Going back to work...

Gloria - posted on 04/23/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Ok I recently went back to being a stay at home mom Super happy I am now pregnant with baby #3 i have agreed to go back to work at night part time to help us out a little bit , my husband has recently been unemployed and collecting unemployment , I am considered a high risk pregnancy and we recently found out on top of then worrying about nme rupturing i have a 6.5cm tumor on my ovary im 23 weeks pregnant , my husband and i have been arguing lately because im frustrated that he is not working and he isnt putting in allot of effort to find a job . when we got into an argument about it the other day he made it very clear that I should be working , so far no one agrees with him and we have not bought one thing for the baby , im at a loss for what i should do about this , I dont want to find a job and loose it because i end up in the hospital then spend another 3-4 months looking for another one that will fit our life , i refuse to not be an active part in my childrens daytime , i have agreed to go back to work but now im scared what should i do and why is he acting like this??? i can barely walk at times , what should i do?

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Laurie - posted on 04/23/2010

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First of all, please understand that it is VERY difficult for the man of the house to be unemployed. What we oftentimes as women perceive as laziness because they aren't out looking for a job, may be actual dread of the rejection of applications, the uncertainty of hours and pay, facing the new regimen of retraining fo something different, working with new people, etc. It is a challenge for men to be unemployed!
Maybe if you would scan employment ads together, go to temp. employmet agencies together, go with him to the jobs to ask for applications and just BE THERE, he would be encouraged to do it. God created us as wives to be helpers. This is a good way to help them. Be there for him in the hard times and the good times.
Is it possible for you to have your husband go into a doctor appointment with you and explain your restrictions so that your husband understands? This explanation could include the possible risks on the baby's life as well as consequences to you health.
What is your night job? If it is putting risk on your child's life, is there something else you can do that is not?
I'm sorry for this challenge in your life. I will pray for your family -that God might tenderize your husband's heart, that he would be encouraged and see what he could do for work, and that your marriage would be strengthened.

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Gloria - posted on 04/23/2010

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Thank you and i agree i have been so supportive with him , he has openly expressed he is worried about the job process , MY biggest problem with him is he has told everyone how he wants me to stay home and that he will need help once he goes back to work , he goes to every apointment with me . thats why im just at a loss anymore . He is also saying he wants to take advantage of being here for me and i love him soooo much for that but as soon as i start talking to him about jobs he goes into this black out mode . and its just soooo frustrating and i try and talk to him and all he keeps saying is wel lwhen are you getting a job , my job im not so scared of loosing the baby over it but im afraid of loosing the job , I want to go back to work evenings after i have the baby and breast milk comes in full! hehe , but if anything happens that i have to just go this job wont be as forgiving they will just replace me and say your fired . its 4 hours a night and 10 dollars and hour so i really dont want to mess it up and i know i can get it either now or after the baby is born . and he isnt even trying to understand what im going through . hes just so blinded by his own problems . i have 2 children only a year apart im already explaining things to all day cleaning keeping everyone happy and he just plays video games drinks with his friends and dosnt even try untill i ask him to . then when we try together he says i dont need your help your not my mom and goes into this 16 year old rant . its frustrating . but again thank you!!!! it was helpful and i will try to keep it together! ^_^

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