getting rid of the pacifier....help please!!!!

EVELYN - posted on 04/17/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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hi, my sons gona be 3 in july and he cannot sleep with his pacifier....i dont know what to do....he doesnt take no for an answer and he throws a tantrum if i say its lost or make up a story that someone took it, nothings worked so far...please help, i even tried the paci fairy story....still nothing....im desperate...

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Try shopping for a new bedtime pal. Tell him that it's time to get rid of the pacifier and replace it with something else. Have him pick out a special stuffed animal or small blanket that he can sleep with instead. Be prepared for the night time crying and don't give in. Keep telling him that 3 year olds are too big for a pacifier and he can have his new bedtime toy instead. It may help if you rock him, play some soft music, or rub his back while he tries to go to sleep. Good luck.

Karen - posted on 04/19/2010

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A few weeks before my daughters turned 2 we started talking about them being big girls and not needing the binky anymore. At first they were not happy to even talk about it but eventually they understood it. When the day came we got rid of them. One of my daughters was fine and the other fussed a bit at bedtime but after about 2 nights she was fine. My son is 18 months and we just got rid of his. He wasn't as attached to it though. I agree with the other mom's that talk to the kids about it. Replace the binky with a big kid blanket or stuffed animal. If you keep giving into him because he gets upset you will never get rid of them. Good luck! You can get through it,

Melanie - posted on 04/19/2010

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My daughter was 2 and still very attached to hers. One day I threw all of them away besides one. I cut a small tip off of it. When she put it in her mouth and sucked on it, she pulled it right back out and showed it to me. I just said, Oh no, it's broken.You better throw it in the trash. And she did. Then when she asked for it i would just reminded her that it was broken and we had to throw it away!

Debbie - posted on 04/17/2010

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The problem you face is not the pacifier but is his sleep routine. Each person has a sleep routine that allows them to go to sleep. If you think about it, every night we all arrange our pillows a certain way, arrange our body a certain way, make sure that the environment is the same and then when everything is right, we go to sleep. This is why when travelers stay about hotels, most people struggle with going to sleep and staying asleep. You are attempting to change his sleep pattern and it will not be easy. Talking and explaining it to him will not help because he cannot understand why he needs the pacifier to feel safe, snuggly and able to go to sleep. The first suggestion is to replace add a new sleep aid to the sleep pattern...something that he holds. It is important to have the exact same pattern or routine before sleep each night (snack, drink, bath, brushing teeth, prayer, reading a book, singing a song, rocking and snuggling him, rubbing his back, or whatever other actions you want to have in the pattern). For two to three weeks, do this pattern at the same time of night and in the exact same order. Make sure that during the ending activities (reading a book, singing, rocking, etc) that he has the new comfort aid in his hands. When it is time for bed, tuck him into bed with the new object in his hands. During this time, you will continue to allow him his pacifier. After two to three weeks, the process of taking the pacifier way begins. The first night you start by taking his pacifier out of his mouth after he goes to sleep. When he wakes up during the night (which he will), he will cry for it. Wait for 10 minutes the first time he cries, then go in and lovings rub his back, pat his back and allow him to have the pacifier to go back to sleep...making sure that he is holding his comfort object. Allow him the pacifier but then take it out after he igoes back to sleep. Always allow 10 minutes before going back into the room. I know it sounds strange but as time goes by, the number of times he will wake up during the night will slowly reduce. The process allows him to change his sleep patterns where it will begin to feel right to sleep without the pacifier in his mouth. With each of my children, it took about one to two weeks to totally wean them from the pacifier (with my daughter it only took three nights) and my children did not go through the screaming, crying exhaustion that occurs when you just take it away cold turkey. Just remember that this is a sleep problem, not a pacifier problem. I did have a friend who had a son that would still wake up once or twice in the night after the first week or two. She then started cutting off the end of it along with this process and it finally finished the process. I have had two or three friends who tried the cold turkey process and ended up having children who would not sleep for years afterwards. Plus the children acted out their rage and feelings of betrayal for awhile afterwards. I is like taking your children's bed away from them and asking them to sleep on a rock. They literally cannot sleep and know who it is that is making them sleep on a rock. They will eventually learn to sleep on the rock but the feelings of betrayal stay for some time. This is how I handled it. I don't know if there is a perfect method but it is something to try. Good luck.

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Sarah - posted on 04/20/2010

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Our son used to play with his dummy, he'd have 3 on the go at any one time. We told him that if they were lost that was it. One day he played with the last dummy he had, hid it somewhere and come bed time couldn't find it. We reminded him about what we had said, there were a few tears that night, but after about half an hour he went to bed, didn't wake up during the night. The following night the question of the dummy came and we said that it had been his responsability, and that it was gone. He was 3 1/2 at the time, and now the dummy is history. (even if I eventually found all the dummies he had hidden in the house).

Jennifer - posted on 04/20/2010

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Just throw them in the trash and tell him they are gone. Also you could tell him that he is a big boy and pacifiers are for babies.

