feeling lik the only one...

Theresa - posted on 06/02/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )




I am 25 years old and have two children, I feel like I'm the only mother struggling with Fibromialgia and Anxiety disorders, I struggle everyday to do just normal everyday chores.

Is there anyone that can relate and talk about this with me?


View replies by

Angie - posted on 06/02/2009




Yes, I fully understand where you are coming from. Although my children are now older and so am I, I was once in your shoes. I am now taking Cymbalta and it has been quite a help. I also got me weight to a heathly level - a problem I see you don't have. My childen are now 16, 11, and 8 and I still struggle day to day to get things done. While I'm not in a lot of pain, I am very fatigued. Hang in there, and do the best you can. Once you get on a good medication, you will feel better.

Lisa - posted on 06/02/2009




My grandmother has fibromyalgia, and she can't hardly move on certain days. I sugger from constant back back and it is hard to even get my 6 month old out of his crib in the morning. i have to get up and walk around before tending to him. When i was pregnant with him, my back was in so much pain all i could do was lay down, i couldnt even sit down in a chair. i had to quit work earlier then i wanted to from the pain. I am in constant pain but have not been diagnosed with anything. It makes me as well want to just cry, from the pain, because i feel like i am taking it out on my children. i get in this mood where i dont want to tend to my children at all, and then i take it out on my husband (he doesnt really help me out with anything, and he is just another kid on my list who can't do anything for himself). so i can understand your pain, i too would like to feel like a normal 26 yr old mom with no pain, and being able to run around with my kids and play, and be able to do everything else. i wish you all the best and strength espcially with your pregnancy you should just be resting as much as you can.


Samantha - posted on 06/02/2009




My mother in law has Fibromyalgia and i know that she at times is in really severe pain. For a while there, she couldn't get out of bed. She started to see a guy who does chinese medicine, like accupunture and stuff like that and he has really helped her. As for the anxiety, i can relate. I was diagnosed with GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, 2 months ago after my mom passed away. I'm 25 as well. I've found that for me, what helps with some of the anxiety is to try and take 5-10 minutes for myself. while my daughter is napping, i may play on the playstation or take a warm bubblebath (that may help with your fibromyalgia) or just close my eyes for a bit. I'm sorry to hear that you are in pain, and i hope this helps a little. *hugs*


Theresa - posted on 06/02/2009




Thank you Robyn and Sarah both.
To help you understand my situation better without looking for pity which is not my goal, I have a six year old son whom I never see because my Father and Childrens aid took him away not long after he was born, see I grew up in a very strict Catholic home of 11 children, I am the second oldest, since I was 13 I was a mommy figure to my brothers and sisters, I worked , cleaned a three story house, went to school and took care of the kids, because of this stressful life I went through depression, delusions and pain all the time later that pain was diagnosed as Fibromialgia.
I also suffered abuse from boyfriends, this is how my son Micheal came to be.
This is also the reason my Father thought I would not be capable of taking care of my own children, I was 19 when I had Micheal and I had no support from anyone, not even my ex husband at the time wanted to be a part of it.
I am now pregnant 24 weeks with a baby girl and a very loving Fiance and anxious daddy to be.
My problem is that sometimes I am walking with a cane, my body over reacts to everything emotionally and physically, I feel tired all the time even doing dishes is a huge shore and being pregnant I am supper emotional.
Not able to have the energy to even cook for myself half the time.
Sometimes I get so stressed emotionally that I can't even move from the pain I am in, I end up passing out and not breathing.
I wish people new how much I ache to be a normal mom and 25 year old.
Me being this honest seems to chase people away more than often, but I just want someone to understand and relate to, so thank you for just the responses it means alot to me even if you can't relate.

Sarah - posted on 06/02/2009




I don't have either of the things you have, but I can somewhat relate. I have multiple sclerosis and I too struggle with everyday chores. I have 4 children and some days are very difficult. My husband is in the Army and is gone all the time, and is deploying in a month. There are some days that I don't even feel like getting out of bed, but I have too. What is it that you are having a hard time with? Do you have help from family or friends? Is your husband/boyfriend understanding and supportive?

[deleted account]

I don't fully undersand fibromyalgia. I know it is basically muscle and connective tissue pain. ( not trying to lessen the severity of it, that is how the word breaks down). But i do deal with back pain that does not go away. I take a bunch of pain meds and am wondering if they aren't making it worse. My therapist called it fibromyalgia once and I need him to explain it further. But I also had/have extreme anxiety, hence the therapist. Do you take medications?

I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and was stunned, floored, shocked..

I thought maybe it was just the pressure of 2 kids, 18 months apart and being at home all day. Also I thought maybe my husband was responsible for it (anxiety, not bipolar) because his expectations are soooo high. I can chat all day about this...(if my kids were away)

Anyway, I found schedules to be helpful. When I was first starting my new medication for bipolar, I could barely remember to feed my kids, not to mention myself. I started by writing down all their meals, with the time and what it was they had eaten. I also wrote down the medications they had and the time they took it. Eventually I wrote down eveything we did in a day. After a while I started to see a pattern.( not with the meds tho) I wrote out the pattern(schedule) and tried to follow it. It was something that had to be flexible or it made my anxiety way worse. So it was very basic.

I found a website called "want what you have". It is a lovely site with tons of info from a mom who has been there. You could spend hours lokking at it, but the info is worth the time. She has a bunch of schedules you can print, and sample schedules she uses. It really helped me get myself a little organized.

I gave up on super cleaning and focus more on the kids, after all they do grow up sooo fast. I figure if someone judges my home because there are dust bunnies under my couch, they must not have kids, or they haven't enjoyed their kids. Maybe its unfair, but it helps me feel less guilty. I also have 3 dogs, so cleaning is really stupid sometimes. I live in Wisconsin, and there is always wet ground either from rain or snow.or there are grass clipping or poop on shoes...uggg! I found that every time I mop. I get insane when someone messes it up. So I gave up. I try to pick up everyday, and i clean the necessities...like toilets, and I vacuum their play area more than anywhere else. I do the dishes at night when they go to bed...which I enforce strictly at 8pm (after forever letting my daughter(2) stay up til she was tired and then she didn't sleep well at night) It is nice to know you have time from 8pm on to get stuff done, or relax...whatever is important to you.

The bottom line here is give yourself a break. It's alot of work to stay home. It's like 3+ full time jobs and you never get to clock out or have a day off. Unless your husband is awesome.

Why did you decide to stay home and not do daycare/work? If it was for the kids, then make your time at home about them. If it was to save money/ cant afford daycare, then embrace the beautiful opportunity you have with your kids. I know its really hard sometimes when the dishes are piled up and sitting on the floor makes your jeans dirty, and there is spit up in your hair and no time for a shower before an activity. But, cheesy as it sounds, you will miss it. One day you will miss the times when they were little. My daughter is only 2 but I already miss the bottle days. ( she has a bad gag reflex and I got "messy" every time I fed her for a long time!) especially the cuddles and closeness.

I hope ALL this helps.

P.S. I tend to write alot, sorry.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms