have also started a craft box. I cut out all the fun pictures from the Christmas cards and birthday cards we received and have them put away for craft days. I have taken on daycare for another little girl the same age(a good idea to keep you busy and a playmate for your daughter, and a way to make a little extra money) and Friday is our Fort Day. Sheets and blankets are used to make a fort in the living room where we play lots of peek-a-boo and eat our lunch on the floor in our fort. There are some ideas anyway.

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Tracey - posted on 02/21/2009

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Hi Kathryn,



It certainly would appear that alot of us can relate.  I, also used to be a young mom.  I had 3 children by the time I was 25 (& my oldest was adhd) and I was on my second marriage by then.  I was forced into becoming a stay at home mom due to illness by the time I was 30.  And for about two years I wasn't allowed to drive.  Between my illness & my independence being robbed, I went through a huge depression period.  But what I find is the most difficult with being at home all the time, even to this day, is the lack of day to day interaction amongst other adults.  If you can work your schedule so it allows you to do things that will create more adult interaction, ie; home based business, volunteer/community work, regular dates with friends, boyfriend/husband you might find this helps.  For me, I've had to push myself to stay active sometimes, but it's important.  And don't feel bad about looking good, as odd as it sounds just learn to take it as a compliment.  I've gone through it all my life.  I'm now 43 & expecting my second grandchild & Ive had people ask if my granddaughter is my first child.  I am so thankful to have endured so much when I was so young because I'm still young.  And now my husband & I get to start enjoying our children having their children.



Best of Luck & Take Care!



Tracey Alderson   

Amanda - posted on 02/21/2009

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Thats how I feel. I have a almost 5 year old, 2 year old, 9 week old. My hubby works 13 hour days 5 days a week. We only have one car so I'm stuck at home for 5 days with the kids. I don't have any family near. I just can't wait for summer. It has been so cold out that we can't get out. I also have postpartum depression on top of it.

[deleted account]

Do you volunteer at your son's school? I am very active with the PAC at my son's school and it keeps me very busy. Plus you get to meet other moms and it's ok to bring your little ones along. or have you tried the reading times at your local library or rec centre play groups? there good ways to have your little one burn off energy while you get adult conversation!! and if you're a nutcase...we all are cuz motherhood is very demanding! ;D

Kim - posted on 02/20/2009

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Hi Kathryn,



You are young and certainly need to feel like you have some self-worth. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs you'll ever find but you can have more while you stay at home. I am a stay-at-home mom and a mentor with Work at Home United. I have been working with the team since January of 2007. Prior to finding this team I was a music teacher of 15 years. I'm married to Don and we have a son, Joseph, who's 6. This business allows me to be home with our son and also allows me take care of family needs that couldn’t be done if I were working a job outside our home. You can work around YOUR schedule. I love the fact that I can work my hours around my life, NOT my life around my hours. Most people work on average 2-3 hours a day with this business. You can do this, too, with your kids by your side. All the training and support you need will be provided! BTW, I don't sell, stock or deliver anything. I simply manage an appointment setting team who makes referrals to a wellness company who continues to show growth, even through these economic hard times.



Kim

www.LovinLifeHome.com



Click GET MORE INFO and I will personally contact you.

Brandi - posted on 02/20/2009

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My son is turning one next week and I've loved being home with him since he was born. That said, I do get bored! Before Baby I was a very active and schedualed person, with a 2 foot long to-do list! I find now that as long as I keep to my 'schedual' at home, no matter how dumbed down it may be, I'm happier. The nice side benifit of the timed day is that my little boy is happier too. My husband was nice enough to take the dog for a walk one morning and is sqrewed up my son's day because Zach missed his morning stroller ride!

Rachel - posted on 02/20/2009

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Quoting Kathryn:

I have a really hard time meeting other moms and going to play groups. One reason being no car. But I've also found that most of the moms are older than me. They look at me like I'm some sort of tramp or like I have a third eye. And the moms that are my age (the ones I've met) are very immature and still into the party scene. I feel isolated most of the time.


How terrible!! :(



 



I am the opposite! I think I am an older mom... which sucks.

Desireé - posted on 02/19/2009

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     I am a stay at home mom with a 4 months old baby girl, and some days I go absolutely nuts! I don't have a vehichle during the day either. Some days I just sit here and watch the clock, I've even begun trying to enjoy TV because its so boring (I was never a TV person before).



 



I'm breast feeding, so that's my main time with her - she sleeps most of the day still, up an hour here and there. Also she's not that interactive yet so playing with her is sometimes difficult. It's so frustrating some days. You just do the same thing over and over and over.



 



I've been trying to find a hobby but it's so dificult to find something you can really get into that's not going to cost allot of money. The computer's become my best friend sadly. I've been wanting to find something I could do as a home business maybe, but I don't even really no where to start on that.  And the only time we get out of the house is about once a week to go grocery shopping - Yippey!



 



I too have the same problem as kathy. I also live in small town, so finding other parents is hard enough. I do know 4 other mom's here. One has two boys, but she works all day and is very consumed with her own responsiblities (understandably). Another one is a brand new mom like me but lives at the other side of town and also has no vehicle, we also never really clicked that well. One other that I know is a much older mom and has like 5 kids now and lives outside of town. And the final one is very much into the party scene otherwise she'd be perfect for me. She has a daughter also who is just 2yrs old now I believe, and she lives just down the street from me.



 



I don't know, I guess everyone's kinda in a simallar boat as everyone else.



Don't get me wrong motherhoods great, But it sucks!

Mirinda - posted on 02/19/2009

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I guess I am no longer the really "young" mom, but I was.  I now have two boys who are quite apart in age.  11 and 3.  My older son is ADD and my younger son is very independent.  I can definitely relate to how you are feeling.  I bet you are a bit tired throughout the day because toddlers are work, but then having an ADD child is also very demanding in a very different way.   It often makes it difficult to come up with more than the normal routine, and yet, it gets so monotonous to do the same thing all the time.  I guess it is important to remember that our little ones are changing all the time and are able to do so much more than we expect them to now as they are growing older.  I have used the internet a lot for ideas both for myself and for my son.  There are several activities that can be printed out to do or color.  A recent website my pediatrician gave me for my son is starfall.com.  It helps with learning letters and their sounds.  Eventually learning to read.  I try to find time once a week to find activities that can be used throughout the week since I know that it is sometimes difficult to find the time when I need it.  As for myself, I indulge in something once a week.  It might be a piece of chocolate or a bubble bath, or whatever, but something just for me.  Hope some of this helps.

Emily - posted on 02/19/2009

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Quoting Kathryn:

I have a really hard time meeting other moms and going to play groups. One reason being no car. But I've also found that most of the moms are older than me. They look at me like I'm some sort of tramp or like I have a third eye. And the moms that are my age (the ones I've met) are very immature and still into the party scene. I feel isolated most of the time.



This is almost identical to my situation! My daughter is almost 18 months and 99% of the time, I LOVE playing with her but I get sooo tired of the same darn games everyday. I've been looking into gymnastics for her and this summer we're going to start on swimming lessons. The weekends are difficult because by the time friday night rolls around all my husband wants to do is hang out at home all weekend and I want to go to the zoo or someplace for all 3 of us. One of the mom's in my FRG group is my age but her little girl is still a bit too little for us to have play dates but it's still nice to be able to just talk to her once in awhile.

Karen - posted on 02/19/2009

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hey, i'm also a young mom - 26 with a 3 1/2 year old and an 8 month old. have you thought about being a nanny? your child will have child interaction and you'll be able to make a little extra $. also, it forces you to get creative with crafts and learning. You could also take walks around the neiborhood, read during nap times, nap during nap times :) i put together a scrapbook for my oldest and will eventually do the same for my youngest. try looking on line for some fun ideas. hopefully that's helpful

[deleted account]

Hi Kathryn, I'm a 26 year-old stay at home mom in a small town, also with no car during the day as well. One thing I've found that helps me structure my day is doing a mom/baby workout video with my daughter (6 months). I know they make videos like these for toddlers and moms, too. It gives me the incentive to exercise because my daughter loves it, and we get to bond and I can burn some calories. I'm really looking forward to being able to take walks this Spring. Once the weather is warm enough, take walks with field guides, butterfly net, and bug box - that was my favorite activity when I was little :)

Denise - posted on 02/19/2009

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Do you have other friends/family with children? Maybe you should think about having a "mommy and me" group, by taking turns at each others house or at a local park [when the days are nice], even your local library--getting a ride with someone/paying for gas, just so you don't feel like you're a bother for hitching a ride.

That way you can get interaction with other mommys and the kids can socialize as well.

I'm sure there are so many other moms in your situation.

At one point I didn't have a car during the day, I had 2 young children at home, and one at school, and I really did't have a lot of friends, and family I barely talk to--can be pretty lonely when your only means of conversation is with a 'little person' :)

Even though time with your kids is great, it's not so great when it's ALL the time.

*try looking online for craft ideas. or baking ideas.

We've made homemade playdough, made cookies, and homemade gifts for birthdays and holidays. It's nice to have something to do to pass the time...and feel like you've done something constructive.

Sylvia - posted on 02/19/2009

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oh for got to add that after we get home my son is so tierd out from all the activities he sleeps for a couple hour so i can get my house work done!now i find i dont have enough time for everything!excepy weekends when its daddies turn!!

Sylvia - posted on 02/19/2009

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i too had this problem but it seemed to be an easy fix for me.after finding out about a program they had at the local elementry school for infants i registered my son immediatly!its soo great!it goes fron 8am-noon monday to friday and i stay there with him.we do alot of things to help them get a headstart!my son who is an only child is now sharing toys with the olther kids and offering his snack something he never ever did!he is also pushing his blankie aside to play with the other kids!they teach your baby alot of things!its really good for both of us cause i also get the chance to talk with the other parents about parenthood which really helps me,i am a first time mom and sooo lost!!!!

