Emotionally Distressed

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

My name is Danielle and I have 2 kids my daughter who is 2yrs 8months and my son who is going to be 3months on the 12th of January. Well everything started off really well for me and my family, my son was sleeping good the first month, then the colic started and it's been hell till about the middle of November. After my son got his immunizations he calmed right down, which is great. But by then, the depression had already started and I don't know what to do. I'm so busy with my kids during the day, everyday, I have no "me time". And as for my husband, really great guy, he's the one that has to come home to a wife who is emotionally "not there". There are times where I just want to lock myself in my room and not get out of bed, but I can't because of the kids. I'm always stuck in the house, I never get to go out during the day, not even a simple walk because of the cold weather. And I'm not even dependant in myself, I have to rely on everyone else because I don't have a drivers liscence and I hate it. I hate having to call my husband at work just to ask him to pick something up for me! I don't know what else to do, any advice?

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Maura - posted on 01/03/2010

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Danielle, you may have post-partum depression, which can come with a delay. I highly recommend you see a doctor and disucss this. You may need medication temporarily. You may just be overwhelmed and fatigued. Millions of mothers feel this way, so try not to focus on feeling guilty or different. You do need some strategies, though, to pull yourself up and not sink deeper. I know it is cold, but go outside anyway. Fresh air and sunlight (if there is any) is healthy and works against depression. Bundle the kids up and go out, even for only ten or fifteen minutes. Use bright lights inside your house to help against depression. Since excercise is nearly impossible right now with your hands full and no car, put some music on and dance (with the little one) in your living room. It will get your adrenaline going. One of my favorite songs says, "You can't dance and stay uptight, it's a supernatural delight." Also, can your husband drop you off at a mall for the day? or public transportation? Try not to feel bad about your supportive husband, that is what he is there for. Many women who drive still ask their guy to pick up groceries on the way home. All in all, if it feels impossible, then you definitely medical advice. Read about post-partum on the internet and see if it fits you. Motherhood is overwhelming and everybody needs some help. God bless!

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Quoting Natalie:

Hang in there and go see a dr.this could be post partum depression but you need to be cautious it doesn't turn in to full depression like mine did. I felt ashamed, failure to my hubby and kids, dissappointment to my family. When I finally chose to get help it wasn't until after I spoke some mean nasty stuff to my kids. I told them I was going to kill them and then I said no wait I am going to kill myself then you guys will have to clean up my bloody mess. Sometimes with depression you say things before thinking about them. I feel horrible and I have apologized so many times. This was when we only had 3 that at the time were only 3,4, and 5.Now my kids are older and they are always willing to remind mommy to take my happy pill. Many will feel what you are going through bme honest with all of your friends you may find one that has it and you will see that it is normal and there is help. I encourage you to do this before you say something like I did and regret it still several years later. Have faith and know that you are not alone.



that's the thing, I had already told my son that I hated him. Even tho he won't remember a thing, i said it infront of my daughter...

Endia - posted on 01/06/2010

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hello danielle..im a single stay at home mom of my 1yr old son.and lately ive been feeling so stressed out due to not gettin my proper rest,and just having my plain ole "me time".i have to do everything around my home,cook ,clean,feed & change & bathe him,play & teach my son.then i have school on the other hand which i attend online.mind you i have narcolepsy & sleep apnea so you know im fighting my tiredness all day.i cant have my license until my doc says so.i have no help other than my mother.and she works 12 hr shifts.so basically im tryna be superwoman..lol..i just say to myself when will i have a break...ugh..i just thought i share m ylife.because ur not in this alone.just keep your faith in god..he'll give you the strength u need.thats my only help.i thought i was going crazy all by myself..and when i read ur post i became a lil at peace.May god bles you & keep you..ill be praying for you danielle..

Natalie - posted on 01/03/2010

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Hang in there and go see a dr.this could be post partum depression but you need to be cautious it doesn't turn in to full depression like mine did. I felt ashamed, failure to my hubby and kids, dissappointment to my family. When I finally chose to get help it wasn't until after I spoke some mean nasty stuff to my kids. I told them I was going to kill them and then I said no wait I am going to kill myself then you guys will have to clean up my bloody mess. Sometimes with depression you say things before thinking about them. I feel horrible and I have apologized so many times. This was when we only had 3 that at the time were only 3,4, and 5.Now my kids are older and they are always willing to remind mommy to take my happy pill. Many will feel what you are going through bme honest with all of your friends you may find one that has it and you will see that it is normal and there is help. I encourage you to do this before you say something like I did and regret it still several years later. Have faith and know that you are not alone.

[deleted account]

I went through it with my daughter aswell, it lasted for 9months. I don't knoew what to do or where to turn. Everybody I know that can watch my kids are either working full time or at school full time.

Julie - posted on 01/03/2010

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Hi Danielle. I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I think you may have some post partum depression. I went through it with my first son. It was terrible. I just wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep. I felt like I couldn't cope with even the simplest of tasks.



First thing to know is that you are not alone. I chose not to take drugs, but you might want to talk to your doctor about this option. I just believe that it's possible to get through it without drugs. Some suggestions are take a multivitamine to make sure you are getting enough vitamine B and D which help improve with depression. Get some sunlight in the morning - sunlight (vitamine D) helps with depression too.



If you can, get into a local mom's group where you can get out once a week with other moms just to talk. I found it hard to force myself to get out to my group, but once I did, I always felt better to talk with other moms going throug the same thing. I know it's hard because you don't drive, so maybe host it at your place instead and have them bring refreshments. I did this with my prenatal class - I organized it out of sheer desperation.



Listen Danielle, you are not alone, moms all over the world and right down the street are going through what you are going through. It helps to connect with them and talk about your day - even if it's over the phone. Good luck and I'll try to keep touch with you...

Rebecca - posted on 01/03/2010

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I know exactly where you are, I have a 4 yr old, a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old, i've had antenatal depression in all of my pregnancies, and post natal depression after my 1st and my 3r. I too don't have a drivers license - just got my learners 3 months ago. Do go and see your doctor but also discuss other options besides anti depressants. I wasn't breast feeding so I went on the pill to even out hormonal stuff. A tablet wont fix the sleep deprivation or lonliness. Open the windows and curtains when possible, dance to your favourite music, social networks, burn essential oils like bergamont or sandalwood or citrusy ones to help uplift your spirits. I co-ordinanted my boys nap so the have 1 nap a day at the same time so i get a rest - might mean letting one get grumpy while waiting for the other to get tired but believe me it is worth it if you get a rest out of it! Your husbamd will survive, try leaving the kids with him just for an hour or two and get a coffee with a girlfriend once a week you'll be surprised how refreshing it can be! I hope all goes well for you x

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