Endless Days

Kirby1018 - posted on 12/02/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

2

0

1

Hello,
My name is Samantha and I found this page on a search for hope, that there is something that is going to make this better. I am a new Mom and new wife, my daughter is 6 months old. I am a student taking online college classes as well pursing a career in health and human services. I graduate in Feb of 2018 with my associate's which is super excited and something to look forward to. Yet lately I find myself rapidly going down hill mentally. I am constantly alone, and to make matters worse my husband who is also my best friend, has no phone because it broke and we are waiting for the replacement in the mail. I just can't seem to shake this anger and sadness, it goes so deep all the way to my core. Yesterday I couldn't get my daughter to stop crying so I literally had a melt down. I just don't know what to do anymore I feel so hopeless, and everytime I try to get better or forget what happened something else happens and I cant catch a break. Recently my mother in law was diagnosed with non curable breast cancer. Today before my husband left for work his sister texted him saying that they are getting together to talk about whats going on so now we are going as well. But guess what? today is our first anniversary (being married) and I was really looking forward to this and I thought for sure my husband would have something planned or want to do something but no. And I'm honestly hurt by it I'm hurt by so much. There is other days this weekend can't we go sunday like it was planned before? P.s. my husband is working today and Saturday. LIKE ALWAYS is it to much to ask for one special day to actually be for us? Can I have a break can I feel like a human like a woman like I'm loved and thought of? These thoughts taunt my everday endlessly and I feel myself slipping away more and more every time I have an "episode".

3 Comments

View replies by

M - posted on 12/12/2016

518

22

162

First off - hugs mama. And know that things WILL get better.
As for hubby - it sounds like y'all have a good relationship (which is good) so I wouldn't take him not really planning something for your anniversary in the wrong way. As someone who has lost a parent and had to deal with them being sick, there's quite a bit that you don't think about. Next to losing a child, losing a parent is probably the worst feeling you'll ever have.
As for you - it sounds like you need a break. It's easy to feel like as a mom you're not supposed to take breaks. You're supposed to have all the answers and run a tight ship. But if mama's not well, neither is the household. See if a local church offers a mother's day out program or see if a good friend can watch your daughter for a few hours. As the mother of a drama queen, I definitely understand the need to get a break. If you don't, you likely will experience an episode and that won't be good for anyone.

Eager - posted on 12/04/2016

86

0

0

That’s definitely a frustrating situation, Samantha. From what you shared, I feel you’re going through post pregnancy depression. I think it would be a good idea if you can visit your OBGYN to discuss your situation. In the meantime, I will be praying for you. Remember, God loves you immensely! Hugs!

Michelle - posted on 12/02/2016

5,042

8

3249

You are all going through a lot. I think you need to talk to your husband about how you feel.
I would say that your anniversary is the last thing on his mind with the health of his Mother. I think you have to accept that he isn't going to be doing anything for your anniversary this year. Maybe next year will be less hectic but no one knows what will happen. Don't dwell on it or you will make it sound like you are making him choose between his family or you.
How did his sister text him if his phone is broken?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms