Going back to work part time

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 04/17/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi everyone, im ashleigh, im 21.and im sahm of 3 under 5. ive been a sahm mum since the birth of my eldest (who will be attending primary school next year). Im planning on getting a part time job. We need the extra money. But im sooooo overwhelmed with the guilt of not being with my kids 24/7.

Any advice/helpful tips? Please :(

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Elfrieda - posted on 04/17/2011

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Advice for the guilt? Well, you probably know in your head that you can be a good mom without being around them every single minute, it's just getting that knowledge into your heart. Maybe you could argue with the voice in your head that tries to guilt you. Just be calm and when you hear, "You're such a bad mom. How could you not be there when little Sally bumped her head?" just tell yourself - out loud - "I'm a good mom. I am contributing to the family by earning money to feed, clothe, and house them. Sally was very well taken care of, and she knows I love her." The voice won't go away for a long time. Just keep arguing with it, saying things you know are true.



And after a few months, take a look at the financial end of things. Are you bringing in enough to cover childcare expenses plus more? Is the extra money worth being away from your children, or are there areas where you could cut back and then go back home fulltime? Are the kids happy? Is hubby happy? Are you happy? Then you can make an informed decision, and be really confident in it.



I think that being really happy with the childcare will be one big step. Sometimes it's good to spend time with people other than mom. Kids can get bored and lazy with the same caregiver all the time, especially if we don't go to playgroups and the library, etc, which can be really tough to do with lots of kids. So, that's one way of looking at it.



I work one day a week, and feel absolutely lucky to be able to do so. It brings in some money, but even more worthwhile to me, I get to have both worlds - I'm an ESL teacher and get to do what I was trained to do and dress like a human and get out and do non-baby things, and for the rest of the week I'm with my 16 month old son, which is where my heart is. He looks WAY cuter when I get back from work then he did the day before! :) And we're so lucky, because my husband can take that day off and stay home with him, so they get bonding time and it's all-round a great thing. I hope you feel the same way soon.

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