Feeling rushed into having more children

Alicia - posted on 01/16/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Is it selfish not to have more children when my husband wants more? I had a terrible pregnancy, pre pregnancy I wished to have two children close in age. Now I am happy with one, I feel rushed to have more to satisfy my husband and to give my current child a playmate. My current child is just one year old and I feel like its now or never. Anyone else battling this controversy?

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Michelle - posted on 01/17/2013

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I agree with S.J. You need to let your husband know how you feel. Every pregnancy is different and the next one my be really easy but just in case it isn't you may want your child to be a bit more independent first.

I had 2.5 years between my first 2 and then 6 years between 2 & 3 and I've liked all of the age gaps. The oldest 2 are best friends and they both help look after the youngest one.

I would sit down with your husband and talk about your concerns and maybe put it off for another year or so and then see how you feel. Don't tell him that you never want another one, just say not at this stage and you will discuss it again next year.

S. - posted on 01/17/2013

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I wanted 4 then I had my first and said "Emmm maybe I just want two" I had a 9 year age gap and went on to have two more kids closer in age. Point being things change constantly.
Your bound to be put off if you've had a bad time but all pregnancies are different, just because you've had a bad time doesn't mean to say you will have another bad one. And why is it now or never? A one year gap is a really close age gap, my younger ones have a two year and ten month age gap and for me it was perfect, my middle one turned 2 I then spent the whole of my pregnacy getting her independent, potty trained, walking without a pram feeding her self at all times so when baby came I had a baby and a big girl it was so much easier then it would have been if I hadn't had the time why my middle one. Their 2 and 4 now and most of the time they are best friends.

Explain to your hb how you feel. Maybe the time isn't right now so maybe because you've put a time limit on it you've put yourself under to much pressure. I always get a bit broody once my kids turn two because there not so much of a baby anymore if you take away the pressure you might find it comes natural to you too.

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