Family compairing children.

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

My sister in law has a son that is almost 3 months younger than my son. And we compair them a lot in funny habits ect. But then when I mention what he does with talking ect, she shuts down, her son only says Dada and on rare occasions says Momma (but she says it's barely understandable). She is living in Germany and I am in West Tx so I can't show her how to interact with him to help him along. She doesn't have any experience with kids and is almost always at a loss of what to do. I am guiding her as much as I can through chats online, but she is now telling me that he is giving her a deer in the head lights look when she say/tells him things. I think he may have Apraxia and their doctor has mentioned it and offered a speach theropist, but she and her husband declined it and said they wanted to wait. I am very experienced with kids and know that they can't keep putting it off. Does anyone have any ideas on how to explain how to talk to her son so that she doesn't get a deer in the head lights look? I've tried to tell her to break it down so that he can understand but maybe I'm explaining things wrong. I just wish there was something more I could do. Any ideas? I am hoping someone else's perspective and wording can help her word things so that he can catch on and understand. He does understand most directions and responds with physical action but that's it. The higher level stuff of potty training ect is what he is giving the looks for. Is she compairing him too much to my son that's almost 3 months older. My son is very advanced, he has been at a developmental level of a 3 yr old since he was a year and half. I believe this is mostly because I am experienced in early education and know how to get him excited and involved. In my opinion kids learn a lot in 3 months and it may be unfair to compair him to my son. Does anyone else agree with that?

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[deleted account]

How old are the boys? I think if she was really concerned about his speech, she would have employed the speech therapist. I understand the "wait it out" approach to medications, but most concerned parents do not just opt out of simple speech therapy.
Plus, you mentioned she is living in Germany. Do she and the child have a lot of interaction with other English speaking families? Remember, children who are exposed to more than one language in early childhood usually speak much later and with less fluency than those exposed to only one language. However, studies indicate that early exposure to multiple languages ultimately benefits children long term by developing parts of their brains often not touched until adolescence and developing more complex thought processes for communication. You might remind her about that, he will be slower now, but ultimately, he will have an edge over others. :)

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