Feel lost and unworthy being a sahm, anyone else feel this way?

Dawn - posted on 04/21/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

4

14

1

For the past year I have had some pretty bad depression and anxiety and I sure this is why I feel this way, and I am seeing a therapist but I just need some help from some woman. I feel so alone in the way I feel. So anyway I sometimes feel like I am just not going anywhere in life. Sure I have a wonderful child (he is 6 now) and I great husband and a roof over my head, but sometimes I just feel like being a sahm mom is not enough. I also get envious of people who have careers. I have never gotten a degree, just did a few semesters of college and I only worked in retail and then housekeeping so I have no real skills. I guess I feel like a dud. I see all my friends doing it all. Getting degrees, having great jobs etc and I feel stagnant. I don't need a job, as my husband makes okay money but it wouldn't hurt I guess. I also have this irrational fear that my husband will die or something and I will end up being a crazy homeless bum because first of all I would lose my mind because I love him so much and second because I have no skills or degree. How do I feel worthy? How do I just be happy? My husband doesn't understand all my worries and I know I talk to much about this stuff with him. Poor guy. Does anyone else feel this way?

5 Comments

View replies by

Ana - posted on 06/22/2015

9

0

3

We all feel this way at one point in our life. It is the rut we get stuck in being at home and not really going anywhere. Or having a purpose besides being a mom and wife. I felt that way after I was stuck at home with my autistic daughter. Thankfully she is functioning now and is attending school but I am now home alone all day.

I decided to become a surrogate. It started as to help other people but it was also to have something to do for me. I felt important, as I had to keep appointments, doctors visits, met new people and then when the baby was born, I realized just how important I was. I then felt what my sense of purpose was. I started sharing my story and then realized just how amazing this was. I did another journey and after I gave birth, the agency I used offered me a job as a coordinator and now I work from home, but still get to meet new ladies who are interested. I also volunteer in my son's soccer organization, in which has been most amazing because all the board members and people helping have accepted my daughter as their own, so we can do things as a family.

My suggestion is look into doing something to help others. Not necessarily being a surrogate, although if this sounds interesting you may contact me but helping in your community, volunteer work. Helping others always makes you feel good.

Erica - posted on 06/20/2015

17

0

2

yes! a lot of the time i feel like i am a crappy mom. i take care of my kids and everything but when it comes to coming up with things for us to do and social interactions i am so lost. i try to take them (4 years and 18 mo) to free stuff like storytime at the library and playgroups through the family center where we live. i am very shy and hardly talk to people much but at least the kids get out of the house and it helps the day go by a little better.
i've done the career thing (well i was a legal secretary, don't know if that is exactly a "career") and putting my oldest in day care and having no time with her, that wasn't great either. I try to think of that when i get in a rut.
I worry about that too with my husband. i've thought about life insurance for us but i'm kind of clueless about that stuff.
that's good you're doing the therapy. i am starting that soon myself.

Michelle - posted on 06/08/2015

14

0

1

Hey girl!

I know how you feel! And I had no support from my mom whatsoever and my hubby never cooked a meal so the first year it seemed like I was nursing all the time up at 5am everyday, scrubbing diapers and no getting to sleep untill midnight. Plus I had no personal time to take showers or anything. Finally, my brother came and kicked me in the butt, so I started taking my little 4 month old to parks, zoos and the beach. Everyday we did something fun and outside if it was nice. Then I started meeting other moms, and when I started meeting other nursing moms and that did cloth diapers like me ect... I began to realize I was not alone. This will be better for you than a therapist.... go and have fun! ITs the best and healthiest therapy. Invite other moms to your home and make meals for other people. Make clothes for your kids if you have time. Even better, help some people too. Thats when you will feel the best! You can do it!!!

Jessica - posted on 06/07/2015

9

0

2

I have anxiety as well. I worry about death of my husband and even my four kids. You need to retrain your mind. When you have the fear tell yourself it's irrational. Breathe. Smile. Laugh. I have been home for three years and I too felt unworthy. I started voluteering and I love it. I joined a church. I try to focus on my duties more, rather than my anxiety and "blue days". Cooking has became very therapeutic for me (surprising). You are not alone. Its all about finding a balance for you. Stay off sites that make you depressed or envious. And remember this... We have no boss, we run our house, make new rules for your happiness, and relax. Kind wishes.

Trisha - posted on 04/21/2015

551

0

13

You need to be mentally stimulated is my guess.

I am pretty decent with computers, so while I was home for 2 weeks after a gallbladder surgery I was BORED, and started getting depressed.

I ended up going online and finding a course to take to learn how to right a code language called PHP.

I haven't used it yet, but considering my husband is a software architect it gives me the ability to understand a bit more of what he is talking about.

Not to mention the fact that I still write that on my resume. When I start staying at home with my baby (only a few more weeks to go!) I will probably take up more courses, and try to pick up projects intermittently to make some extra cash on the side - things as simple as helping people write their resumes.

My suggestion: find something you enjoy, and get an education on it online. Most of it is free, and employers are opening up to education outside of the certifications, and degrees.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms