Every day I am so stressed.

Christal - posted on 01/24/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have no car,,, My husband works from 2 am to 7pm. I have a 15 month old and a 9 year old who does nothing but argue with me. I just am under so much stress and anxiety I feel I need a hand ful of xanex to get threw the day. Mind you... Im trapped in a 2 bed room appartment and I have one girl friend who works. Also Just found out that my anxiety may not be anxiety may be early onset parkensens. SOOOO deep in depression i dont know what to do. I cant be a crazy alcholich mom and loose my kids.. Obviously drugs are NOT the answer Im just STUCK here like a prisioner ...so any.... ADVICE

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Alexis - posted on 01/25/2013

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I too am trapped with two kids. I've struggled with depression for decades. I try my hardest to consume myself with my children. I do a lot of singing and dancing all day-silly things to get any of us to smile. We GET OUTSIDE and take walks when the weather permits (I live in New England). I dread it each time but when we return home, its refreshing. Do you happen to have any churches nearby? Maybe you can search online for playgroups at locations that may be within walking distance. There are lots of things out there that you might just have to do a little digging to discover. I'd say research some playgroups, mothers groups, church groups, community groups. Maybe even the WIC or welfare offices could refer you to some activities (you can just call)? I don't do any groups myself as I don't have transportation and I'm not particularly comfortable walking with my kids alone in my neighborhood, but I think this post was a smart start for you. Like someone else asked, let us know what area you're from, it'll help other readers reach out to you. Maybe you can begin by exchanging emails with some local (or not) moms just to chat.
I don't know how you feel about counseling or therapy but it sounds like your sadness might need some extra help...and you might need to try to make some time for yourself...just to breathe and not be mommy for a few moments :) Even just a pen pal to vent to may help you feel some relief.
Its hard feeling like a prisoner, but having your children there is reason enough to take some big steps to make yourself better and happy. You're not much good to them if you're not in the right place...in your head/in your heart. I'm happy to share my email or fb to get your started. Maybe you can start your own playgroup and save some other moms just like you :) win-win! I'll bet one fb post addressing your other mom friends would get a little group together in no time :) Invite them to have the first playdate at your home if you can. (you can do a pot luck or snack gathering, have everyone bring a kid and a treat-and maybe a new mom friend of theirs to add to your connections). Don't feel discouraged. Whatever it is, this too will pass :)
Good luck :)
Alexis

Barbara - posted on 01/25/2013

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Christal- You truly are not alone. I have been stuck in the same situation for 13 years. However, I DO suffer from major depression and anxiety. My depression ended up taking over my life and i ended up attempting suicide. It was a big wake up call. My advise to you is always remember how important you are to your children and how much they would need you. try to picture their life without you in it. They would be lost. Second, always remember to make time for you no matter how small. (lock yourself in the bathroom) Use that time to relax and remind yourself how much worse things could be, how wonderful your children and husband are and alll the good things in your life. dont weigh on the bad or poor me things that only makes it worse. Start everyday with a positive thought and a smile. It helps me everyday! Hope I helped. Feel free too keep it touch wiht me. Like you, Im ALWAYS here. LOL.


Barbara

Eve - posted on 01/25/2013

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You're not alone. We all feel stress, anxiety, and even severe depression for different reasons. Yes, alcohol & drugs are NOT the answer...although sometimes it may feel like the only way to numb yourself. BE STRONG. Maybe we just need someone to vent to. I'm here for you, hon:)

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Kristin - posted on 01/26/2013

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You need to talk to your husband about what you are feeling. You need to talk to your doctor about what is happening as well.

You need to get out periodically. You need time on your own to process everything.

Are there parks near, how is the weather? Walks and parks burn off energy really well. Just getting out can be really beneficial to you all. I suspect the kids are picking up on your stress and are reacting to it. Set the ground rules with the 9 yo and stand your ground.

Obviously you can get online and groups like this can help. But perhaps looking for a dependable, cheap, USED car is in order. If finances are an issue, think about where you can cut back or eliminate to make up for a potential new cost. Then, as I mentioned before, TALK to your husband. If he is willing to work that much, it's because he loves you. He isn't going to want you hurting this much.

Good luck

Christine - posted on 01/26/2013

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It would be a good idea to get out as much as possible so you don't get cabin fever. Are there any parks nearby that you can take your kids to? How close are you to a town or city? If close enough, walk to town to get out and see what is there to do. Maybe you could even buy a couple of bikes if it's too far to walk. Also talk to your Dr. about what you can do for your anxiety. Maybe some counseling would do the trick and if not, maybe some medicine also.

Nichole - posted on 01/25/2013

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I can understand. I have 3 boys 8,17months and a 1 month old. I'm home all day long with the 17mo. and 1mo. Olds. There so close in age to that it makes it even harder one cries then stops then the next one cries. And my 17mo old I can't take my eyes off him for a second or he's tormenting the 1mo old an he is very clingy and revering back to tiny baby ways. Also he's hitting the toddle stages where he is into everything at all times. Also getting anything done is very hard so I try and get my 17mo involved it helps keep him busy and believe or not him taking a dish out I the dish washer or cloths into the dry is actually relaxing some how. I also try and do some kind of exercise when there napping it let me be able to do something for my self for a short period of time. And if its nice out taking the kids for a walk does wonders for both u and the kids. The past summer an fall when it got stressful off we went for a walk and things were great! Make sure u talk to someone too. It helps to hear your self talk about and get some feed back from others who have children.

Alexis - posted on 01/25/2013

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LOL... I lock the bathroom door probably 3 times a day just to look out the window and NOT think for a few moments. True story :)

Stacy - posted on 01/24/2013

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How old are ya? And are you from here? I understand what it feels like to be trapped ive got my own story. I can TRY n help ya out pal. Let me know a bit about urself first.

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