Cathy - posted on 02/18/2009

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I can totally relate, except for being a young mom - I'm 36 but still feel 22 (on a good day..ha!)  My boys are 7 and 3, and I have tons of time on my hands during the day.  I have no car either, and playgroups are just too far to get to.  The library has a good storytime for toddlers one day a week, and Chapters has one as well.  It's funny though, some days I'm dying for some adult interaction, but other days I feel almost anti-social and don't care to see anyone.  Don't worry, I feel like a nutcase too somedays...Ha!

[deleted account]

Don't feel bad about it. My baby is only 5 months old, but I've already had numerious ups and downs with staying home for the first time in my life. I actually work from home part time and I have a car so I can attend Bible studies and mom groups to help me stay sane. But that still doesn't stop me from having those days where I completely go insane. You might want to try a schedule of some kind. Maybe plan out cetain times to do laundry, other times to clean, other times to play games with your daughter. You could even pick a certain "theme" day where you do something fun like build forts or play dress up. Little girls LOVE to help their mom's cook so maybe you could have a "chef day" where you make your family's favorite snacks. You could also pick a new hobby to try. I LOVE to scrapbook and it doesn't have to be expensive. It VERY time consuming too! :) You can use everyday household stuff to a create all sorts of things. All you need is some sort of album and some photos to start. You can also invite people over for lunch since you don't have a vehicle. You'd be surprised how many other moms out there are looking for an outlet just like you and they DO have a mode of transportation. I hope some of this helps. Keep you chin up! Being a mom is an amazing thing, but some days are better than others. Just remember that little girl adores you.

[deleted account]

Thank you all for your support and ideas.
I am 22 with a 2 year old and my step son is 8. My husband has full custody of our son. I like to think I am a good mom. I guess I'm just feeling helpless right now. We are waiting for our health insurance to start so we can have our son tested for ADD or ADHD and that really weighs on me. I feel like i should be able to do more or something. And it's tough being needed so much all the time and now my two year old can do things for herself.... Maybe I'm just having some sort of my babies are growing up crises.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/12/2009

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Ladies. Im young myself. I was 22 when I got pregnant and 23 when I had her. I totally know what you mean when you feel like sometimes you feel like we are missing out on what other girls our age are doing, as far as going out or even just doing whatever whenever. But then again I think, guess what I am going to be there again and still be young and all those girls are just going to be starting there life and having responsiblities. To be honest with you I went out once in the last 9 1/2 months that I had her and trust me we arent missing much. I mean I dont know how it is where you live but we have lots of bars and clubs in town town and the same peole I saw there 5 years ago are still there, haha! And Kathryn dont feel like a tramp. Who cares what others think, as long as you are a good mom and you know it, which I am sure you are!!!

[deleted account]

Hey Kathryn, I know what you mean about being younger than other moms. I feel that way often. I don't know your age, but I am 26 with 3 young children. The other moms that I see at church are all in their mid 30's and oftentimes I feel out of place, but then when I see all the college students (which are my age) they are all talking about going out and dancing, although I think that would be fun, I don't have time or a babysitter! I have been feeling down lately about that also.



 

[deleted account]

Hello Kathryn, I understand what you feel. You could always start up a home based business. That will allow you to talk with some adults and not feel so alone and also occupy some of your time. Also, you will make a little money! I am an independent watkins associate. I love the products!! Their products are natural and organic, so they are better for your health and for the planet.



Take a look at my website,



 

[deleted account]

Is there something you've been wanting to do like a hobby?  What about making homemade cookies?  Trying a new recipe? 

Sandi - posted on 02/12/2009

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HI Kathryn, I have 5 kids ages 5 to 15 so I can understand where you are coming from. Maybe try creating a schedule for her and you time and then if she takes a nap you can have that time to read, journal, do a hobby, clean. I know what made all the difference for me was finding a home based business that kind of fell in my lap through another friend and one that I am passionate about helping other people improve their lives. It also gives me the opportunity to connect with others during the day and build relationships I wouldn't otherwise have and earn income I wouldn't otherwise have. Hope this helps :)

[deleted account]

I have a really hard time meeting other moms and going to play groups. One reason being no car. But I've also found that most of the moms are older than me. They look at me like I'm some sort of tramp or like I have a third eye. And the moms that are my age (the ones I've met) are very immature and still into the party scene. I feel isolated most of the time.

Jennifer - posted on 02/12/2009

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I'm right hear with ya. My son just turned 1 and I don't have a car during the day either. I was part of a moms group on meetup.com($5 per year for website upkeep) It was good but you have to show up often or they kick you out. With no car that may be hard, but it is a way to meet moms within your neighborhood.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/12/2009

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Im with ya girl! I am a stay at home mom with a 9 months old baby girl, and somedays I go insane. I do have a car, but going places everyday cost money. My fiance told me yesterday, just walk around walmart or the mall. I said how can a girl do that and not spend money! Some days I just sit here and watch the clock go by so the day is over, because its so boring. Dont get me wrong we have lots of fun together, playing, reading books, having a fun snack time, and playing games with the dog, but after awhile, you are like..Ok whats next? I wish I can help ya. The only time we get out of the house for the day is once a week to playdates, and also while I go to the gym, somedays she will go in the kids corner.

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