Everyone says it'll get easier..??

Mandi - posted on 10/25/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm thinking once he's grown and in his own place!

I have an 8 month old who is a really sweet natured baby. I am a sweet natured woman, compassionate, loving and I love my son dearly.

I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out most days, my incredible effort to cut out swear words is slowly slipping away and I just want to cry all the time. I do have a mental disorder, so , ok..but I'm on medication! I've even upped the dose (per dr advice) to an amount that I can't even tolerate. That's saying a lot, since I've been struggling with this mood disorder/depression for 14 years now. It's been ruled that I am not suffering from Post partum.

I feel so completely overwhelmed with everyday life, I just don't know who to turn to or talk to. Everything piles up. I have 3 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, and 3 fish tanks. My one dog has always had pretty bad general anxiety, now that I don't walk her anymore, she's beside herself with it and has to be medicated. Me without sleep is the equivalent of someone trying to take a Tasmanian devils pups from her den (really awful!) I hardly sleep either and my husband will only get up to make a bottle while I change my baby. I feed and rock back to sleep. By that time, I'm awake. Let's just say I get about 5 hours of broken up sleep a night.

I feel like I'm starting to be meaner to everyone, including my poor animals. I didn't adopt them to treat them with ill-spoken words because they wanted a scratch on the head! I would just like some support from some other moms and how the heck you got through this!! I'm not seeing the good things, because I feel like I'm becoming blinded by frustration. I became a mom so I could share my life with someone and have someone to teach and raise into a patient, loving human like me! I feel like if I continue down this path, I will be just like those awful women cussing at their 2 year old in the grocery store that I would like to punch!

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Mandi - posted on 11/01/2016

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Thanks everyone, I greatly appreciate the replies and hearing your stories. I have recently found out that I have a pretty severe case of Post partum depression, which was a very real possibility of which we were aware of. However, it seems that my husband forgot that and I remember him saying that I would be fine after the baby was born, I might even be able to go off my meds for good! He doesn't understand that my mental Illness is for life. Pregnancy was awful and post pregnancy is pretty bad too. My illness won't go away just because I have something wonderful now. My son is amazing, but mental illness + pp = absolute disaster if untreated. He is finally on board now after another meltdown yesterday and understands that once treatment starts, things will be different for the better. He has even been helping more at night :)

Anamaclellan - posted on 10/28/2016

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Sounds like a full house, I can relate since I have three kids and one is a baby. It makes me wanna pull my hair out sometimes, but I just give myself a small time out and just do something I enjoy while I let my kids do their own thing. Moms need time outs too :) Your baby is still young enough where they sleep so that helps. Just take some time for yourself to relax and do something you enjoy doing. Maybe discuss with your husband how he can better assist you, I;m sure he would love to be more help. Good luck to you.

Elise - posted on 10/27/2016

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Have you ever seen that meme that says: "if a baby wakes up crying in the night, and only the father is there to hear it, does it make a sound?" Because that's my husband. He's wonderful, he's hard-working, but he loves his sleep and it drives me nuts how his sleep is prioritized and mine takes the backburner (especially bc I am a hot mess when I'm sleep deprived). So I feel your pain there!

I think it gets easier and harder at the same time - you eventually learn how to deal with something (teething, sleep regression, etc.) and feel like you're doing good and have motherhood semi figured out, and then - guaranteed - the child changes it up.

I do think the first year after having a baby is the hardest, though. I have two kids (2 years &4 years) and pregnant with my third, and both times it took me 10-12 months to feel myself again. Also, lack of sleep is the worst offender, so if you're able to take a power nap while the baby is napping - do it. My two kids have been sick for the last month straight, I've had the same sleep as you - maybe 5 non-consecutive hours every night, and it is horrible. I've been snapping at everyone - my kids, my husband, the dog, and I would probably feel like a terrible person, except I'm too tired to process emotions, haha. But it's also normal and temporary and you will feel better once you get some sleep. You're only human, cut yourself some slack. One thing that my husband and I do is we each have a day over the weekend to sleep in - mine is Saturday and his is Sunday. We have a limit of 9:00 am, but sometimes that one day of sleep is all I look forward to all week! And it really helps.

Hang in there! You're definitely not alone and you will definitely come out on the other side of this.

Ann - posted on 10/27/2016

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Will your husband be willing to help out more from time to time? When I had my girls it was not easy raising them. I was also tired a lot and had to get my husband to help so I can get more rest. He worked full time but he would help in the evenings and on the weekends. It is not easy but there will be a time when your child will be older and more independent. Babies are adorable but need a lot of care. It takes a lot of work. It sounds like your hands are also so very full with your pets. My daughter had 2 cats that were getting into everything after her first child was born. She had to give them to a friend because it was too much for her. I pray for your strength. I believe that you are a great mom.

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