Fi - posted on 04/20/2010

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Im not how this will fly with you but I created the 'dummy fairy' ... I have two little people and they both had a visit - the 2nd was easier cause my eldest helped perpetuate the myth. The upshot is they both got a cool pillow to take to bed and they where wrapped to have grown up enough to have the fairy visit - I told them that they where old enough to go without and that other little people needed it. It worked for me and they STILL remember - they are now 5 & 7
Good Luck :)

Rachel - posted on 04/20/2010

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I only had 1 that even took the dumb thing..
So heres how we did it. We cut the nipples off of them and told her it was broken.. she would find more of the hundreds she lost and we would say.. see its broken.. we have to throw it away (we cut the nips off and left them for her to find so it was a daily reminder for her to throw them away *for a few days).. and we would let her throw them away.. (I honestly cannot believe how many we would find after the big ordeal was over).. It took almost a week before she was over it.. Its hard because we dont want them to cry and honestly I didnt want to hear her scream not that it was hurting me.. but it didnt hurt her either ;)

Lori - posted on 04/20/2010

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*LOL* Okay this is going to sound funny but I was a pacifier child. My mom decided that it was time to give it up. She told me that I was a big girl and that a monkey came along and took it because he needed it more. She said I thought about it a minuite and said "okay" and never asked for it again. Maybe as a child I was a little naive about it but I don't remember my mom's little white lie in the situation. Only as an adult did I hear the story again and now we chuckle over it. I've also heard of ppl putting something not so pleasent of taste on the pacifiers (non toxic of course) but if your child doesn't like the taste of let's just say broccoli then more than likely they will just throw it away on their own.

Payal - posted on 04/20/2010

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I agree with Amanda Vaughn and others who suggest cutting off the tip. I did the same thing for my daughter and at first she was confused and tried to get comfortable with it without the tip. say 2-3 days later a bit more is chopped off and so on till the time it gets to uncomfortable for her to hold it in the mouth. she chucked it herself within 10 days. cold turkey is heartbreaking for me so I couldn't get myself to do it. Anyways, cutting it up worked wonders. U might have to take him for a ride in the car the first day when he is just upset about it being broken but thats do-able, right?
Give it a try pls. Its a very smooth transition, at least it was for me...touchwood. All the best!

Laura - posted on 04/20/2010

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With my daughter (who is now 9) when it was time to give up her pacifier i waited until it had become flat and slightly perished and then i told her that it was all yucky and to put it in the bin. She did. When she went to bed that night she threw a temper and i just told her that it was yuky and that it had to go in the bin and that she was a big and didn't need it anymore. I also took her to buy a special teddy that she could only take to bed. That really helped because it gave her something to replace the pacitier. One of the biggest things i can say and yes it will be a headache for you and it will take persistence, but whatever you do don't give into the temper tantrum. When he is tiered he will go to sleep even if it is just due to extreme exhaustion from screeming. It may take a few days or a week or two but be persistent and more stubborn then he is. It will work eventually. hope this helps

Alisha - posted on 04/19/2010

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my son was seven months and all of a sudden he just threw it at me and was done with it i think at the age of three u have to draw the line and just stick to ur guns and the tantrums wil eventually stop but it will be rough for a bit but itll get beta

Idalis - posted on 04/19/2010

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My son was 3 yrs old and still using a pacifier to sleep. I made him quit cold turkey. One day I threw out ALL the pacifiers. When it was time for bed and he asked for it, I told him I couldnt find it and pretended to look for one. He cried himself to sleep for about 2 nights. Then after that he just forgot about it ;)

Dawn - posted on 04/19/2010

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i should also mention giving your child rewards for being a big boy by giving him lolipops or stickers and maybe even offering him a new toy or a sleep pal(stuffed toy) the day the pacifire goes bye bye

Dawn - posted on 04/19/2010

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you are going to have to do what i did and make him go cold turkey. my oldest had a pacifier until she was almost 4. i decided that enough was enough and her dad and i made her go cold turkey and yes there was a huge fit for most of the day, but after hours of throwing a fit she tired herself out and had a good nights sleep.she did get upset for several days ,but eventually she got over it .

Andria - posted on 04/18/2010

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I had a problem also with my oldest, she was 3 when she finally stopped using a pacifier. It was hard the first 3 days, but then she didn't ask for one. She had a problem losing them, and I kept telling her that I wasn't going to buy anymore, haha, that didn't work. But then she started leaving them on the floor and we had a ferret and she would take them and chew the tips of them off and then put them in the middle of the floor so my daughter could see them. She would get so mad, and I told her that if she kept them picked up then the ferret wouldn't take them and do this to them. Try cutting the tips off of them. I have heard that it works, and also when he is on his last one, have him put it in the trash, that way he knows that he did it and it wasn't you. This worked for my daughter. I hope this helped.

Kaytie - posted on 04/17/2010

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My daughter was the same way. Finnaly we just throw them away and told her that the binky monster took them. She went around for about 3 days looking for that monster cause she was MAD! But after that she just forgot about it and life went on. He might scream but that wont last for to long maybe 2-3 nights. Good luck.

Amanda - posted on 04/17/2010

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cut a little bit off each day until its just a nub that he will have trouble sucking on and he'll give up...if that doesnt work you can do this..have him help you gather up all the pacifiers and put them in a gift bag for the Passy Fairy or whatever you call his pacifier and have him put it outside to be picked up and the next morning (you will have already had to go out there and exchange it for a treat) and get his special treat for being a big boy and getting rid of it...i suggest a new small stuffed animal to become his new bedtime buddy. good luck

Medic - posted on 04/17/2010

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Just get rid of it....he my be persistant but your the parent not him...if its gone you don't have to lie just tell him hes a big boy and big boys don't have binkies and don't give into the crying....if kids got everything they wanted because they threw tantrums we would have a very different society.

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did you try cutting the end off of it? My mom says that works great, she had to do it with my little sister. Good luck

Gina - posted on 04/17/2010

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It's going to suck for all involved,but just take them away and let him freak out. he will cry himself to sleep and after a nite or 2, it will be over. At least that is what i was told to do when i was wanting rid of them.

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