Feeling like a robot and a horrible parent because of it

Melissa - posted on 12/02/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My husband works 2 jobs just to support us because i am having a hard time finding a job so im a stay at home mom. we have 3 month old daughter (will be 4 months on the 6th) and everyday i just feel like a robot. i feel like a horrible parent because i dont always have energy to play with my daughter. all my friends left after my daughter was born and money is really tight so i stay at home all day and its the same routine with cleaning house, feeding baby, changing baby, playing with baby, cook lunch, cook dinner, etc. any suggestions as to what i can do to change things and make things a little happier? am i a bad parent because i feel like a robot sometimes?

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Adrienne - posted on 12/02/2009

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I would agree that getting out of the house will make you feel a lot better. Try finding a mother's playgroup in your area. Many places have groups just for stay at home moms. My son is two weeks old and my husband and I are looking at making a similar decision as you and yours, and i've been amazed at the amount of support groups I have been able to find, though they aren't all right for me. Hopefully, you can find a group that is right for you. Also remember that you ARE doing a job, like Jaclyn said. A job that is easily as hard as your husband's two jobs.

Jaclyn - posted on 12/02/2009

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I feel that way too sometimes. I found that getting out of the house is important. Its also important to realize you are working a job just a different kind. If you had to put your daughter in daycare you would be spending 200 a week easy. (depending on the area you live in) so try to think of yourself as saving money. I always found it helpful to take my daughter to a playgroup or story time at the library. Not only does that take some of the pressure off you to be entertainer but will also give you a chance to socialize with the other moms.

Kelsey - posted on 12/02/2009

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I have the EXACT same prob. I started not allowing myself to sleep in, no matter what, I have a shower asap, I will even put her in her highchair and bring it into the bathroom w me while I shower, I wear NORMAL clothes, NO PJS, and do my hair and makeup. Im always ready sometime before noon, and feel good enough to go anywhere. Its pretty cold where I live, so walks take alot of motivation, but when your nice and done up, you are a much more energetic happy person. P.S. Drink coffee! Lots of it!

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Lindsay - posted on 12/04/2009

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I know how you feel also, I have kids and i stay home its very hard and people dont relize its the hardest job in the world and i get depressed , What i do is every few months i have my husband pick a night to stay home with the kids and i go out with a few friends for like 3 or 4 hours just to get out of the house and be kid-free , also my mom takes my kids 1 time a month for the weekend, so that helps alot

Amy - posted on 12/04/2009

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I went from working full time to a full time stay at home mom. My son is 17 months and I have felt the same way. We live in VA and all of our families live in PA. I really don't have any friends where I live to spend time with so it has been very hard. And as much as he tries my husband can't really understand. I used to go to the library for story time until the H1N1 breakout. Now I'm nervous about that. That was helpful though. It is great for both of us to just get out of the house for a walk or shopping every once and a while. Still feel like that a lot though.

Lisa - posted on 12/04/2009

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You are not a bad parent. You are exhausted and need a change in your routine. I know it's getting cold and leaving the house is a hassle but going out helps. go online and look for mommy groups in your area to hang out with. some hospitals have free ones. Also the library is a great resource. The Happiest baby is the best video I've ever seen for a new mom. Don't make the mistake of cleaning when she is asleep that is your time. Take a nap a short one and give yourself a home mani pedi. I know it seems self indulgent but you need it right now. Enjoy the cuddle time she's giving you before you know it she'll be walking then running then you chasing her.....lol. Buddle her up if it's 50 degrees or higher and go for a walk. Exercise helps... a lot. check out the book (from the library) The Orgasmic Diet. It does help with libido but it also can help raise your energy level. Hope some of this helped.

Amber - posted on 12/03/2009

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Put ya some make up on wear some regular clothes and not stay in PJs, I dont sleep in anymore cause i always feel worse! We have a park like 5 mintues away from our house so we go to park! good luck! your not a bad parent for feeling the way you do

Adrienne - posted on 12/03/2009

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It depends on what part of town you live in. You could try craigslist...I found a group through a local Starbucks too, on the community board. Try Babycenter.com as well. Also you could just google "stay at hom mom groups in (your city). I really hope you find something!

Kelsey - posted on 12/02/2009

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Quoting Adrienne:

I would agree that getting out of the house will make you feel a lot better. Try finding a mother's playgroup in your area. Many places have groups just for stay at home moms. My son is two weeks old and my husband and I are looking at making a similar decision as you and yours, and i've been amazed at the amount of support groups I have been able to find, though they aren't all right for me. Hopefully, you can find a group that is right for you. Also remember that you ARE doing a job, like Jaclyn said. A job that is easily as hard as your husband's two jobs.



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