Finding it hard to keep it together....

Kadisha - posted on 04/03/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I'm finding it very hard to keep it together being a stay at home mom.. Is anyone else having this issue? I have a 3yr old and a 5month old and my schedule is allll out of wack. I mean late dinner, baths, etc..

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Kenna - posted on 04/04/2010

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I have been a stay at home mom for a long time, and when my kids were small i killed myself trying to do everything that I thought moms were supposed to be doing. As I got older and wiser i realized that if I run my house like a daycare with strict schedules and too many items on my "things to do list: than I could possibly accomplish, that my kids might as well be in daycare. When the second kid came around I started a new schedule, theirs. I fed them when they were hungry, I laid them down when they were tired, I play when they wanted to play....the housework got done when the kids were occupied and at night when they were all in bed. They only get one childhood, do not waste the precious little time you have with them on trying to meet unrealist expectations that you'd have to be super woman to pull off :).

Caitlin - posted on 04/03/2010

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You are not alone at all with this feeling! I also am a stay at home mom. I have a 22month and 10 month old. They keep me very bussy. Laundry rarely gets done, house cleaning maybe once a week (bathroom once a day), Meals are never at the same time every day. Going out is not really an option, unless I take the kids on a walk. I also have no friends and have not had any since I moved here 3 years ago. (at home mom and live in superintendant). Baths happen every other day for the kids I find it helps prolong their bedtime so that they will sleep better at night.

Well I guess all you really need to know it that you are not alone!

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Michelle - posted on 04/05/2010

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I have 4 kids, they are older now (ages 13-7), but when they were little, it was very hard to "keep it together". I found keeping a general schedule helped, I always got them dressed first thing in the AM, helps them learn it's the start of the day. Always tried to get out of the house in the morning and run ONE errand - always made me feel productive! Afternoons, lunch and naps - mom too! Reading and free play after naps. Most importantly, I always tried to get up before them or before my husband left for the day and get showered and dressed or go to the gym and get some exercise and a shower while the kids are in the kiddie care. That makes such a difference, knowing that you could at least do that for yourself each day! Back off on the house work - do only what needs to be done to keep your house basically functioning and sanitary. There is no one way to do this. In general if there is a basic rhythm to your day - that works best for kids AND YOU. I don't like strict schedules because I think it's important for kids to learn to be somewhat adjustable, because that's life - sometimes things just don't go as planned. It's all good - tomorrow is another day and you are probably doing better than you think! Hang in there! If you don't think you can, NEVER be afraid to ask for help. In my experience, I have found that most people are happy to help you out. OH - and the best thing I ever did? Peapod Grocery on-line shopping and delivery!

Davine - posted on 04/03/2010

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Hi...I have a 3yr old daughter, and 13mnth son and a 10 yr old stepdaughter on weekends and any time her mom needs us to take her! Everyone always thinks our jobs are so easy that we can just sit around and do what needs to be done when we feel like it. When the truth is, we run on the kids schedules. I am a 23yr old with a touch of add and ocd. LOL which makes for a very stressed out mommy! I will be the first to admit that I can get very ugly quickly...which makes me look a little crazy at times haha! But I absolutely love being home with my kids. I have no social life and find it hard to keep a clean house because i feel like i am pulled in 20 different directions. Personally, I just wing it. I take comfort in knowing that things will just happen as the day goes along, and when I get the time to do something else, then I will do it. It made me feel like a failure at first and I truly applaud thses moms that can have a set schedule and stick to it. But I personally feel that you have to be comfortable with your limitations. And if you decide that you can come up with a schedule great! But if you can just let the chips fall as the may and go with your kids at their pace, then make sure you can be comfortable with that! But also it is so important to find something for yourself...even if it is something silly. Whether it be soap operas or reading a good book or even cooking. Keep your activity handy so that when you do have just a second of peace you can pick it up and indulge yourself. And as for dinners and baths like the other ladies said, you will eventually just fall into a routine! I wish you luck as well, and if you ever need a minture to vent to someone I am always open to listen! Keep that old saying in the back of your mind as well..."If Momma aint happy aint nobody happy!"

Crystal - posted on 04/03/2010

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I am a stay at home mom also. I have 3 boys, 9 years old, 6 years old and 5 months old. All I can say is the grass is always greener. It's very difficult caring for and meeting each individual childs needs and frankly by the time evening rolls around I'm more exhausted than I was when I worked. I often feel overwhelmed by the daily demands of being a stay at home mom. My 9 year old has ADHD and my 6 year old has severe asthma that we are struggling to get under control. My husband is in the Navy and his job is very stressful, still sometimes I do feel as though he has the better deal. I love my children and feel guilty if they're not with me but at the same time, even if I'm just grocery shopping without them, I feel this heavy weight lift off my shoulders because I know I'm not the one souly responsible for them at that moment. I miss the adult interaction that comes with working as well. Just hang in there. Everything doesn't have to be (and won't be for that matter) perfect. Do the best you can with what you've got and other things will fall into place.

Iysha - posted on 04/03/2010

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I was a working mom until we moved 2 months ago. I find it hard emotionally. I have no life!! I didn't have many friends, actually I didn't have any friends, but I had my coworkers and liked going to work for the socialization between patients and at lunch time. It's weird because I actually know 2 other SAHM in my area, one just lives a few blocks away, and I can't seem to find time to visit with her. My down time is nap time and bed time. Nap time I get a shower and get at least a bit decent looking and bed time is when I unwind and relax. I didn't take a shower today, figured I could skip it today and have a bit of me time. Lol.

The thing that keeps me sane is my schedule. It definitely helps to have it written somewhere what needs to be accomplished that day. Infant schedules change a lot so it's hard. Lol. But eventually you'll have a rhythm going...right?

Here's my schedule:

7-8 am wake up with baby
8 am bottle
Play
9 am nap (mommy groom time)
10 am or sometimes later... wake and play
11 am solid feed
Play ( get what I can cleaned up in the living room and kitchen while baby is occupied and not trying to practice standing on the tile...)
2pm. Solid feed and nap after (mommy does chores)
4pm wake and play
5pm solid feed then play with dad
5:45ish start making dinner
6:30 dinner time then hang out and play with baby
8 pm bottle then kisses goodnight and baby in bed by 9pm.

I didn't really plan the schedule, it just happened that baby set it that way. Lol...it works for me though!

Kate - posted on 04/03/2010

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Mine are just turned 3 yrs and 8 month old twins. l'm just now getting on a schedule. l stopped working 14 months ago. l started scheduling breakfast at 9, lunch for the babies about 1, dinner for the babies around 5. Now l've made it to breakfast at 9. Naps for the babies at noon till they get up. 'Lunch' for them at 3. Dinner for us at 5. Babies baths starting at 6. Then they fall asleep about 7 with a bottle. They get bottles during the day when they want them. The 3 year old eats mostly when he wants to, except dinner. lf he refuses what l made, he gets his snack at 9 and is in bed by 9:30. lt's good to have some schedule worked out.

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