feeling overwhelmed

Cheyenne - posted on 09/27/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




hi im 21 and i have a 20 month old and and another on the way in dec. lately ive been feeling trapped like i cant go or do anything without my son. im a stay at home mom while my bf works one full time job and one part time job. i guess i just need to vent because i dont feel its fair to me to be doing all the work for our son. i cook and feed him, do all our laundry, clean up after him, get up with him in the middle of the night, im awake with him if hes up until midnight. its always me. and i know i've had people tell me why dont i go to work and my bf stay home, but it wouldnt work. my bf CANNOT handle our son. he sleeps all the time and i have found my bf sleeping on the couch while hes supposed to be watching our son for 20 min while i take a shower or run to the store for milk. and he is a very heavy sleeper so he cant hear our son wake up. i have 1 good friend and thats all( im not joking). i had 2 other friends but i couldnt handle them blowing me off or not wanting to talk to me when i needed them. we live with my bf parents and they both work full time as well so im pretty much here by myself unless my bf is sleeping from working graveyards. i occasionally get to take the car to my moms house for a few hours but thats about it or if my son has a doc appt. im just feeloing really trapped and helpless. its a dificlt situation for me because my bf does work and he needs the gas to go to work everyday( 60 miles to and from work) so there will be times where i wont even leave the house for a week at a time. ive kinda stoped wanting to make new friends because i dont se the point if i cant even get out of the house and take my car somewhere without my bf permission. and with a new baby coming into the pic im worried things between me and my bf will get even worse. and i wont be able to handle 2 kids by myself. if anyone has gone through this please help. and i was in couseling but i had to stop because my bf didnt think i needed it so i stopped so we wouldnt break up.

and ladies, if you dont have anything nice to say about this then i would suggest dont reply. i have enough problems and i dont need to deal with aruging to someone i dont even know.


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Tinker1987 - posted on 10/04/2011




Sounds exausting but its motherhood hun!! i am the main one that does everything around here and for my son,i dont "work" so my job is here 24/7. Got to tough it out! i dont expect my fiance too do alot around here because he works hard to provide for us. we all have our overwhelming days. However we all need some "me time" when your man is around you should be able to trust him enough to go do something for yourself,and get out of the house...tell him not to get comftorable on the couch where he will fall asleep. i know what its like my man fell asleep once too an dboy did i flip my bird when i got home.and since he never fell asleep again! Also have you considered putting your son in a daycare or private dayhome just once a week. to give yourself a bit of a break?? that may make a difference around here a priveate day home charges like 25-30 a day...just a thought...good luck to you.

Rebecca - posted on 10/04/2011




Maybe you could try and move near to where your boyfriend works, you dont have your own place which makes it annoying because you would be trapped being in somebody elses house, plus u don't get the support u need from ur boyfriend as she has to work...I say its time to leave the parents house, get a place closer to his work or get a job and put the kids in nursery or school that way you wouldn't feel stuck and u could work 50/50 home and work!

I understand its hard but if ur pretty much on your own your boyfriend would understand if u wanted to move closer to his work place, then he would be home in 10mins rather than however long it takes him to drive 60miles! hope this helps. xx

Rebecca - posted on 09/27/2011




Try going out for a walk with your son(put him in a stroller). It clears your mind, you get exercise and its a change of scenery. Also look into a local preschool moms group. This will give you the chance to meet new people and make new friends. Is there public transportation where you live? Sometimes the cost of a unlimited bus pass is worth it just to be able to get out.
These are all just suggestions and I hope they help.

Emily - posted on 09/27/2011




Girl. I have been where you are and still dealing. I have two girls who are 18 months apart. My husband works all the time and i feel so overwelmed. reading what you wrote it was like me and you are almost living the same. What helps me is alot of prayer. I do try to get my girls to take a nap or swing and take time for myself. But I also wrap myself up even more taking care of my girls. Lately that is all that has helped me. I have not went to therapy. But sometimes I wish i did. I don't know if my words have helped you. I just know what you are going thru is hard and scary. I guess knowing that i am not alone helps me.

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