Enough is Enough

Tenesha - posted on 05/21/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Me and my boyfriend have bee together for five years he does nothing he hardly wants to leave the house or just be a family he say being a dad is stressful does anyone have ways to get there partner motivied.

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Katherine - posted on 05/21/2011

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I agree, there is really no way to get him motivated. Maybe you need some counseling?

Maria - posted on 05/21/2011

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nope, he has to want it himself. He might not be mature enougth to be and WANT to be a father. My oldest son's dad was not ready for a child, eventhough he said he would support any decision I made. He ended up leaving us when my son was 6 months old and now does not have a relationship with our son. you need to think about whats best for YOU and your child. He may be pulling you down and stopping you from reaching your full potention. good luck

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Christy - posted on 06/13/2011

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Does he work? Or is he just mooching off you? I highly recommend Dr. Willard Harley's marriage program. I know you two aren't married, but the relationship concepts are the same! My husband and I have gone through his program and it is awesome! The first book we read through together was, "Love Buster" and the next one was "His Needs, Her Needs for Parents."

This program requires both of you to make changes in order to create happiness and love within your relationship. So you can tell your bf that this will benefit both of you!

We bought our books used off amazon.com! Saved us a lot of money, but you should be able to find them in any major bookstore.

Hope - posted on 06/13/2011

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I almost left my husband for him not owning up to his responsibilities as a man in our relationship. He worked all the time, for which was nice that he worked. (If he didn't I would have left his lazy ass.) What bothered me was that for a while we grew apart in the relationship. So we are taking time for eachother and he limits his pc game times so we and our son have regular quality time together. Sadly too many "men" act more like "boys" and it puts unnecessary pressure on the women who have enough to worry about with just being a mom. I guess if I were in your possition, I'd get time alone with my man and talk to him face to face. NO distractions: people, pc games, tv, radio etc. And say, I need to talk to you. etc. Then tell him what things you need and changes you both can make in your time to work on your relationship and for your children. Your future and your children's lives deserve to have a real involved loving man. Sorry for my rant, but I'm so sick of this generation of boys who refuse to grow up- Not what God intended at all.

Nicole - posted on 06/12/2011

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give him an altermatum. either he gets his arse up and provides for you and yuor family - or he gets out and mooches off some one else! if his arly is still parked at the end of the week - pack his bags and kick him out - if he refuses call your family/ police and have him forcefully removed (if the rent is in your name - which i presume it is as he has no income)
there are may men out there that would love to be afather to your children and teach them what a husband is supposed to do - btu at the moment all you are teaching them is that this is how a father behaves and then they look at you and see.. mothers are supposed to moan about it but nothing changes really..

do right by them and show them that it is not acceptable and that men can be very useful in the family too. invite your brother, father, uncle over for the weekends to play and cook with you etc xx

Stifler's - posted on 06/12/2011

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Give him ideas of what to do with the kids. My husband never knows what to do so I have to suggest stuff like making play dough and taking them for a swing at the park etc. and he will gladly do it with a bit of "Okay it's time to turn off the tv and do this now".

Ashley - posted on 06/12/2011

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You should let him know how stressful it is to be a mother, your job never stops. You have to let him know he have to meet you half way and it's a partnership. Team work makes the dream work.

Karen - posted on 05/21/2011

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the #1 way to motivate him is to help him bond with the baby/kid(s). but if he doesn't want to it's not going to happen until he's ready. maybe he just needs some time or is looking for his way out of the responsibilities of being a dad. I say try talking to him and finding out what he wants bugging him and if he wants to leave let him go. kids are happier when they are surrounded by happy parents.

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