Getting My Daughter to Sleep in Her Room

Tonya - posted on 04/01/2014 ( 72 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 5 years old and I am still having issues with getting her to sleep in her own bed in her own room instead of with me an her dad every night .

72 Comments

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Chanell - posted on 04/06/2014

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Maybe since she is so used to sleeping with the both of you, ween her out of it. Maybe start making her sleep in her room 2 nights a week and add from there. But always explain what your doing and why and the importance of both. She needs to grow up and and be strong and the best way to do that is to have no interruptions at night and the best way to that is to sleep in her own room and bed. Mommy and daddy need to sleep in their own bed all night as well because they have to stay strong to take care of you. It's better to sleep in your own room and bed because you get all the rest you need and you grow up to be strong, healthy and gorgeous. Everyone needs a good night's rest.

Joanne - posted on 04/06/2014

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Hi there my son is almost 4 and we had the same issue. A phase of having him sleep with us every night!!! It was so tirying and we thought it would never end.
BUT I'm please to say for the last few weeks he has been sleeping in his own bed and through the night.
We put a stairgate on our bedroom. We explained what we were doing and why. Mummy and daddy need to sleep etc. when it's dark and the gate is on he mustn't get up. It worked the first night, now when it's bright he calls to us and says can I come in now. Maybe give this a try? Good luck

Sade - posted on 04/05/2014

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I think it may get better when she starts school. My now 7 year old always had a hard time falling asleep but when she started school she was soooo exhausted that once she got into bed she'd fall asleep in about 5 mins. lol Either way I hope things work out for your family :)

Sade - posted on 04/05/2014

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I also think one should be strict when it comes to transitions for young children. The whole transition process is shaking up their little world so as their pillar when need to show them that what we are doing is not scary but a natural process. How ever I also believe it depends on what the family as a whole is comfortable with. I myself when it was time for my 2.5 year old to give up his pacifier to ease the process for my husband and school age daughter I'd let him fall asleep in bed with me and transfer him to his own bed afterwards for the first 2 weeks. After those 2 weeks at bedtime he went straight to his bed but he'd wake up in the middle of the night. I'd then let him fall asleep with me and then take him back to his bed or I'd send him straight back. Eventually he'd go to bed with none of the above problems. This also was the same when he went from crib to toddler bed. So do what works for you to ease her into what "they feel is a big change".

Sade - posted on 04/05/2014

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Not advice to the original poster but I just wanted to say when it was time to transition my 2 y o from crib to toddler bed he also would wake up in the middle of the night around the same hour. At first I'd let him fall asleep in my bed and then transfer him to his but after too many nights of not getting a good nights sleep myself I just took him straight back to his bed tucked him in kissed and hugged him and reassured him I'm right there. He was actually still really tired so he'd fall back asleep right away. Anyhoo the gist of this is that I think the waking up in the middle of the night is because of the drastic change in sleeping arrangements.

Jodi - posted on 04/05/2014

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My daughter often woke at night and came to my room. It was generally due to nightmares and fears. Rather than be super strict about it, I actually ended up setting up a small mattress beside my side of the bed with a pillow and blankets and she just came in and curled up beside me without disturbing anyone. She felt comforted just being near me. She did outgrow it after a while, but I am quite happy that we did it that way. I didn't want to force her to face her nightmares alone at that age. It was a good solution because everyone got the sleep they needed without any middle of the night angst.

Anyway, I would consider the reasons she doesn't want to be alone. If it is about nightmares and fears, forcing her is only going to enhance those fears.

Elaine - posted on 04/04/2014

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I used the ferber technique. It was really tough but it taught my son how to comfort himself in his own environment. I started it when he was a toddler. It literally did take three nights like it said in the book as long as you dont give in(really really important!) What I found was that every time we had an interruption. eg a two week trip to England. I would have to redo it( kind of like a reboot). It was later as he got older that my son started making a choice to want to hang out in my bed as he was going to bed and that was when I started the story thing as mentioned earlier

Stephanie - posted on 04/04/2014

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My daughter finally started sleeping in her own room. Partly my fault because she only recently got her own room. She always slept with me. But once she did get her own room, I let her pick out the decorations and everything.

She falls asleep in there, BUT she always wakes up in the middle of the night and comes in there with me. I read her a bed time story and pray with her before she goes to bed. She just won't stay in her bed all throughout the night. I can only remember two nights that she hasn't gotten up.

I don't know the solution, but I think it will take more time! My daughter tells me that she is scared. But I leave a dim light on and she leaves the door open. Not sure what she is scared of, but, I figure one day she will get over her fear.

Elaine - posted on 04/04/2014

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This worked for me really well. I told my son that story time was happening at 8pm in his room whether he was in the room or not. So I started reading the story with no one in the bed and he got in there so fast. He wanted me to start again from the beginning but I said no and that story time was at 8pm and that he had to be there or he would miss the beginning. So the next night he was in there right on time. I occasionally let him sleep in my bed when Daddy is away but he considers it a treat.
I think it is really important for you to set the schedule instead of the other way around. Kids are really pushing for limits. when you start this process early on it sets the tone. Later as kids get older you can include their input and give them choices which will help them develop self regulation.

Fabienne - posted on 04/03/2014

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Oh dear…how about being super strict, I know that this will involve quite a bit of pain for you, your daughter and your entire family, but try it.
When we removed the pacifier from Olivia, oh dear, for 3 nights no one closed an eye. She was screaming off her head! We let her cry and then eventually she fell asleep again.
If your daughter comes at night to your bed, just take her back, explain to her that she needs to sleep on her own, maybe reward her with something, and distribute ear-plugs to the rest of the family.
Sometimes being strict and consequent is the only way our little ones get it.
Good luck:)

Tonya - posted on 04/02/2014

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She has a night light ,and a TV in her room ,it starts out good sometimes she will even fall asleep for a little while but then she will wake ends up in our bed every night,I'll read her a bedtime story no matter what I do she still ends up in our bed at some point .she is about to start school I hope it gets better after she starts school and not worse .

Fabienne - posted on 04/02/2014

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Hi Tonya,
I guess this takes time, so don't despair! We never had this problem with Olivia (almost 4). I bought lots of stories she can listen to when she goes to bed and 10min later she is safe and sound asleep. I guess listening to stories make kids sleepy.
Here are some great CDs you can buy or download on audible.com
Curious George rides a bike, The Cat in the Hat, The Jamie Lee Audio Collection.
Another thing that might help is a night light.
Good luck!

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