feeling overwelmed or just lazy?

Charity_knox - posted on 01/28/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have 2 year old twins and a 5 year old. Some days I feel overwhelmed and the laundry piles up clean on the couch and the house turns into a wreck. My 2 year olds have been sick and clingy and some things haven't got done. I feel guilty and lazy even though I am trying but sometimes it is not apparent in the looks of my house. I can be very disciplined in many things but having children can be such a challenge. Moms I know I can't be the only one. Some days are great and some days nothing gets done and my husband wonders what I did all day. I always manage to have a hot meal cooked when he gets home even if the house looks like a bomb went off. Need to hear from you other moms.

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Charity_knox - posted on 01/30/2014

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Thanks
Ladies. My birthday is coming up and I am hiring a cleaning
Lady for a few hours. A gift to myself. I work part time too. I just feel insufficient sometimes. How do those sahm with 2+ kids have immaculate houses? Some days I can just keep the kids alive and fed screw the rest of my to do list. I guess I'd rather have a messy house and keep my sanity and spend time with the kids. Sometimes I do waste time and all but often it's because I am overwhelmed . Hearing 2 or 3 whining needy kids is enough to say screw the housework. I have faults and can be very unorganized. My husband helps sometimes but it is usually because he is annoyed or has to dig in the clean laundry bin cause he needs socks!!!

Andae - posted on 01/30/2014

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(So sorry this is a long post, but I feel like I can relate!!)

Girl! I feel ya! I have been going through the same thing since my youngest (2 yrs old now) was born. I went right back to work when we had my 4 yr old but because we aren't able to afford daycare anymore, we decided the best choice was for me to become a SAHM.
We recently just moved 2 months ago as well so my husband could have a higher-paying job, instead of 2 so-so paying jobs. Anyway, I find my days drag on and on most of the time. I also have no motivation to clean all day everyday like I used to. Now, I clean enough so the house isn't filthy but the toys and laundry were a never-ending battle. I know part of my problem is this idea i have in my head that I'm supposed to be a super-mom, getting the house spotless everyday, laundry caught up, hot gourmet meal every night, etc. But I'm starting to realize that is just not possible. My kids are so young so it is hard for them to clean how their rooms and playroom needs to be cleaned. It stresses me out to see all this stuff sitting around the house.
Lately, my saving grace has been tubs/bucket/baskets. Everything gets its own tub. I start in the morning after breakfast if it's a mess, and everything gets put in it's own tub. (books, toys, coloring stuff, etc.) Then after lunch the kids and I pick up whatever is laying around again. Before they go to bed I make the kids clean up whatever toys or clothes of theirs is hanging around. Even though I'm completely exhausted, wanting just to go to sleep, I finish picking up the stuff laying around. It's not the best way to do it at all, but at least the "stuff" isn't everywhere looking like a tornado.
To get whatever laundry done I can, I put a load in at each meal. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. Then I put all the clean laundry on my bed and fold it while I'm watching a movie at night. That way, I can't go to sleep with clothes all over my bed, so I fold and put into a basket to be put waway tomorrow.

To clean the bathrooms, I usually do it when the kids are taking a bath. I can clean and keep an eye on them that way.

Dishes usually get done when I put them up to the table coloring or on the floor with toys in the kitchen near me. That's the only way I can accomplish it.

Any other cleaning-mopping, excess laundry, etc gets done on the nights my husband is home (he works 3rd shift) or on the weekends if I can. He watches them or takes them somewhere for an hour or two so I can finish stuff.

As for your hubby asking what you've done? Sometime when he can take a day or two off, he will be able to see what you "do". Have you tried talking to him? Does he know you're unhappy and overwhelmed? Sounds like you don't get any time to yourself to do something fun or not cleaning/kid related. I've convinced my husband a long soak in the tub and a rag mag is like my therapy. So when he's home and I say hey I'm going to take a bath, he knows I need a break and usually keeps the kids out of my hair during that time.

We also have 2 older kids, (my step kids- 8 and 12) that we get for the summer, and I'm hoping this system continues with the tubs when they're here, becase the house gets even more wrecked with all 4 kids.

I always feel lazy too, but I kind of give myself a pep talk and make some coffee. Then I start with one tub and go from there. It's easy to just do one tub. Some days I get them all cleaned up and sometimes I don't. I know tubs/baskets aren't the greatest answer, but it's working for me right now and I feel happier that way. You have to try what works for YOU.

If you ever want to talk I'm here for you. I really am. Some moms don't understnad not being motivated or whatever. I totally get it. I'm working on it day by day, just doing the best that I can.

Chet - posted on 01/28/2014

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We have four kids who are all very close in age. I understand exactly where you're coming from.

My husband works from home now though, so he completely understands how a whole day can get eaten up and hardly anything seems to have been accomplished.

It will get better when your kids are a little older.

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