for all the step parents out there

User - posted on 11/16/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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how to get step daughter to stop calling her grandma mom pls help my husband and i r upset and hating it it dont look right

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Debbie - posted on 11/16/2012

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Step-Parenting can be a difficult job. You didn't say how old your step daughter is but I will assume under 12. She was probably told to call you that to help differentiate the important people in her life. If you don't mind, ask her to call you by your first name. Tell her you want to respect her and expect her to respect you. Does she live with you? Something that might give you an added "respect factor" is how she feels you treat her. Sometimes, children, in general, feel like they aren't being treated fairly by the parent. They like to use this tactic on us so we feel guilty, but we must remember that we have the right and authority to lead and expect certain behavior when family is together. Try using a reward list of things she wants to do around the house. Like, listen to my ipod, play on the computer, NOT make my bed, you know the things that she is always bugging you about and for. Then tell her that when she calls you by the name you want, she will get a reward for doing so. When she earns enough "happy face" tokens she can purchase something from the list. She will want to have those rewards because she can't do those things without tokens. She can also lose them for non-compliance. Sit down and decide what kind of family rules you and your husband want,then discuss them with your child and introduce the Happy Face Token System so she can start feeling like she wants to contribute to a happy family environment. I know of several family psychologists who use this program for step-parenting issues and find great success with it.

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